1 Ere the steamer bore him Eastward, Sleary was engaged to marry An attractive girl at Tunbridge, whom he called "my little Carrie." Sleary's pay was very modest; Sleary was the other way. Who can cook a two-plate dinner on eight poor rupees a day? 2 Long he pondered o'er the question in his scantly furnished quarters - Then proposed to Minnie Boffkin, eldest of Judge Boffkin's daughters. Certainly an impecunious Subaltern was not a catch, But the Boffkins knew that Minnie mightn't make another match. 3 So they recognised the business and, to feed and clothe the bride, Got him made a Something Something somewhere on the Bombay side. Anyhow, the billet carried pay enough for him to marry - As the artless Sleary put it: - "Just the thing for me and Carrie." 4 Did he, therefore, jilt Miss Boffkin - impulse of a baser mind? No! He started epileptic fits of an appalling kind. [Of his modus operandi only this much I could gather: - "Pears's shaving sticks will give you little taste and lots of lather."] 5 Frequently in public places his affliction used to smite Sleary with distressing vigour - always in the Boffkins' sight. Ere a week was over Minnie weepingly returned his ring, Told him his "unhappy weakness" stopped all thought of marrying. 6 Sleary bore the information with a chastened holy joy, - Epileptic fits don't matter in Political employ, - Wired three short words to Carrie - took his ticket, packed his kit - Bade farewell to Minnie Boffkin in one last, long, lingering fit. 7 Four weeks later, Carrie Sleary read - and laughed until she wept - Mrs. Boffkin's warning letter on the "wretched epilept." . . . Year by year, in pious patience, vengeful Mrs. Boffkin sits Waiting for the Sleary babies to develop Sleary's fits.
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