I sit in the midst of my study With cake crumbs adorning my hair My boots are confoundedly muddy And are leaving wet marks on the chair That supports the fair feet of your Ruddy As he rests with stale cake in his hair · I am full of a sense of importance, Of lobster, cream, pilchards and cake And I feel in my—bosom grim portents That herald the course of an ache I remark I am racked with grim portents That usher abdominal ache. Yet I write you this letter fraternal I indite you this brotherly note Tho' my tortures are waxing infernal I write as I ever have wrote Observe that my tone is fraternal And I write as I ever have wrote. Be it known to you fairest of females That dulness is dominant here And there's little to interest we males Whose smallness is lesser than beer I complain that in spite of our three mails Per diem there comes nothing here Moreover the weather is wondrous And skies that should rain only shine We have dry chalk and gravel roads under us And the sun is at work before nine I may state as a fact still more wondrous I too am at work before nine And further to tell you, the Kingsley Memorial College is built And throughout it strange carpenters' things lie And paint-pots are lavishly spilt Id est they are fitting the Kingsley With hoardings & carvings and gilt. By a special train chartered at Bristol The guilt comes, some two hundred strong The sons of land-owners who missed all Their rents when the Green Isle went wrong To be plain , all the boys come from Bristol By the packets of Vermouth and Long. We have purchased some tea-pots of delft ware We found in a Bideford shop That crammed on the back of a shelf were (Mrs Morten 's-she takes things to p-p) In a shop where a friend & myself were Knocking round as we do in a shop. I have got three most quaintest of glasses For Miss Winnard, (I'll send 'em along) Whose shape all description surpasses And I purchased them all for a song Which means that the price of those glasses Was entirely other than long And now since the sun is descending I must finish my brotherly note I must make of beginning an ending I must finish this versified note Take a picture I've drawn as an ending Most fit for a metrical note.