We have another viceroy now, - those days are dead and done Of Delilah Aberystwith and depraved Ulysses Gunne. 1 Delilah Aberystwith was a lady - not too young - With a perfect taste in dresses and a badly-bitted tongue, With a thirst for information, and a greater thirst for praise, And a little house in Simla in the Prehistoric Days. 2 By reason of her marriage to a gentleman in power, Delilah was acquainted with the gossip of the hour; And many little secrets, of the half-official kind, Were whispered to Delilah, and she bore them all in mind. 3 She patronized extensively a man, Ulysses Gunne, Whose mode of earning money was a low and shameful one. He wrote for certain papers, which, as everybody knows, Is worse than serving in a shop or scaring off the crows. 4 He praised her "queenly beauty" first; and, later on, he hinted At the "vastness of her intellect" with compliment unstinted. He went with her a-riding, and his love for her was such That he lent her all his horses and - she galled them very much. 5 One day, THEY brewed a secret of a fine financial sort; It related to Appointments, to a Man and a Report. 'Twas almost worth the keeping, - only seven people knew it - And Gunne rose up to seek the truth and patiently ensue it. 6 It was a Viceroy's Secret, but - perhaps the wine was red - Perhaps an Aged Councillor had lost his aged head - Perhaps Delilah's eyes were bright - Delilah's whispers sweet - The Aged Member told her what 'twere treason to repeat. 7 Ulysses went a-riding, and they talked of love and flowers; Ulysses went a-calling, and he called for several hours; Ulysses went a-waltzing, and Delilah helped him dance - Ulysses let the waltzes go, and waited for his chance. 8 The summer sun was setting, and the summer air was still, The couple went a-walking in the shade of Summer Hill. The wasteful sunset faded out in turkis-green and gold, Ulysses pleaded softly, and . . . that bad Delilah told! 9 Next morn, a startled Empire learnt the all-important news; Next week, the Aged Councillor was shaking in his shoes. Next month, I met Delilah and she did not show the least Hesitation in affirming that Ulysses was a "beast". * * * * * We have another Viceroy now, those days are dead and done - Off, Delilah Aberyswith and most mean Ulysses Gunne!
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