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	<title>Women &#8211; The Kipling Society</title>
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		<title>A Friend’s Friend</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/a-friends-friend.htm</link>
		
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		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2021 16:59:57 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<em>(The Kipling Society presents here Kipling’s work as he wrote it, but wishes to alert readers that the text below contains some derogatory and/or offensive language)</em> <strong>[a short tale]</strong> Wherefore slew you the stranger? He ... <a title="A Friend’s Friend" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/a-friends-friend.htm" aria-label="Read more about A Friend’s Friend">Read more</a>]]></description>
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<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 14px; font-family: times new roman, times, georgia, serif;"><em>(The Kipling Society presents here Kipling’s work as he<br />
wrote it, but wishes to alert readers that the text below<br />
contains some derogatory and/or offensive language)</em></span></p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>[a short tale]</strong></p>
<pre style="text-align: center;"><small><span style="font-size: 14px;">Wherefore slew you the stranger? He brought me dishonour.</span></small>
<small><span style="font-size: 14px;">I saddled my mare Bijli. I set him upon her.</span></small>
<small><span style="font-size: 14px;">I gave him rice and goat’s flesh. He bared me to laughter;</span></small>
<small><span style="font-size: 14px;">When he was gone from my tent, swift I followed after,</span></small>
<small><span style="font-size: 14px;">Taking a sword in my hand. The hot wine had filled him</span></small>
<small><span style="font-size: 14px;">Under the stars he mocked me. Therefore I killed him.</span></small>
<small><i> <span style="font-size: 14px;">(Hadramauti)</span> </i></small></pre>
<p><b>THIS</b> tale must be told in the first person for many reasons. The man whom I want to expose is Tranter of the Bombay side. I want Tranter black-balled at his Club, divorced from his wife, turned out of the Service, and cast into prison, until I get an apology from him in writing. I wish to warn the world against Tranter of the Bombay side.</p>
<p>You know the casual way in which men pass on acquaintances in India? It is a great convenience, because you can get rid of a man you don’t like by writing a letter of introduction and putting him, with it, into the train. Globe-trotters are best treated thus. If you keep them moving, they have no time to say insulting and offensive things about ‘Anglo-Indian Society.’</p>
<p>One day, late in the cold weather, I got a letter of preparation from Tranter of the Bombay side, advising me of the advent of a G.T., a man called Jevon; and saying, as usual, that any kindness shown to Jevon would be a kindness to Tranter. Every one knows the regular form of these communications.</p>
<p>Two days afterwards Jevon turned up with his letter of introduction, and I did what I could for him. He was lint-haired, fresh-coloured, and very English. But he held no views about the Government of India. Nor did he insist on shooting tigers on the Station Mall, as some G.T.’s do. Nor did he call us ‘colonists,’ and dine in a flannel-shirt and tweeds, under that delusion as other G.T.’s do. He was well behaved and very grateful for the little I won for him—most grateful of all when I secured him an invitation for the Afghan Ball, and introduced him to a Mrs. Deemes, a lady for whom I had a great respect and admiration, who danced like the shadow of a leaf in a light wind. I set great store by the friendship of Mrs. Deemes; but, had I known what was coming, I would have broken Jevon’s neck with a curtain-pole before getting him that invitation.</p>
<p>But I did not know, and he dined at the Club, I think, on the night of the ball. I dined at home. When I went to the dance, the first man I met asked me whether I had seen Jevon. ‘No,’ said I. ‘He’s at the Club. Hasn’t he come?’—‘Come!’ said the man. ‘Yes, he’s very much come. You’d better look at him.’</p>
<p>I sought for Jevon. I found him sitting on a bench and smiling to himself and a programme. Half a look was enough for me. On that one night, of all others, he had begun a long and thirsty evening by taking too much! He was breathing heavily through his nose, his eyes were rather red, and he appeared very satisfied with all the earth. I put up a little prayer that the waltzing would work off the wine, and went about programme-filling, feeling uncomfortable. But I saw Jevon walk up to Mrs. Deemes for the first dance, and I knew that all the waltzing on the card was not enough to keep Jevon’s rebellious legs steady. That couple went round six times. I counted. Mrs. Deemes dropped Jevon’s arm and came across to me.</p>
<p>I am not going to repeat what Mrs. Deemes said to me, because she was very angry indeed. I am not going to write what I said to Mrs. Deemes, because I didn’t say anything. I only wished that I had killed Jevon first and been hanged for it. Mrs. Deemes drew her pencil through all the dances that I had booked with her, and went away, leaving me to remember that what I ought to have said was that Mrs. Deemes had asked to be introduced to Jevon because he danced well; and that I really had not carefully worked out a plot to get her insulted. But I felt that argument was no good, and that I had better try to stop Jevon from waltzing me into more trouble. He, however, was gone, and about every third dance I set off to hunt for him. This ruined what little pleasure I expected from the entertainment.</p>
<p>Just before supper I caught Jevon at the buffet with his legs wide apart, talking to a very fat and indignant chaperone. ‘If this person is a friend of yours, as I understand he is, I would recommend you to take him home,’ said she. ‘He is unfit for decent society.’ Then I knew that goodness only knew what Jevon had been doing, and I tried to get him away.</p>
<p>But Jevon wasn’t going; not he. He knew what was good for him, he did; and he wasn’t going to be dictated to by any colonial nigger-driver, he wasn’t; and I was the friend who had formed his infant mind, and brought him up to buy Benares brassware and fear God, so I was; and we would have many more blazing good drunks together, so we would; and all the she-camels in black silk in the world shouldn’t make him withdraw his opinion that there was nothing better than Benedictine to give one an appetite. And then . . . but he was my guest.</p>
<p>I set him in a quiet corner of the supper-room, and went to find a wall-prop that I could trust. There was a good and kindly Subaltern—may Heaven bless that Subaltern, and make him a Commander-in-Chief!—who heard of my trouble. He was not dancing himself, and he owned a head like five-year-old teak-baulks. He said that he would look after jevon till the end of the ball.</p>
<p>‘’Don’t suppose you much mind what I do with him?’ said he.</p>
<p>‘Mind!’ said I. ‘No! You can murder the beast if you like.’</p>
<p>But the Subaltern did not murder him. He trotted off to the supper-room, and sat down by Jevon, drinking peg for peg with him. I saw the two fairly established, and went away, feeling more easy.</p>
<p>When ‘The Roast Beef of Old England’ sounded, I heard of Jevon’s performances between the first dance and my meeting with him at the buffet. After Mrs. Deemes had cast him off, it seems that he had found his way into the gallery, and offered to conduct the Band or to play any instrument in it, just as the Bandmaster pleased.</p>
<p>When the Bandmaster refused, Jevon said that he wasn’t appreciated, and he yearned for sympathy. So he trundled downstairs and sat out four dances with four girls, and proposed to three of them. One of the girls was a married woman by the way. Then he went into the whist-room, and fell facedown and wept on the hearth-rug in front of the fire, because he had fallen into a den of card-sharpers, and his Mamma had always warned him against bad company. He had done a lot of other things, too, and had taken about three quarts of mixed liquors. Besides, speaking of me in the most scandalous fashion!</p>
<p>All the women wanted him turned out, and all the men wanted him kicked. The worst of it was, that every one said it was my fault. Now, I put it to you, how on earth could I have known that this innocent, fluffy G.T. would break out in this disgusting manner? You see he had gone round the world nearly, and his vocabulary of abuse was cosmopolitan, though mainly Japanese, which he had—picked up in a low tea-house at Hakodate. It sounded like whistling.</p>
<p>While I was listening to first one man and then another telling me of Jevon’s shameless behaviour and asking me for his blood, I wondered where he was. I was prepared to sacrifice him to Society on the spot.</p>
<p>But Jevon was gone, and, far away in the corner of the supper-room, sat my dear, good Subaltern, a little flushed, eating salad. I went over and said, ‘Where’s Jevon?’—‘In the cloakroom,’ said the Subaltern. ‘He’ll keep till the women have gone. Don’t you interfere with my prisoner.’ I didn’t want to interfere, but I peeped into the cloakroom, and found my guest put to bed on some rolled-up carpets, all comfy, his collar free, and a wet swab on his head.</p>
<p>The rest of the evening I spent in making timid attempts to explain things to Mrs. Deemes and three or four other ladies, and trying to clear my character—for I am a respectable man—from the shameful slurs that my guest had cast upon it. Libel was no word for what he had said.</p>
<p>When I wasn’t trying to explain, I was running off to the cloakroom to see that Jevon wasn’t dead of apoplexy. I didn’t want him to die on my hands. He had eaten my salt.</p>
<p>At last that ghastly ball ended, though I was not in the least restored to Mrs. Deemes’ favour. When the ladies had gone, and some one was calling for songs at the second supper, that angelic Subaltern told the servants to bring in the <i>Sahib</i> who was in the cloakroom, and clear away one end of the supper-table. While this was being done we formed ourselves into a Board of Punishment with the Doctor for President.</p>
<p>Jevon came in on four men’s shoulders, and was put down on the table like a corpse in a dissecting-room, while the Doctor lectured on the evils of intemperance, and Jevon snored. Then we set to work.</p>
<p>We corked the whole of his face. We filled his hair with meringue-cream till it looked like a white wig. To protect everything till it dried, a man in the Ordnance Department, who understood the work, luted a big blue paper cap from a cracker, with meringue-cream, low down on Jevon’s forehead. This was punishment, not play, remember. We took gelatine off crackers, and stuck blue gelatine on his nose, and yellow gelatine on his chin, and green and red gelatine on his cheeks, pressing each dab down till it held as firm as goldbeaters’ skin.</p>
<p>We put a ham-frill round his neck, and tied it in a bow in front. He nodded like a mandarin.</p>
<p>We fixed gelatine on the back of his hands, and burnt-corked them inside, and put small cutlet-frills round his wrists, and tied both wrists together with string. We waxed up the ends of his moustache with isinglass. He looked very martial.</p>
<p>We turned him over, pinned up his coat-tails between his shoulders, and put a rosette of cutlet-frills there. We took up the red cloth from the ball-room to the supper-room, and wound him up in it. There were sixty feet of red cloth, six feet broad; and he rolled up into a big fat bundle, with only that amazing head sticking out.</p>
<p>Lastly, we tied up the surplus of the cloth beyond his feet with cocoanut-fibre string as tightly as we knew how. We were so angry that we hardly laughed at all.</p>
<p>Just as we finished, we heard the rumble of bullock-carts taking away some chairs and things that the General’s wife had lent for the ball. So we hoisted Jevon, like a roll of carpets, into one of the carts, and the carts went away.</p>
<p>Now the most extraordinary part of this tale is that never again did I see or hear anything of Jevon, G.T. He vanished utterly. He was not delivered at the General’s house with the carpets. He just went into the black darkness of the end of the night, and was swallowed up. Perhaps he died and was thrown into the river.</p>
<p>But, alive or dead, I have often wondered how he got rid of the red cloth and the meringue-cream. I wonder still whether Mrs. Deemes will ever take any notice of me again, and whether I shall live down the infamous stories that Jevon set afloat about my manners and customs between the first and the ninth waltz of the Afghan Ball. They stick closer than cream.</p>
<p>Wherefore, I want Tranter of the Bombay side, dead or alive. But dead for preference.</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">9310</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Second-rate Woman</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/a-second-rate-woman.htm</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[John Radcliffe]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 May 2021 13:07:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/?post_type=tale&#038;p=31397</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<strong>page 1 of 7 </strong> <em>Est fuga, volvitur rota,</em> On we drift: where looms the dim port? One, Two, Three, Four, Five contribute their quota: Something is gained if one caught but the import,— Show ... <a title="A Second-rate Woman" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/a-second-rate-woman.htm" aria-label="Read more about A Second-rate Woman">Read more</a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 1 of 7<br />
</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><em>Est fuga, volvitur rota,</em><br />
On we drift: where looms the dim port?<br />
One, Two, Three, Four, Five contribute their quota:<br />
Something is gained if one caught but the import,—<br />
Show it us, Hugues of Saxe-Gotha.</span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">(Master Hugues of Saxe-Gotha)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14px;"><i>Robert Browning</i></span></p>
<div id="leftmargin">
<p><b>‘DRESSED!</b> Don’t tell me that woman ever dressed in her life. She stood in the middle of the room while her <i>ayah</i>—no, her husband—it <i>must</i> have been a man—threw her clothes at her. She then did her hair with her fingers, and rubbed her bonnet in the flue under the bed. I <i>know</i> she did, as well as if I had assisted at the orgy. Who is she?’ said Mrs. Hauksbee.‘Don’t!’ said Mrs. Mallowe feebly. ‘You make my head ache. I am miserable to-day. Stay me with <i>fondants</i>, comfort me with chocolates, for I am——Did you bring anything from Peliti’s?’</p>
<p>‘Questions to begin with. You shall have the sweets when you have answered them. Who and what is the creature? There were at least half-a-dozen men round her, and she appeared to be going to sleep in their midst.’</p>
<p>‘Delville,’ said Mrs. Mallowe, ‘“Shady” Delville, to distinguish her from Mrs. Jim of that ilk. She dances as untidily as she dresses, I believe, and her husband is somewhere in Madras. Go and call, if you are so interested.’</p>
<p>‘What have I to do with Shigramitish women? She merely caught my attention for a minute, and I wondered at the attraction that a dowd has for a certain type of man. I expected to see her walk out of her clothes—until I looked at her eyes.’</p>
<p>‘Hooks and eyes, surely,’ drawled Mrs. Mallowe.</p>
<p>‘Don’t be clever, Polly. You make my head ache. And round this hayrick stood a crowd of men—a positive crowd!’</p>
<p>‘Perhaps <i>they</i> also expected——‘</p>
<p>‘Polly, don’t be Rabelaisian!’</p>
<p>Mrs. Mallowe curled herself up comfortably on the sofa, and turned her attention to the sweets. She and Mrs. Hauksbee shared the same house at Simla; and these things befell two seasons after the matter of Otis Yeere, which has been already recorded.</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee stepped into the verandah and looked down upon the Mall, her forehead puckered with thought.</p>
<p>‘Hah!’ said Mrs. Hauksbee shortly. ‘Indeed!’</p>
<p>‘What is it?’ said Mrs. Mallowe sleepily.</p>
<p>‘That dowd and The Dancing Master—to whom I object.’</p>
<p>‘Why to The Dancing Master? He is a middle-aged gentleman, of reprobate and romantic tendencies, and tries to be a friend of mine.’</p>
<p>‘Then make up your mind to lose him. Dowds cling by nature, and I should imagine that this animal—how terrible her bonnet looks from above!—is specially clingsome.’</p>
<p>‘She is welcome to The Dancing Master so far as I am concerned. I never could take an interest in a monotonous liar. The frustrated aim of his life is to persuade people that he is a bachelor.’</p>
<p>‘O-oh! I think I’ve met that sort of man before. And isn’t he?’</p>
<p>‘No. He confided that to me a few days ago. Ugh! Some men ought to be killed.’</p>
<p>‘What happened then?’</p>
<p>‘He posed as the horror of horrors—a misunderstood man. Heaven knows the <i>femme incomprise</i> is sad enough and bad enough—but the other thing!’</p>
<p>‘And so fat too! I should have laughed in his face. Men seldom confide in me. How is it they come to you?’</p>
<p>‘For the sake of impressing me with their careers in the past. Protect me from men with confidences!’</p>
<p>‘And yet you encourage them?’</p>
<p>‘What can I do? They talk, I listen, and they vow that I am sympathetic. I know I always profess astonishment even when the plot is—of the most old possible.’</p>
<p>‘Yes. Men are so unblushingly explicit if they are once allowed to talk, whereas women’s confidences are full of reservations and fibs, except——’</p>
<p>‘When they go mad and babble of the Unutterabilities after a week’s acquaintance. Really, if you come to consider, we know a great deal more of men than of our own sex.’</p>
<p>‘And the extraordinary thing is that men will never believe it. They say we are trying to hide something.’</p>
<p>‘They are generally doing that on their own account. Alas! These chocolates pall upon me, and I haven’t eaten more than a dozen. I think I shall go to sleep.’</p>
<p>‘Then you’ll get fat, dear. If you took more exercise and a more intelligent interest in your neighbours you would——’</p>
<p>‘Be as much loved as Mrs. Hauksbee. You’re a darling in many ways, and I like you—you are not a woman’s woman—but <i>why</i> do you trouble yourself about mere human beings?’</p>
<p>‘Because in the absence of angels, who I am sure would be horribly dull, men and women are the most fascinating things in the whole wide world, lazy one. I am interested in The Dowd—I am interested in The Dancing Master—I am interested in the Hawley Boy—and I am interested in <i>you</i>.’</p>
<p>‘Why couple me with the Hawley Boy? He is your property.’</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 2</strong></p>
<p>‘Yes, and in his own guileless speech, I’m making a good thing out of him. When he is slightly more reformed, and has passed his Higher Standard, or whatever the authorities think fit to exact from him, I shall select a pretty little girl, the Holt girl, I think, and’—here she waved her hands airily—‘“whom Mrs. Hauksbee hath joined together let no man put asunder.” That’s all.’</p>
<p>‘And when you have yoked May Holt with the most notorious detrimental in Simla, and earned the undying hatred of Mamma Holt, what will you do with me, Dispenser of the Destinies of the Universe?’</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee dropped into a low chair in front of the fire, and, chin in hand, gazed long and steadfastly at Mrs. Mallowe.</p>
<p>‘I do not know,’ she said, shaking her head, ‘<i>what</i> I shall do with you, dear. It’s obviously impossible to marry you to some one else—your husband would object and the experiment might not be successful after all. I think I shall begin by preventing you from—what is it?—“sleeping on ale-house benches and snoring in the sun.”’</p>
<p>‘Don’t! I don’t like your quotations. They are so rude. Go to the Library and bring me new books.’</p>
<p>‘While you sleep? <i>No!</i> If you don’t come with me I shall spread your newest frock on my ’rickshaw-bow, and when any one asks me what I am doing, I shall say that I am going to Phelps’s to get it let out. I shall take care that Mrs. MacNamara sees me. Put your things on, there’s a good girl.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Mallowe groaned and obeyed, and the two went off to the Library, where they found Mrs. Delville and the man who went by the nick-name of The Dancing Master. By that time Mrs. Mallowe was awake and eloquent.</p>
<p>‘That is the Creature!’ said Mrs. Hauksbee, with the air of one pointing out a slug in the road.</p>
<p>‘No,’ said Mrs. Mallowe. ‘The man is the Creature. Ugh! Good-evening, Mr. Bent. I thought you were coming to tea this evening.’</p>
<p>‘Surely it was for to-morrow, was it not?’ answered The Dancing Master. ‘I understood &#8230; I fancied &#8230; I’m so sorry &#8230; How very unfortunate!’</p>
<p>But Mrs. Mallowe had passed on.</p>
<p>‘For the practised equivocator you said he was,’ murmured Mrs. Hauksbee, ‘he strikes <i>me</i> as a failure. Now wherefore should he have preferred a walk with The Dowd to tea with us? Elective affinities, I suppose—both grubby. Polly, I’d never forgive that woman as long as the world rolls.’</p>
<p>‘I forgive every woman everything,’ said Mrs. Mallowe. ‘He will be a sufficient punishment for her. What a common voice she has!’</p>
<p>Mrs. Delville’s voice was not pretty, her carriage was even less lovely, and her raiment was strikingly neglected. All these things Mrs. Mallowe noticed over the top of a magazine.</p>
<p>‘Now <i>what</i> is there in her?’ said Mrs. Hauksbee. ‘Do you see what I meant about the clothes falling off? If I were a man I would perish sooner than be seen with that rag-bag. And yet, she has good eyes, but—Oh!’</p>
<p>‘What is it?’</p>
<p>‘She doesn’t know how to use them! On my honour, she does not. Look! Oh look! Untidiness I can endure, but ignorance never! The woman’s a fool.’</p>
<p>‘Hsh! She’ll hear you.’</p>
<p>‘All the women in Simla are fools. She’ll think I mean some one else. Now she’s going out. What a thoroughly objectionable couple she and The Dancing Master make! Which reminds me. Do you suppose they’ll ever dance together?’</p>
<p>‘Wait and see. I don’t envy her the conversation of The Dancing Master—loathly man! His wife ought to be up here before long?’</p>
<p>‘Do you know anything about him?’</p>
<p>‘Only what he told me. It may be all a fiction. He married a girl bred in the country, I think, and, being an honourable, chivalrous soul, told me that he repented his bargain and sent her to her as often as possible—a person who has lived in the Doon since the memory of man and goes to Mussoorie when other people go Home. The wife is with her at present. So he says.’</p>
<p>‘Babies?’</p>
<p>‘One only, but he talks of his wife in a revolting way. I hated him for it. <i>He</i> thought he was being epigrammatic and brilliant.’</p>
<p>‘That is a vice peculiar to men. I dislike him because he is generally in the wake of some girl, disappointing the Eligibles. He will persecute May Holt no more, unless I am much mistaken.’</p>
<p>‘No. I think Mrs. Delville may occupy his attention for a while.’</p>
<p>‘Do you suppose she knows that he is the head of a family?’</p>
<p>‘Not from his lips. He swore me to eternal secrecy. Wherefore I tell you. Don’t you know that type of man?’</p>
<p>‘Not intimately, thank goodness! As a general rule, when a man begins to abuse his wife to me, I find that the Lord gives me wherewith to answer him according to his folly; and we part with a coolness between us. I laugh.’</p>
<p>‘I’m different. I’ve no sense of humour.’</p>
<p>‘Cultivate it, then. It has been my mainstay for more years than I care to think about. A well-educated sense of humour will save a woman when Religion, Training, and Home influences fail; and we may all need salvation sometimes.’</p>
<p>‘Do you suppose that the Delville woman has humour?’</p>
<p>‘Her dress bewrays her. How can a Thing who wears her <i>supplément</i> under her left arm have any notion of the fitness of things—much less their folly? If she discards The Dancing Master after having once seen him dance, I may respect her. Otherwise——’</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 3<br />
</strong></p>
<p>‘But are we not both assuming a great deal too much, dear? You saw the woman at Peliti’s—half an hour later you saw her walking with The Dancing Master—an hour later you met her here at the Library.’</p>
<p>‘Still with The Dancing Master, remember.’</p>
<p>‘Still with The Dancing Master, I admit, but why on the strength of that should you imagine——’</p>
<p>‘I imagine nothing. I have no imagination. I am only convinced that The Dancing Master is attracted to The Dowd because he is objectionable in every way and she in every other. If I know the man as you have described him, he holds his wife in slavery at present.’</p>
<p>‘She is twenty years younger than he.’</p>
<p>‘Poor wretch! And, in the end, after he has posed and swaggered and lied—he has a mouth under that ragged moustache simply made for lies—he will be rewarded according to his merits.’</p>
<p>‘I wonder what those really are,’ said Mrs. Mallowe.</p>
<p>But Mrs. Hauksbee, her face close to the shelf of the new books, was humming softly: ‘<i>What shall he have who killed the Deer?</i>’ She was a lady of unfettered speech.</p>
<p>One month later she announced her intention of calling upon Mrs. Delville. Both Mrs. Hauksbee and Mrs. Mallowe were in morning wrappers, and there was a great peace in the land.</p>
<p>‘I should go as I was,’ said Mrs. Mallowe. ‘It would be a delicate compliment to her style.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee studied herself in the glass.</p>
<p>‘Assuming for a moment that she ever darkened these doors, I should put on this robe, after all the others, to show her what a morning-wrapper ought to be. It might enliven her. As it is, I shall go in the dove-coloured—sweet emblem of youth and innocence—and shall put on my new gloves.’</p>
<p>‘If you really are going, dirty tan would be too good; and you know that dove-colour spots with the rain.’</p>
<p>‘I care not. I may make her envious. At least I shall try, though one cannot expect very much from a woman who puts a lace tucker into her habit.’</p>
<p>‘Just Heavens! When did she do that?’</p>
<p>‘Yesterday—riding with The Dancing Master. I met them at the back of Jakko, and the rain had made the lace lie down. To complete the effect, she was wearing an unclean <i>terai</i> with the elastic under her chin. I felt almost too well content to take the trouble to despise her.’</p>
<p>‘The Hawley Boy was riding with you. What did he think?’</p>
<p>‘Does a boy ever notice these things? Should I like him if he did? He stared in the rudest way, and just when I thought he had seen the elastic, he said, “There’s something very taking about that face.” I rebuked him on the spot. I don’t approve of boys being taken by faces.’</p>
<p>‘Other than your own. I shouldn’t be in the least surprised if the Hawley Boy immediately went to call.’</p>
<p>‘I forbade him. Let her be satisfied with The Dancing Master, and his wife when she comes up. I’m rather curious to see Mrs. Bent and the Delville woman together.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee departed and, at the end of an hour, returned slightly flushed.</p>
<p>‘There is no limit to the treachery of youth! I <i>ordered</i> the Hawley Boy, as he valued my patronage, not to call. The first person I stumble over—literally stumble over—in her poky, dark little drawing-room is, of course, the Hawley Boy. She kept us waiting ten minutes, and then emerged as though she had been tipped out of the dirtyclothes-basket. You know my way, dear, when I am at all put out. I was Superior, <i>crrrrushingly</i> Superior! ’Lifted my eyes to Heaven, and had heard of nothing—’dropped my eyes on the carpet and—“really didn’t know”—’played with my cardcase and “supposed so.” The Hawley Boy giggled like a girl, and I had to freeze him with scowls between the sentences.’</p>
<p>‘And she?’</p>
<p>‘She sat in a heap on the edge of a couch, and managed to convey the impression that she was suffering from stomach-ache, at the very least. It was all I could do not to ask after her symptoms. When I rose, she grunted just like a buffalo in the water—too lazy to move.’</p>
<p>‘Are you certain?——’</p>
<p>‘Am I blind, Polly? Laziness, sheer laziness, nothing else—or her garments were only constructed for sitting down in. I stayed for a quarter of an hour trying to penetrate the gloom, to guess what her surroundings were like, while she stuck out her tongue.’</p>
<p>‘Lu—<i>cy</i>!’</p>
<p>‘Well—I’ll withdraw the tongue, though I’m sure if she didn’t do it when I was in the room, she did the minute I was outside. At any rate, she lay in a lump and grunted. Ask the Hawley Boy, dear. I believe the grunts were meant for sentences, but she spoke so indistinctly that I can’t swear to it.’</p>
<p>‘You are incorrigible, simply.’</p>
<p>‘I am <i>not</i>! Treat me civilly, give me peace with honour, don’t put the only available seat facing the window, and a child may eat jam in my lap before Church. But I resent being grunted at. Wouldn’t you? Do you suppose that she communicates her views on life and love to The Dancing Master in a set of modulated “Grmphs”?’</p>
<p>‘You attach too much importance to The Dancing Master.’</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 4<br />
</strong></p>
<p>‘He came as we went, and The Dowd grew almost cordial at the sight of him. He smiled greasily, and moved about that darkened dog-kennel in a suspiciously familiar way.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t be uncharitable. Any sin but that I’ll forgive.’</p>
<p>‘Listen to the voice of History. I am only describing what I saw. He entered, the heap on the sofa revived slightly, and the Hawley Boy and I came away together. <i>He</i> is disillusioned, but I felt it my duty to lecture him severely for going there. And that’s all.’</p>
<p>‘Now for Pity’s sake leave the wretched creature and The Dancing Master alone. They never did you any harm.’</p>
<p>‘No harm? To dress as an example and a stumbling-block for half Simla, and then to find this Person who is dressed by the hand of God—not that I wish to disparage <i>Him</i> for a moment, but you know the <i>tikka dhurzie</i> way He attires those lilies of the field—this Person draws the eyes of men—and some of them nice men? It’s almost enough to make one discard clothing. I told the Hawley Boy so.’</p>
<p>‘And what did that sweet youth do?’</p>
<p>‘Turned shell-pink and looked across the far blue hills like a distressed cherub. <i>Am</i> I talking wildly, Polly? Let me say my say, and I shall be calm. Otherwise I may go abroad and disturb Simla with a few original reflections. Excepting always your own sweet self, there isn’t a single woman in the land who understands me when I am—what’s the word?’</p>
<p>‘<i>Tête-fêlée</i>,’ suggested Mrs. Mallowe.</p>
<p>‘Exactly! And now let us have tiffin. The demands of Society are exhausting, and as Mrs. Delville says——’ Here Mrs. Hauksbee, to the horror of the <i>khitmatgars</i>, lapsed into a series of grunts, while Mrs. Mallowe stared in lazy surprise.</p>
<p>‘“God gie us a guid conceit of oorselves,”’ said Mrs. Hauksbee piously, returning to her natural speech. ‘Now, in any other woman that would have been vulgar. I am consumed with curiosity to see Mrs. Bent. I expect complications.’</p>
<p>‘Woman of one idea,’ said Mrs. Mallowe shortly; ‘all complications are as old as the hills! I have lived through or near all—<i>all</i>—All!’</p>
<p>‘And yet do not understand that men and women never behave twice alike. I am old who was young—if ever I put my head in your lap, you dear, big sceptic, you will learn that my parting is gauze—but never, no <i>never</i>, have I lost my interest in men and women. Polly, I shall see this business out to the bitter end.’</p>
<p>‘I am going to sleep,’ said Mrs. Mallowe calmly. ‘I never interfere with men or women unless I am compelled,’ and she retired with dignity to her own room.</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee’s curiosity was not long left ungratified, for Mrs. Bent came up to Simla a few days after the conversation faithfully reported above, and pervaded the Mall by her husband’s side</p>
<p>‘Behold!’ said Mrs. Hauksbee, thoughtfully rubbing her nose. ‘That is the last link of the chain, if we omit the husband of the Delville, whoever he may be. Let me consider. The Bents and the Delvilles inhabit the same hotel; and the Delville is detested by the Waddy—do you know the Waddy?—who is almost as big a dowd. The Waddy also abominates the male Bent, for which, if her other sins do not weigh too heavily, she will eventually go to Heaven.’</p>
<p>‘Don’t be irreverent,’ said Mrs. Mallowe, ‘I like Mrs. Bent’s face.’</p>
<p>‘I am discussing the Waddy,’ returned Mrs. Hauksbee loftily. ‘The Waddy will take the female Bent apart, after having borrowed—yes!—everything that she can, from hairpins to babies’ bottles. Such, my dear, is life in a hotel. The Waddy will tell the female Bent facts and fictions about The Dancing Master and The Dowd.’</p>
<p>‘Lucy, I should like you better if you were not always looking into people’s back-bedrooms.’</p>
<p>‘Anybody can look into their front drawingrooms; and remember whatever I do, and whatever I look, I never talk—as the Waddy will. Let us hope that The Dancing Master’s greasy smile and manner of the pedagogue will soften the heart of that cow, his wife. If mouths speak truth, I should think that little Mrs. Bent could get very angry on occasion.’</p>
<p>‘But what reason has she for being angry?’</p>
<p>‘What reason! The Dancing Master in himself is a reason. How does it go? “If in his life some trivial errors fall, Look in his face and you’ll believe them all.” I am prepared to credit <i>any</i> evil of The Dancing Master, because I hate him so. And The Dowd is so disgustingly badly dressed——’</p>
<p>‘That she, too, is capable of every iniquity? I always prefer to believe the best of everybody. It saves so much trouble.’</p>
<p>‘Very good. I prefer to believe the worst. It saves useless expenditure of sympathy. And you may be quite certain that the Waddy believes with me.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Mallowe sighed and made no answer.</p>
<p>The conversation was holden after dinner while Mrs. Hauksbee was dressing for a dance.</p>
<p>‘I am too tired to go,’ pleaded Mrs. Mallowe, and Mrs. Hauksbee left her in peace till two in the morning, when she was aware of emphatic knocking at her door.</p>
<p>‘Don’t be <i>very</i> angry, dear,’ said Mrs. Hauksbee. ‘My idiot of an <i>ayah</i> has gone home, and, as I hope to sleep to-night, there isn’t a soul in the place to unlace me.’</p>
<p>‘Oh, this is too bad!’ said Mrs. Mallowe sulkily.</p>
<p>‘’Cant help it. I’m a lone, lorn grass-widow, dear, but I will <i>not</i> sleep in my stays. And such news too! Oh, <i>do</i> unlace me, there’s a darling! The Dowd—The Dancing Master—I and the Hawley Boy—You know the North verandah?’</p>
<p>‘How can I do anything if you spin round like this?’ protested Mrs. Mallowe, fumbling with the knot of the laces.</p>
<p>‘Oh, I forget. I must tell my tale without the aid of your eyes. Do you know you’ve lovely eyes, dear? Well, to begin with, I took the Hawley Boy to a <i>kala juggah</i>.’</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 5<br />
</strong></p>
<p>‘Did he want much taking?’</p>
<p>‘Lots! There was an arrangement of loose-boxes in <i>kanats</i>, and <i>she</i> was in the next one talking to <i>him</i>.’</p>
<p>‘Which? How? Explain.’</p>
<p>‘You know what I mean—The Dowd and The Dancing Master. We could hear every word, and we listened shamelessly—’specially the Hawley Boy. Polly, I quite love that woman!’</p>
<p>‘This is interesting. There! Now turn round. What happened?’</p>
<p>‘One moment. Ah—h! Blessed relief. I’ve been looking forward to taking them off for the last half-hour—which is ominous at my time of life. But, as I was saying, we listened and heard The Dowd drawl worse than ever. She drops her final g’s like a barmaid or a blue-blooded Aide-de-Camp. “Look he-ere, you’re gettin’ too fond o’ me,” she said, and The Dancing Master owned it was so in language that nearly made me ill. The Dowd reflected for a while. Then we heard her say, “Look he-ere, Mister Bent, why are you such an aw-ful liar?” I nearly exploded while The Dancing Master denied the charge. It seems that he never told her he was a married man.’</p>
<p>‘I said he wouldn’t.’</p>
<p>‘And she had taken this to heart, on personal grounds, I suppose. She drawled along for five minutes, reproaching him with his perfidy, and grew quite motherly. “Now you’ve got a nice little wife of your own—you have,” she said. “She’s ten times too good for a fat old man like you, and, look he-ere, you never told me a word about her, and I’ve been thinkin’ about it a good deal, and I think you’re a liar.” Wasn’t that delicious? The Dancing Master maundered and raved till the Hawley Boy suggested that he should burst in and beat him. His voice runs up into an impassioned squeak when he is afraid. The Dowd must be an extraordinary woman. She explained that had he been a bachelor she might not have objected to his devotion; but since he was a married man and the father of a very nice baby, she considered him a hypocrite, and this she repeated twice. She wound up her drawl with: “An’ I’m tellin’ you this because your wife is angry with me, an’ I hate quarrellin’ with any other woman, an’ I like your wife. You know how you have behaved for the last six weeks. You shouldn’t have done it, indeed you shouldn’t. You’re too old an’ too fat.” Can’t you imagine how The Dancing Master would wince at that! “Now go away,” she said. ‘’I don’t want to tell you what I think of you, because I think you are not nice. I’ll stay he-ere till the next dance begins.” Did you think that the creature had so much in her?’</p>
<p>‘I never studied her as closely as you did. It sounds unnatural. What happened?’</p>
<p>‘The Dancing Master attempted blandishment, reproof, jocularity, and the style of the Lord High Warden, and I had almost to pinch the Hawley Boy to make him keep quiet. She grunted at the end of each sentence and, in the end, <i>he</i> went away swearing to himself, quite like a man in a novel. He looked more objectionable than ever. I laughed. I love that woman in—spite of her clothes. And now I’m going to bed. What do you think of it?’</p>
<p>‘I shan’t begin to think till the morning,’ said Mrs. Mallowe, yawning. ‘Perhaps she spoke the truth. They <i>do</i> fly into it by accident sometimes.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee’s account of her eavesdropping was an ornate one, but truthful in the main. For reasons best known to herself, Mrs. ‘Shady’ Delville had turned upon Mr. Bent and rent him limb from limb, casting him away limp and disconcerted ere she withdrew the light of her eyes from him permanently. Being a man of resource, and anything but pleased in that he had been called both old and fat, he gave Mrs. Bent to understand that he had, during her absence in the Doon, been the victim of unceasing persecution at the hands of Mrs. Delville, and he told the tale so often and with such eloquence that he ended in believing it, while his wife marvelled at the manners and customs of ‘some women.’ When the situation showed signs of languishing, Mrs. Waddy was always on hand to wake the smouldering fires of suspicion in Mrs. Bent’s bosom and to contribute generally to the peace and comfort of the hotel. Mr. Bent’s life was not a happy one, for if Mrs. Waddy’s story were true, he was, argued his wife, untrustworthy to the last degree. If his own statement was true, his charms of manner and conversation were so great that he needed constant surveillance. And he received it, till he repented genuinely of his marriage and neglected his personal appearance. Mrs. Delville alone in the hotel was unchanged. She removed her chair some six paces towards the head of the table, and occasionally in the twilight ventured on timid overtures of friendship to Mrs. Bent, which were repulsed.</p>
<p>‘She does it for my sake,’ hinted the virtuous Bent.</p>
<p>‘A dangerous and designing woman,’ purred Mrs. Waddy.</p>
<p>Worst of all, every other hotel in Simla was full!</p>
<div align="center">
<h2><b>.     .     .     .     .</b></h2>
</div>
<p>‘Polly, are you afraid of diphtheria?’‘Of nothing in the world except small-pox, Diphtheria kills, but it doesn’t disfigure. Why do you ask?’</p>
<p>‘Because the Bent baby has got it, and the whole hotel is upside down in consequence. The Waddy has “set her five young on the rail” and fled. The Dancing Master fears for his precious throat, and that miserable little woman, his wife, has no notion of what ought to be done. She wanted to put it into a mustard bath—for croup!’</p>
<p>‘Where did you learn all this?’</p>
<p>‘Just now, on the Mall. Dr. Howlen told me. The manager of the hotel is abusing the Bents, and the Bents are abusing the manager. They <i>are</i> a feckless couple.’</p>
<p>‘Well. What’s on your mind?’</p>
<p>‘This; and I know it’s a grave thing to ask.</p>
<p>Would you seriously object to my bringing the child over here, with its mother?’</p>
<p>‘On the most strict understanding that we see nothing of the Dancing Master.’</p>
<p>‘He will be only too glad to stay away. Polly, you’re an angel. The woman really is at her wits’ end.’</p>
<p>‘And you know nothing about her, careless, and would hold her up to public scorn if it gave you a minute’s amusement.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 6<br />
</strong></p>
<p>Therefore you risk your life for the sake of her brat. No, Loo, <i>I</i>’m not the angel. I shall keep to my rooms and avoid her. But do as you please—only tell me why you do it.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee’s eyes softened; she looked out of the window and back into Mrs. Mallowe’s face.</p>
<p>‘I don’t know,’ said Mrs. Hauksbee simply.</p>
<p>‘You dear!’</p>
<p>‘Polly!—and for aught you knew you might have taken my fringe off. Never do that again without warning. Now we’ll get the rooms ready. I don’t suppose I shall be allowed to circulate in society for a month.’</p>
<p>‘And I also. Thank goodness I shall at last get all the sleep I want.’</p>
<p>Much to Mrs. Bent’s surprise she and the baby were brought over to the house almost before she knew where she was. Bent was devoutly and undisguisedly thankful, for he was afraid of the infection, and also hoped that a few weeks in the hotel alone with Mrs. Delville might lead to explanations. Mrs. Bent had thrown her jealousy to the winds in her fear for her child’s life.</p>
<p>‘We can give you good milk,’ said Mrs. Hauksbee to her, ’and our house is much nearer to the Doctor’s than the hotel, and you won’t feel as though you were living in a hostile camp. Where is the dear Mrs. Waddy? She seemed to be a particular friend of yours.’</p>
<p>‘They’ve all left me,’ said Mrs. Bent bitterly. ‘Mrs. Waddy went first. She said I ought to be ashamed of myself for introducing diseases there, and I am <i>sure</i> it wasn’t my fault that little Dora——’</p>
<p>‘How nice!’ cooed Mrs. Hauksbee. ‘The Waddy is an infectious disease herself—“more quickly caught than the plague and the taker runs presently mad.” I lived next door to her at the Elysium, three years ago. Now see, you won’t give us the <i>least</i> trouble, and I’ve ornamented all the house with sheets soaked in carbolic. It smells comforting, doesn’t it? Remember I’m always in call, and my <i>ayah’s</i> at your service when yours goes to her meals, and—and—if you cry I’ll never forgive you.’</p>
<p>Dora Bent occupied her mother’s unprofitable attention through the day and the night. The Doctor called thrice in the twenty-four hours, and the house reeked with the smell of the Condy’s Fluid, chlorine-water, and carbolic acid washes. Mrs. Mallowe kept to her own rooms she considered that she had made sufficient concessions in the cause of humanity—and Mrs. Hauksbee was more esteemed by the Doctor as a help in the sick-room than the half-distraught mother.</p>
<p>‘I know nothing of illness,’ said Mrs. Hauksbee to the Doctor. ‘Only tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.’</p>
<p>‘Keep that crazy woman from kissing the child, and let her have as little to do with the nursing as you possibly can,’ said the Doctor; ‘I’d turn her out of the sick-room, but that I honestly believe she’d die of anxiety. She is less than no good, and I depend on you and the <i>ayahs</i>, remember.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee accepted the responsibility, though it painted olive hollows under her eyes and forced her to her oldest dresses. Mrs. Bent clung to her with more than childlike faith.</p>
<p>‘I <i>know</i> you’ll make Dora well, won’t you?’ she said at least twenty times a day; and twenty times a day Mrs. Hauksbee answered valiantly, ‘Of course I will.’</p>
<p>But Dora did not improve, and the Doctor seemed to be always in the house.</p>
<p>‘There’s some danger of the thing taking a bad turn,’ he said; ‘I’ll come over between three and four in the morning to-morrow.’</p>
<p>‘Good gracious!’ said Mrs. Hauksbee. ‘He never told me what the turn would be! My education has been horribly neglected; and I have only this foolish mother-woman to fall back upon.’</p>
<p>The night wore through slowly, and Mrs. Hauksbee dozed in a chair by the fire. There was a dance at the Viceregal Lodge, and she dreamed of it till she was aware of Mrs. Bent’s anxious eyes staring into her own.</p>
<p>‘Wake up! Wake up! Do something!’ cried Mrs. Bent piteously. ‘Dora’s choking to death! Do you mean to let her die?’</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee jumped to her feet and bent over the bed. The child was fighting for breath, while the mother wrung her hands despairingly.</p>
<p>‘Oh, what can I do? What can you do? She won’t stay still! I can’t hold her. Why didn’t the Doctor say this was coming?’ screamed Mrs. Bent. ‘<i>Won’t</i> you help me? She’s dying!’</p>
<p>‘I—I’ve never seen a child die before!’ stammered Mrs. Hauksbee feebly, and then—let none blame her weakness after the strain of long watching—she broke down, and covered her face with her hands. The <i>ayahs</i> on the threshold snored peacefully.</p>
<p>There was a rattle of ’rickshaw wheels below, the clash of an opening door, a heavy step on the stairs, and Mrs. Delville entered to find Mrs. Bent screaming for the Doctor as she ran round the room. Mrs. Hauksbee, her hands to her ears, and her face buried in the chintz of a chair, was quivering with pain at each cry from the bed, and murmuring, ‘Thank God, I never bore a child! Oh! thank God, I never bore a child!’</p>
<p>Mrs. Delville looked at the bed for an instant, took Mrs. Bent by the shoulders, and said quietly, ‘Get me some caustic. Be quick.’</p>
<p>The mother obeyed mechanically. Mrs. Delville had thrown herself down by the side of the child and was opening its mouth.</p>
<p>‘Oh, you’re killing her!’ cried Mrs. Bent. ‘Where’s the Doctor? Leave her alone!’</p>
<p>Mrs. Delville made no reply for a minute, but busied herself with the child.</p>
<p>‘Now the caustic, and hold a lamp behind my shoulder. <i>Will</i> you do as you are told? The acid-bottle, if you don’t know what I mean,’ she said.</p>
<p>A second time Mrs. Delville bent over the child. Mrs. Hauksbee, her face still hidden, sobbed and shivered. One of the <i>ayahs</i> staggered sleepily into the room, yawning: ‘Doctor Sahib come.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Delville turned her head.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 7<br />
</strong></p>
<p>‘You’re only just in time,’ she said. ‘It was chokin’ her when I came, an’ I’ve burnt it.’</p>
<p>‘There was no sign of the membrane getting to the air-passages after the last steaming. It was the general weakness I feared,’ said the Doctor half to himself, and he whispered as he looked, ‘You’ve done what I should have been afraid to do without consultation.’</p>
<p>‘She was dyin’,’ said Mrs. Delville, under her breath. ‘Can you do anythin’? What a mercy it was I went to the dance!’</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee raised her head.</p>
<p>‘Is it all over?’ she gasped. ‘I’m useless—I’m worse than useless! What are <i>you</i> doing here?’</p>
<p>She stared at Mrs. Delville, and Mrs. Bent, realising for the first time who was the Goddess from the Machine, stared also.</p>
<p>Then Mrs. Delville made explanation, putting on a dirty long glove and smoothing a crumpled and ill-fitting ball-dress.</p>
<p>‘I was at the dance, an’ the Doctor was tellin’ me about your baby bein’ so ill. So I came away early, an’ your door was open, an’ I—I—lost my boy this way six months ago, an’ I’ve been tryin’ to forget it ever since, an’ I—I—I am very sorry for intrudin’ an’ anythin’ that has happened.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Bent was putting out the Doctor’s eye with a lamp as he stooped over Dora.</p>
<p>‘Take it away,’ said the Doctor. ‘I think the child will do, thanks to you, Mrs. Delville. <i>I</i> should have come too late, but, I assure you’—he was addressing himself to Mrs. Delville—‘I had not the faintest reason to expect this. The membrane must have grown like a mushroom. Will one of you help me, please?’</p>
<p>He had reason for the last sentence. Mrs. Hauksbee had thrown herself into Mrs. Delville’s arms, where she was weeping bitterly, and Mrs. Bent was unpicturesquely mixed up with both, while from the tangle came the sound of many sobs and much promiscuous kissing.</p>
<p>‘Good gracious! I’ve spoilt all your beautiful roses!’ said Mrs. Hauksbee, lifting her head from the lump of crushed gum and calico atrocities on Mrs. Delville’s shoulder and hurrying to the Doctor.</p>
<p>Mrs. Delville picked up her shawl, and slouched out of the room, mopping her eyes with the glove that she had not put on.</p>
<p>‘I always said she was more than a woman,’ sobbed Mrs. Hauksbee hysterically, ’and <i>that</i> proves it!’</p>
<div align="center">
<h2><b>.     .     .     .     .</b></h2>
</div>
<p>Six weeks later Mrs. Bent and Dora had returned to the hotel. Mrs. Hauksbee had come out of the Valley of Humiliation, had ceased to reproach herself for her collapse in an hour of need, and was even beginning to direct the affairs of the world as before.‘So nobody died, and everything went off as it should, and I kissed The Dowd, Polly. I feel <i>so</i> old. Does it show in my face?’</p>
<p>‘Kisses don’t as a rule, do they? Of course you know what the result of The Dowd’s providential arrival has been.’</p>
<p>‘They ought to build her a statue—only no sculptor dare copy those skirts.’</p>
<p>‘Ah!’ said Mrs. Mallowe quietly. ‘She has found another reward. The Dancing Master has been smirking through Simla, giving every one to understand that she came because of her undying love for him—for him—to save <i>his</i> child, and all Simla naturally believes this.’</p>
<p>‘But Mrs. Bent——’</p>
<p>‘Mrs. Bent believes it more than any one else. She won’t speak to The Dowd now. <i>Isn’t</i> The Dancing Master an angel?’</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee lifted up her voice and raged till bed-time. The doors of the two rooms stood open.</p>
<p>‘Polly,’ said a voice from the darkness, ‘what did that American-heiress-globe-trotter girl say last season when she was tipped out of her ’rickshaw turning a corner? Some absurd adjective that made the man who picked her up explode.’</p>
<p>‘“Paltry,”’ said Mrs. Mallowe. ‘Through her nose—like this—“Ha-ow pahltry!”’</p>
<p>‘Exactly,’ said the voice. ‘Ha-ow pahltry it all is!’</p>
<p>‘Which?’</p>
<p>‘Everything. Babies, Diphtheria, Mrs. Bent and The Dancing Master, I whooping in a chair, and The Dowd dropping in from the clouds. I wonder what the motive was—<i>all</i> the motives.’</p>
<p>‘Um!’</p>
<p>‘What do <i>you</i> think?’</p>
<p>‘Don’t ask me. Go to sleep.’</p>
</div>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">31397</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Supplementary Chapter</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/a-supplementary-chapter.htm</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[wa_admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 May 2021 10:20:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<guid isPermaLink="false">https://ks-demo3.web/tale/a-supplementary-chapter/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<strong>page 1 of 3 </strong> Shall I not one day remember thy Bower— One day when all days are one day to me? Thinking I stirred not and yet had the power, Yearning—ah, God, if ... <a title="A Supplementary Chapter" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/a-supplementary-chapter.htm" aria-label="Read more about A Supplementary Chapter">Read more</a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 1 of 3<br />
</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><small>Shall I not one day remember thy Bower—</small><br />
<small>One day when all days are one day to me?</small><br />
<small>Thinking I stirred not and yet had the power,</small><br />
<small>Yearning—ah, God, if again it might be!</small><br />
<em><small>—The Song of the Bower.</small></em>
</p>
<p>&nbsp;<br />
<b>THIS</b> is a base betrayal of confidence, but the sin is Mrs. Hauksbee’s and not mine.<br />
If you remember a certain foolish tale called “The Education of Otis Yeere,” you will not forget that Mrs. Mallowe laughed at the wrong time, which was a single, and at Mrs. Hauksbee, which was a double, offence. An experiment had gone wrong, and it seems that Mrs. Mallowe had said some quaint things about the experimentrix.</p>
<p>“I am not angry,” said Mrs. Hauksbee, “and I admire Polly in spite of her evil counsels to me. But I shall wait—I shall wait, like the frog footman in <i>Alice in Wonderland</i>, and Providence will deliver Polly into my hands. It always does if you wait.” And she departed to vex the soul of the “Hawley boy,” who says that she is singularly “<i>uninstruite</i> and childlike.” He got that first word out of a Ouida novel. I do not know what it means, but am prepared to make an affidavit before the Collector that it does not mean Mrs. Hauksbee.</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee’s ideas of waiting are very liberal. She told the “Hawley boy” that he dared not tell Mrs. Reiver that “she was an intellectual woman with a gift for attracting men,” and she offered another man two waltzes if he would repeat the same thing in the same ears. But he said: “Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes,” which means “Mistrust all waltzes except those you get for legitimate asking.”</p>
<p>The “Hawley boy” did as he was told because he believes in Mrs. Hauksbee. He was the instrument in the hand of a Higher Power, and he wore <i>jharun</i> coats, like “the scoriac rivers that roll their sulphurous torrents down Yahek, in the realms of the Boreal Pole,” that made your temples throb when seen early in the morning. I will introduce him to you some day if all goes well. He is worth knowing.</p>
<p>Unpleasant things have already been written about Mrs. Reiver in other places.</p>
<p>She was a person without invention. She used to get her ideas from the men she captured, and this led to some eccentric changes of character. For a month or two she would act <i>à la Madonna</i>, and try Theo for a change if she fancied Theo’s ways suited her beauty. Then she would attempt the dark and fiery Lilith, and so and so on, exactly as she had absorbed the new notion. But there was always Mrs. Reiver—hard, selfish, stupid Mrs. Reiver—at the back of each transformation. Mrs. Hauksbee christened her the Magic Lantern on account of this borrowed mutability. “It just depends upon the slide,” said Mrs. Hauksbee. “The case is the only permanent thing in the exhibition. But that, thank Heaven, is getting old,”</p>
<p>There was a Fancy Ball at Government House and Mrs. Reiver came attired in some sort of ’98 costume, with her hair pulled up to the top of her head, showing the clear outline on the back of the neck like the Récamier engravings. Mrs. Hauksbee had chosen to be loud, not to say vulgar, that evening, and went as The Black Death—a curious arrangement of barred velvet, black domino and flame-coloured satin puffery coming up to the neck and the wrists, with one of those shrieking keel-backed cicalas in the hair. The scream of the creature made people jump. It sounded so unearthly in a ballroom.</p>
<p>I heard her say to some one: “Let me introduce you to Madame Récamier,” and I saw a man dressed as Autolycus bowing to Mrs. Reiver, while The Black Death looked more than usually saintly. It was a very pleasant evening, and Autolycus and Madame Recamier—I heard her ask Autolycus who Madame Récamier was, by the way—danced together ever so much. Mrs. Hauksbee was in a meditative mood, but she laughed once or twice in the back of her throat, and that meant trouble.</p>
<p>Autolycus was Trewinnard, the man whom Mrs. Mallowe had told Mrs. Hauksbee about—the Platonic Paragon, as Mrs. Hauksbee called him. He was amiable, but his moustache hid his mouth, and so he did not explain himself all at once. If you stared at him, he turned his eyes away, and through the rest of the dinner kept looking at you to see whether you were looking again. He took stares as a tribute to his merits, which were generally known and recognised. When he played billiards he apologised at length between each bad stroke, and explained what would have happened if the red had been somewhere else, or the bearer had trimmed the third lamp, or the wind hadn’t made the door bang. Also he wriggled in his chair more than was becoming to one of his inches. Little men may wriggle and fidget without attracting notice. It doesn’t suit big-framed men. He was the Main Girder Boom of the Kutcha, Pukka, Bimdobust and Benaoti Department and corresponded direct with the Three Taped Bashaw. Every one knows what <i>that</i> means. The men in his own office said that where anything was to be gained, even temporarily, he would never hesitate for a moment over handing up a subordinate to be hanged and drawn and quartered. He didn’t back up his underlings, and for that reason they dreaded taking responsibility on their shoulders, and the strength of the Department was crippled.</p>
<p>A weak Department can, and often does, do a power of good work simply because its chief sees it through thick and thin. Mistakes may be bom of this policy, but it is safe and sounder than giving orders which may be read in two ways and reserving to yourself the right of interpretation according to subsequent failure or success. Offices prefer administration to diplomacy. They are very like Empires.</p>
<p>Hatchett of the Almirah and Thannicutch—a vicious little three-cornered Department that was always stamping on the toes of the Elect—had the fairest estimate of Trewinnard, when he said: “I don’t believe he is as good as he is.” They always quoted that verdict as an instance of the blind jealousy of the Uncovenanted, but Hatchett was quite right. Trewinnard was just as good and no better than Mrs. Mallowe could make him; and she had been engaged on the work for three years. Hatchett has a narrow-minded partiality for the more than naked—the anatomised Truth—but he can gauge a man.</p>
<p>Trewinnard had been spoilt by over-much petting, and the devil of vanity that rides nine hundred and ninety-nine men out of a thousand made him behave as he did. He had been too long one woman’s property; and that belief will sometimes drive a man to throw the best things in the world behind him, from rank perversity. Perhaps che only meant to stray temporarily and then return, but in arranging for this excursion he misimderstood both Mrs. Mallowe and Mrs. Reiver. The one made no sign, she would have died first; and the other—well, the high-falutin mindsome lay was her craze for the time being. She had never tried it before and several men had hinted that it would eminently become her. Trewinnard was in himself pleasant, with the great merit of belonging to somebody else. He was what they call “intellectual,” and vain to the marrow. Mrs. Reiver returned his lead in the first, and hopelessly out-trumped him in the second suit. Put down all that comes after this to Providence or The Black Death.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 2</strong></p>
<p>Trewimiard never realised how far he had fallen from his allegiance till Mrs. Reiver referred to some official matter that he had been telling her about as “ours.” He remembered then how that word had been sacred to Mrs. Mallowe and how she had asked his permission to use it. Opium is intoxicating, and so is whisky, but more intoxicating than either to a certain build of mind is the first occasion on which a woman—especially if she have asked leave for the “honour”—identifies herself with a man’s work. The second time is not so pleasant. The answer has been given before, and the treachery comes to the top and tastes coppery in the mouth.</p>
<p>Trewinnard swallowed the shame—he felt dimly that he was not doing Mrs. Reiver any great wrong by untruth—and told and told and continued to tell, for the snare of this form of open-heartedness is that no man, unless he be a consmnmate liar, knows where to stop. The office door of all others must be either open wide or shut tight with a <i>shaprassi</i> to keep off callers.</p>
<p>Mrs. Mallowe made no sign to show that she felt Trewinnard’s desertion till a piece of information that could only have come from one quarter ran about Simla like quicksilver. She met Trewinnard at a dinner. “Choose your <i>confidantes</i> better, Harold,” she whispered as she passed him in the drawing-room. He turned salmon-colour, and swore very hard to himself that Babu Durga Charan Laha must go—must go—must go. He almost believed in that grey-headed old oyster’s guilt.</p>
<p>And so another of those upside-down tragedies that we call a Simla Season wore through to the end—from the Birthday Ball to the “tripping” to Naldera and Kotghar. And fools gave feasts and wise men ate them, and they were bidden to the wedding and sat down to bake, and those who had nuts had no teeth and they staked the substance for the shadow, and carried coals to Newcastle, and in the dark all cats were grey, as it was in the days of the great Curé of Meudon.</p>
<p>Late in the year there developed itself a battle-royal between the K.P.B. and B. Department and the Almirah and Thannicutch. Three columns of this paper would be needed to supply you with the outlines of the difficulty; and then you would not be grateful. Hatchett snuffed the fray from afar and went into it with his teeth bared to the gums, while his Department stood behind him solid to a man. They believed in him, and their answer to the fury of men who detested him was: “Ah! But you’ll admit he’s d—d right in what he says.”</p>
<p>“The head of Trewinnard in a Government Resolution,” said Hatchett, and he told the <i>daftri</i> to put a new pad on his blotter, and smiled a bleak smile as he spread out his notes. Hatchett is a Thug in his systematic way of butchering a man’s reputation.</p>
<p>“What are you going to do?” asked Trewinnard’s Department. “Sit tight,” said Trewinnard, which was tantamount to saying “Lord knows.” The Department groaned and said: “Which of us poor beggars is to be Jonahed <i>this</i> time?” They knew Trewinnard’s vice.</p>
<p>The dispute was essentially not one for the K.P.B. and B. under its then direction to fight out. It should have been compromised, or at the worst sent up to the Supreme Government with a private and confidential note directing justice into the proper paths.</p>
<p>Some people say that the Supreme Government is the Devil. It is more like the Deep Sea. Anything that you throw into it disappears for weeks, and comes to light hacked and furred at the edges, crusted with weeds and shells and almost unrecognisable. The bold man who would dare to give it a file of love-letters would be amply rewarded. It would overlay them with original comments and marginal notes, and work them piecemeal into D. O. dockets. Few things, from a setter or a whirlpool to a sausage-machine or a hatching hen, are more interesting and peculiar than the Supreme Government.</p>
<p>“What shall we do?” said Trewinnard, who had fallen from grace into sin. “Fight,” said Mrs. Reiver, or words to that effect; and no one can say how far aimless desire to test her powers, and how far belief in the man she had brought to her feet prompted the judgment. Of the merits of the case she knew just as much as any <i>ayah</i>.</p>
<p>Then Mrs. Mallowe, upon an evil word that went through Simla, put on her visiting-garb and attired herself for the sacrifice, and went to call—to call upon Mrs. Reiver, knowing what the torture would be. From half-past twelve till twenty-five minutes to two she sat, her hand upon her cardcase, and let Mrs. Reiver stab at her, all for the sake of the information. Mrs. Reiver double-acted her part, but she played into Mrs. Mallowe’s hand by this defect. The assumptions of ownership, the little intentional slips, were overdone, and so also was the pretence of intimate knowledge. Mrs. Mallowe never winced. She repeated to herself: “And he has trusted this—this Thing. She knows nothing and she cares nothing, and she has digged this trap for him.” The main feature of the case was abundantly clear. Trewinnard, whose capacities Mrs. Mallowe knew to the utmost farthing, to whom public and departmental petting were as the breath of his delicately-cut nostrils—Trewinnard, with his nervous dread of dispraise, was to be pitted against the Paul de Cassagnac of the Almirah and Thannicutch—the unspeakable Hatchett, who fought with the venom of a woman and the skill of a Red Indian. Unless his cause was triply just, Trewinnard was already under the guiotine. and if he had been under this “Thing’s” dominance, small hope for the justice of his case. “Oh, why did I let him go without putting out a hand to fetch him back?” said Mrs. Mallowe, as she got into her ’rickshaw.</p>
<p>Now, <i>Tim</i>, her fox-terrier, is the only person who knows what Mrs. Mallowe did that afternoon, and as I found him loafing on the Mall in a very disconsolate condition and as he recognised me effusively and suggested going for a monkey-hunt—a thing he had never done before—my impression is that Mrs. Mallowe stayed at home till the light fell and thought. If she did this, it is of course hopeless to account for her actions. So you must fill in the gap for yourself.</p>
<p>That evening it rained heavily, and horses mired their riders. But not one of all the habits was so plastered with mud as the habit of Mrs. Mallowe when she pulled up under the scrub oaks and sent in her name by the astounded bearer to Trewinnard. “Folly! downright folly!” she said as she sat in the steam of the dripping horse. “But it’s all a horrible jumble together.”</p>
<p>It may be as well to mention that ladies do not usually call upon bachelors at their houses. Bachelors would scream and run away. Trewinnard came into the light of the verandah with a nervous, undecided smile upon his lips, and he wished—in the bottomless bottom of his bad heart—he wished that Mrs. Reiver was there to see. A minute later he was profoundly glad that he was alone, for Mrs. Mallowe was standing in his office room and calling him names that reflected no credit on his intellect. “What have you done? What have you said?’ she asked. “Be quick! Be <i>quick!</i> And have the horse led round to the back. Can you speak? What have you written? Show me!”</p>
<p>She had interrupted him in the middle of what he was pleased to call his reply; for Hatchett’s first shell had already fallen in the camp. He stood back and offered her the seat at the <i>duftar</i> table. Her elbow left a great wet stain on the baize, for she was soaked through and through.</p>
<p>“Say exactly how the matter stands,” she said, and laughed a weak little laugh, which emboldened Trewinnard to say loftily: “Pardon me, Mrs. Mallowe, but I hardly recognise your——’</p>
<p>“Idiot! Will you show me the papers, will you speak, and will you be quick?”</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 3<br />
</strong></p>
<p>Her most reverent admirers would hardly have recognised the soft-spoken, slow-gestured, quiet-eyed Mrs. Mallowe in the indignant woman who was drununing on Trewinnard’s desk. He submitted to the voice of authority, as he had submitted in the old times, and explained as quickly as might be the cause of the war between the two Departments. In conclusion he handed over the rough sheets of his reply. As she read he watched her with the expectant sickly half-smile of the unaccustomed writer who is doubtful of the success of his work. And another smile followed, but died away as he saw Mrs. Mallowe read his production. All the old phrases out of which she had so carefully drilled him had returned; the unpruned fluency of diction was there, the more luxuriant for being so long cut back; the reckless riotousness of assertion that sacrificed all—even the vital truth that Hatchett would be so sure to take advantage of—for the sake of scoring a point, was there; and through and between every line ran the weak, wilful vanity of the man. Mrs. Mallowe’s mouth hardened.</p>
<p>“And you wrote this!” she said. Then to herself: “<i>He</i> wrote this!”</p>
<p>Trewinnard stepped forward with a gesture habitual to him when he wished to explain. Mrs. Reiver had never asked for explanations. She had told him that all his ways were perfect. Therefore he loved her.</p>
<p>Mrs. Mallowe tore up the papers one by one, saying as she did so: “<i>You</i> were going to cross swords with Hatchett. Do you know your own strength? Oh, Harold, Harold, it is <i>too</i> pitiable! I thought—I thought——” Then the great anger that had been growing in her broke out, and she cried: “Oh, you fool! You blind, blind, <i>blind</i>, trumpery fool! Why do I help you? Why do I have anything to do with you? You miserable man! Sit down and write as I dictate. Quickly! And I had chosen <i>you</i> out of a hundred other <i>men!</i> Write! It is a terrible thing to be found out by a mere unseeing male—Thackeray has said it. It is worse, far worse, to be found out by a woman, and in that hour after long years to discover her worth. For ten minutes Trewinnard’s pen scratched across the paper, and Mrs. Mallowe spoke. “And that is all,” she said bitterly. “As you value yourself—your noble, honourable, modest self—keep within that.”</p>
<p>But that was not all—by any means. At least as far as Trewinnard was concerned.</p>
<p>He rose from his chair and delivered his soul of many mad and futile thoughts—such things as a man babbles when he is deserted of the gods, has missed his hold upon the latch-door of Opportunity—and cannot see that the ways are shut. Mrs. Mallowe bore with him to the end, and he stood before her—no enviable creature to look upon.</p>
<p>“A cur as well as a fool!” she said. “Will you be good enough to tell them to bring my horse? I do not trust to your honour—you have none—but I believe that your sense of shame will keep you from speaking of my visit.”</p>
<p>So he was left in the verandah crying “Come back” like a distracted guinea-fowl.</p>
<p align="center"><span class="h2"><b>.     .     .     .     .</b></span></p>
<p>“He’s done us in the eye,” grunted Hatchett as he perused the K.P.B. and B. reply. “Look at the cunning of the brute in shifting the issue on to India in that carneying, blarneying way! Only wait until I can get my knife into him again. I’ll stop every bolt-hole before the hunt begins.”</p>
<p align="center"><span class="h2"><b>.     .     .     .     .</b></span></p>
<p>Oh, I believe I have forgotten to mention the success of Mrs. Hauksbee’s revenge. It was so brilliant and overwhelming that she had to cry in Mrs. Mallowe’s arms for the better part of half an hour; and Mrs. Mallowe was just as bad, though she thanked Mrs. Hauksbee several times in the course of the interview, and Mrs. Hauksbee said that she would repent and reform, and Mrs. Mallowe said: “Hush, dear, hushl I don’t think either of us had anything to be proud of.” And Mrs. Hauksbee said: “Oh, but I didn’t <i>mean</i> it, Polly, I didn’t <i>mean</i> itl” And I stood with my hat in my hand trying to make two very indignant ladies imderstand that the bearer really <i>had</i> given me “<i>salaam bolta</i>.”</p>
<p>That was an evil quarter minute.</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">9184</post-id>	</item>
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		<title>A Wayside Comedy</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/a-wayside-comedy.htm</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[John Radcliffe]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 May 2021 09:17:44 +0000</pubDate>
				<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/?post_type=tale&#038;p=31887</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<strong>page 1 of 4 </strong> Because to every purpose there is time and judgment, therefore the misery of man is great upon him. <em> —Ecclesiastes. viii. 6.</em> <b>FATE</b> and the Government of India have turned ... <a title="A Wayside Comedy" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/a-wayside-comedy.htm" aria-label="Read more about A Wayside Comedy">Read more</a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 1 of 4<br />
</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Because to every purpose there is time and judgment, therefore the misery of man is great upon him.<br />
<em> —Ecclesiastes. viii. 6.</em></span></p>
<div id="leftmargin">
<p><b>FATE</b> and the Government of India have turned the Station of Kashima into a prison; and, because there is no help for the poor souls who are now lying there in torment, I write this story, praying that the Government of India may be moved to scatter the European population to the four winds.Kashima is bounded on all sides by the rocktipped circle of the Dosehri hills. In Spring, it is ablaze with roses; in Summer, the roses die and the hot winds blow from the hills; in Autumn, the white mists from the <i>jhils</i> cover the place as with water, and in Winter the frosts nip everything young and tender to earth-level. There is but one view in Kashima a stretch of perfectly flat pasture and plough-land, running up to the gray-blue scrub of the Dosehri hills.</p>
<p>There are no amusements, except snipe and tiger shooting; but the tigers have been long since hunted from their lairs in the rock-caves, and the snipe only come once a year. Narkarra—one hundred and forty-three miles by road—is the nearest station to Kashima. But Kashima never goes to Narkarra, where there are at least twelve English people. It stays within the circle of the Dosehri hills.</p>
<p>All Kashima acquits Mrs. Vansuythen of any intention to do harm; but all Kashima knows that she, and she alone, brought about their pain.</p>
<p>Boulte, the Engineer, Mrs. Boulte, and Captain Kurrell know this. They are the English population of Kashima, if we except Major Vansuythen, who is of no importance whatever, and Mrs. Vansuythen, who is the most important of all.</p>
<p>You must remember, though you will not understand, that all laws weaken in a small and hidden community where there is no public opinion. When a man is absolutely alone in a Station he runs a certain risk of falling into evil ways. This risk is multiplied by every addition to the population up to twelve—the Jury-number. After that, fear and consequent restraint begin, and human action becomes less grotesquely jerky.</p>
<p>There was deep peace in Kashima till Mrs. Vansuythen arrived. She was a charming woman, every one said so everywhere; and she charmed every one. In spite of this, or, perhaps, because of this, since Fate is so perverse, she cared only for one man, and he was Major Vansuythen. Had she been plain or stupid, this matter would have been intelligible to Kashima. But she was a fair woman, with very still gray eyes, the colour of a lake just before the light of the sun touches it. No man who had seen those eyes could, later on, explain what fashion of woman she was to look upon. The eyes dazzled him. Her own sex said that she was ‘not bad-looking, but spoilt by pretending to be so grave.’ And yet her gravity was natural. It was not her habit to smile. She merely went through life, looking at those who passed; and the women objected while the men fell down and worshipped.</p>
<p>She knows and is deeply sorry for the evil she has done to Kashima; but Major Vansuythen cannot understand why Mrs. Boulte does not drop in to afternoon tea at least three times a week. ‘When there are only two women in one Station, they ought to see a great deal of each other,’ says Major Vansuythen.</p>
<p>Long and long before ever Mrs. Vansuythen came out of those far-away places where there is society and amusement, Kurrell had discovered that Mrs. Boulte was the one woman in the world for him and—you dare not blame them. Kashima was as out of the world as Heaven or the Other Place, and the Dosehri hills kept their secret well. Boulte had no concern in the matter. He was in camp for a fortnight at a time. He was a hard, heavy man, and neither Mrs. Boulte nor Kurrell pitied him. They had all Kashima and each other for their very, very own; and Kashima was the Garden of Eden in those days. When Boulte returned from his wanderings he would slap Kurrell between the shoulders and call him ‘old fellow,’ and the three would dine together. Kashima was happy then when the judgment of God seemed almost as distant as Narkarra or the railway that ran down to the sea. But the Government sent Major Vansuythen to Kashima, and with him came his wife.</p>
<p>The etiquette of Kashima is much the same as that of a desert island. When a stranger is cast away there, all hands go down to the shore to make him welcome. Kashima assembled at the masonry platform close to the Narkarra Road, and spread tea for the Vansuythens. That ceremony was reckoned a formal call, and made them free of the Station, its rights and privileges. When the Vansuythens settled down they gave a tiny house-warming to all Kashima; and that made Kashima free of their house, according to the immemorial usage of the Station.</p>
<p>Then the Rains came, when no one could go into camp, and the Narkarra Road was washed away by the Kasun River, and in the cup-like pastures of Kashima the cattle waded knee-deep. The clouds dropped down from the Dosehri hills and covered everything.</p>
<p>At the end of the Rains Boulte’s manner towards his wife changed and became demonstratively affectionate. They had been married twelve years, and the change startled Mrs. Boulte, who hated her husband with the hate of a woman who has met with nothing but kindness from her mate, and, in the teeth of this kindness, has done him a great wrong. Moreover, she had her own trouble to fight with her watch to keep over her own property, Kurrell. For two months the Rains had hidden the Dosehri hills and many other things besides; but, when they lifted, they showed Mrs. Boulte that her man among men, her Ted—for she called him Ted in the old days when Boulte was out of earshot—was slipping the links of the allegiance.</p>
<p>‘The Vansuythen Woman has taken him,’ Mrs. Boulte said to herself; and when Boulte was away, wept over her belief, in the face of the over-vehement blandishments of Ted. Sorrow in Kashima is as fortunate as Love because there is nothing to weaken it save the flight of Time. Mrs. Boulte had never breathed her suspicion to Kurrell because she was not certain; and her nature led her to be very certain before she took steps in any direction. That is why she behaved as she did.</p>
<p>Boulte came into the house one evening, and leaned against the door-posts of the drawing-room, chewing his moustache. Mrs. Boulte was putting some flowers into a vase. There is a pretence of civilisation even in Kashima.</p>
<p>‘Little woman,’ said Boulte quietly, ‘do you care for me?’</p>
<p>‘Immensely,’ said she, with a laugh. ‘Can you ask it?’</p>
<p>‘But I’m serious,’ said Boulte. ‘<i>Do</i> you care for me?’</p>
<p>Mrs. Boulte dropped the flowers, and turned round quickly. ‘Do you want an honest answer?’</p>
<p>‘Ye-es, I’ve asked for it.’</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 2</strong></p>
<p>Mrs. Boulte spoke in a low, even voice for five minutes, very distinctly, that there might be no misunderstanding her meaning. When Samson broke the pillars of Gaza, he did a little thing, and one not to be compared to the deliberate pulling down of a woman’s homestead about her own ears. There was no wise female friend to advise Mrs. Boulte, the singularly cautious wife, to hold her hand. She struck at Boulte’s heart, because her own was sick with suspicion of Kurrell, and worn out with the long strain of watching alone through the Rains. There was no plan or purpose in her speaking. The sentences made themselves; and Boulte listened, leaning against the door-post with his hands in his pockets. When all was over, and Mrs. Boulte began to breathe through her nose before breaking out into tears, he laughed and stared straight in front of him at the Dosehri hills.</p>
<p>‘Is that all?’ he said. ‘Thanks, I only wanted to know, you know.’</p>
<p>‘What are you going to do?’ said the woman, between her sobs.</p>
<p>‘Do! Nothing. What should I do? Kill Kurrell, or send you Home, or apply for leave to get a divorce? It’s two days’ <i>dâk</i> into Narkarra.’ He laughed again and went on: ‘I’ll tell you what <i>you</i> can do. You can ask Kurrell to dinner tomorrow—no, on Thursday, that will allow you time to pack—and you can bolt with him. I give you my word I won’t follow.’</p>
<p>He took up his helmet and went out of the room, and Mrs. Boulte sat till the moonlight streaked the floor, thinking and thinking and thinking. She had done her best upon the spur of the moment to pull the house down; but it would not fall. Moreover, she could not understand her husband, and she was afraid. Then the folly of her useless truthfulness struck her, and she was ashamed to write to Kurrell, saying, ‘I have gone mad and told everything. My husband says that I am free to elope with you. Get a dâk for Thursday, and we will fly after dinner.’ There was a cold-bloodedness about that procedure which did not appeal to her. So she sat still in her own house and thought.</p>
<p>At dinner-time Boulte came back from his walk, white and worn and haggard, and the woman was touched at his distress. As the evening wore on she muttered some expression of sorrow, something approaching to contrition. Boulte came out of a brown study and said, ‘Oh, <i>that</i>! I wasn’t thinking about that. By the way, what does Kurrell say to the elopement?’</p>
<p>‘I haven’t seen him,’ said Mrs. Boulte. ‘Good God, is that all?’</p>
<p>But Boulte was not listening and her sentence ended in a gulp.</p>
<p>The next day brought no comfort to Mrs. Boulte, for Kurrell did not appear, and the new lift that she, in the five minutes’ madness of the previous evening, had hoped to build out of the ruins of the old, seemed to be no nearer.</p>
<p>Boulte ate his breakfast, advised her to see her Arab pony fed in the verandah, and went out. The morning wore through, and at mid-day the tension became unendurable. Mrs. Boulte could not cry. She had finished her crying in the night, and now she did not want to be left alone. Perhaps the Vansuythen Woman would talk to her; and, since talking opens the heart, perhaps there might be some comfort to be found in her company. She was the only other woman in the Station.</p>
<p>In Kashima there are no regular calling-hours. Every one can drop in upon every one else at pleasure. Mrs. Boulte put on a big <i>terai</i> hat, and walked across to the Vansuythens’ house to borrow last week’s <i>Queen</i>. The two compounds touched, and instead of going up the drive, she crossed through the gap in the cactus-hedge, entering the house from the back. As she passed through the dining-room, she heard, behind the <i>purdah</i> that cloaked the drawing-room door, her husband’s voice, saying:—</p>
<p>‘But on my Honour! On my Soul and Honour, I tell you she doesn’t care for me. She told me so last night. I would have told you then if Vansuythen hadn’t been with you. If it is for <i>her</i> sake that you’ll have nothing to say to me, you can make your mind easy. It’s Kurrell——’</p>
<p>‘What?’ said Mrs. Vansuythen, with a hysterical little laugh. ‘Kurrell! Oh, it can’t be! You two must have made some horrible mistake. Perhaps you—you lost your temper, or misunderstood, or something. Things <i>can’t</i> be as wrong as you say.’</p>
<p>Mrs. Vansuythen had shifted her defence to avoid the man’s pleading, and was desperately trying to keep him to a side-issue.</p>
<p>‘There must be some mistake,’ she insisted, ’and it can be all put right again.’</p>
<p>Boulte laughed grimly.</p>
<p>‘It can’t be Captain Kurrell! He told me that he had never taken the least—the least interest in your wife, Mr. Boulte. Oh, <i>do</i> listen! He said he had not. He swore he had not,’ said Mrs. Vansuythen.</p>
<p>The <i>purdah</i> rustled, and the speech was cut short by the entry of a little thin woman, with big rings round her eyes. Mrs. Vansuythen stood up with a gasp.</p>
<p>‘What was that you said?’ asked Mrs. Boulte. ‘Never mind that man. What did Ted say to you? What did he say to you? What did he say to you?’</p>
<p>Mrs. Vansuythen sat down helplessly on the sofa, overborne by the trouble of her questioner.</p>
<p>‘He said—I can’t remember exactly what he said—but I understood him to say—that is—— But, really, Mrs. Boulte, isn’t it rather a strange question?’</p>
<p>‘<i>Will</i> you tell me what he said?’ repeated Mrs. Boulte. Even a tiger will fly before a bear robbed of her whelps, and Mrs. Vansuythen was only an ordinarily good woman. She began in a sort of desperation: ‘Well, he said that the never cared for you at all, and, of course, there was not the least reason why he should have, and—and—that was all.’</p>
<p>‘You said he <i>swore</i> he had not cared for me. Was that true?’</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ said Mrs. Vansuythen very softly.</p>
<p>Mrs. Boulte wavered for an instant where she stood, and then fell forward fainting.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 3<br />
</strong></p>
<p>‘What did I tell you?’ said Boulte, as though the conversation had been unbroken. ‘You can see for yourself. She cares for <i>him</i>.’ The light began to break into his dull mind, and he went on ‘And he—what was <i>he</i> saying to you?’</p>
<p>But Mrs. Vansuythen, with no heart for explanations or impassioned protestations, was kneeling over Mrs. Boulte.</p>
<p>‘Oh, you brute!’ she cried. ‘Are <i>all</i> men like this? Help me to get her into my room—and her face is cut against the table. Oh, <i>will</i> you be quiet, and help me to carry her? I hate you, and I hate Captain Kurrell. Lift her up carefully, and now—go! Go away!’</p>
<p>Boulte carried his wife into Mrs. Vansuythen’s bedroom, and departed before the storm of that lady’s wrath and disgust, impenitent and burning with jealousy. Kurrell had been making love to Mrs. Vansuythen—would do Vansuythen as great a wrong as he had done Boulte, who caught himself considering whether Mrs. Vansuythen would faint if she discovered that the man she loved had forsworn her.</p>
<p>In the middle of these meditations, Kurrell came cantering along the road and pulled up with a cheery ‘Good—mornin’. ‘Been mashing Mrs. Vansuythen as usual, eh? Bad thing for a sober, married man, that. What will Mrs. Boulte say?’</p>
<p>Boulte raised his head and said slowly, ‘Oh, you liar!’</p>
<p>Kurrell’s face changed. ‘What’s that?’ he asked quickly.</p>
<p>‘Nothing much,’ said Boulte. ‘Has my wife told you that you two are free to go off whenever you please? She has been good enough to explain the situation to me. You’ve been a true friend to me, Kurrell—old man—haven’t you?’</p>
<p>Kurrell groaned, and tried to frame some sort of idiotic sentence about being willing to give ‘satisfaction.’ But his interest in the woman was dead, had died out in the Rains, and, mentally, he was abusing her for her amazing indiscretion. It would have been so easy to have broken off the thing gently and by degrees, and now he was saddled with——Boulte’s voice recalled him.</p>
<p>‘I don’t think I should get any satisfaction from killing you, and I’m pretty sure you’d get none from killing me.’</p>
<p>Then in a querulous tone, ludicrously disproportioned to his wrongs, Boulte added:—</p>
<p>‘’Seems rather a pity that you haven’t the decency to keep to the woman, now you’ve got her. You’ve been a true friend to <i>her</i> too, haven’t you?’</p>
<p>Kurrell stared long and gravely. The situation was getting beyond him.</p>
<p>‘What do you mean?’ he said.</p>
<p>Boulte answered, more to himself than the questioner: ‘My wife came over to Mrs. Vansuythen’s just now; and it seems you’d been telling Mrs. Vansuythen that you’d never cared for Emma. I suppose you lied, as usual. What had Mrs. Vansuythen to do with you, or you with her? Try to speak the truth for once in a way.’</p>
<p>Kurrell took the double insult without wincing, and replied by another question: ‘Go on. What happened?’</p>
<p>‘Emma fainted,’ said Boulte simply. ‘But, look here, what had you been saying to Mrs. Vansuythen?’</p>
<p>Kurrell laughed. Mrs. Boulte had, with unbridled tongue, made havoc of his plans; and he could at least retaliate by hurting the man in whose eyes he was humiliated and shown dishonourable.</p>
<p>‘Said to her? What <i>does</i> a man tell a lie like that for? I suppose I said pretty much what you’ve said, unless I’m a good deal mistaken.’</p>
<p>‘I spoke the truth,’ said Boulte, again more to himself than Kurrell. ‘Emma told me she hated me. She has no right in me.’</p>
<p>‘No! I suppose not. You’re only her husband, y’know. And what did Mrs. Vansuythen say after you had laid your disengaged heart at her feet?’</p>
<p>Kurrell felt almost virtuous as he put the question.</p>
<p>‘I don’t think that matters,’ Boulte replied; ’and it doesn’t concern you.’</p>
<p>‘But it does! I tell you it does’—began Kurrell shamelessly.</p>
<p>The sentence was cut by a roar of laughter from Boulte’s lips. Kurrell was silent for an instant, and then he, too, laughed—laughed long and loudly, rocking in his saddle. It was an unpleasant sound—the mirthless mirth of these men on the long white line of the Narkarra Road. There were no strangers in Kashima, or they might have thought that captivity within the Dosehri hills had driven half the European population mad. The laughter ended abruptly, and Kurrell was the first to speak.</p>
<p>‘Well, what are you going to do?’</p>
<p>Boulte looked up the road, and at the hills. ‘Nothing,’ said he quietly; ‘what’s the use? It’s too ghastly for anything. We must let the old life go on. I can only call you a hound and a liar, and I can’t go on calling you names for ever. Besides which, I don’t feel that I’m much better. We can’t get out of this place. What <i>is</i> there to do?’</p>
<p>Kurrell looked round the rat-pit of Kashima and made no reply. The injured husband took up the wondrous tale.</p>
<p>‘Ride on, and speak to Emma if you want to. God knows <i>I</i> don’t care what you do.’</p>
<p>He walked forward, and left Kurrell gazing blankly after him. Kurrell did not ride on either to see Mrs. Boulte or Mrs. Vansuythen. He sat in his saddle and thought, while his pony grazed by the roadside.</p>
<p>The whir of approaching wheels roused him. Mrs. Vansuythen was driving home Mrs. Boulte, white and wan, with a cut on her forehead.</p>
<p>‘Stop, please,’ said Mrs. Boulte, ‘I want to speak to Ted.’</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 4<br />
</strong></p>
<p>Mrs. Vansuythen obeyed, but as Mrs. Boulte leaned forward, putting her hand upon the splashboard of the dog-cart, Kurrell spoke.</p>
<p>‘I’ve seen your husband, Mrs. Boulte.’</p>
<p>There was no necessity for any further explanation. The man’s eyes were fixed, not upon Mrs. Boulte, but her companion. Mrs. Boulte saw the look.</p>
<p>‘Speak to him!’ she pleaded, turning to the woman at her side. ‘Oh, speak to him! Tell him what you told me just now. Tell him you hate him. Tell him you hate him!’</p>
<p>She bent forward and wept bitterly, while the <i>sais</i>, impassive, went forward to hold the horse. Mrs. Vansuythen turned scarlet and dropped the reins. She wished to be no party to such unholy explanations.</p>
<p>‘I’ve nothing to do with it,’ she began coldly; but Mrs. Boulte’s sobs overcame her, and she addressed herself to the man. ‘I don’t know what I am to say, Captain Kurrell. I don’t know what I can call you. I think you’ve—you’ve behaved abominably, and she has cut her forehead terribly against the table.’</p>
<p>‘It doesn’t hurt. It isn’t anything,’ said Mrs. Boulte feebly. ‘<i>That</i> doesn’t matter. Tell him what you told me. Say you don’t care for him. Oh, Ted, <i>won’t</i> you believe her?’</p>
<p>‘Mrs. Boulte has made me understand that you were—that you were fond of her once, upon a time,’ went on Mrs. Vansuythen.</p>
<p>‘Well!’ said Kurrell brutally. ‘It seems to me that Mrs. Boulte had better be fond of her own husband first.’</p>
<p>‘Stop!’ said Mrs. Vansuythen. ‘Hear me first. I don’t care—I don’t want to know anything about you and Mrs. Boulte; but I want <i>you</i> to know that I hate you, that I think you are a cur, and that I’ll never, <i>never</i> speak to you again. Oh, I don’t dare to say what I think of you, you—man!’</p>
<p>‘I want to speak to Ted,’ moaned Mrs. Boulte, but the dog-cart rattled on, and Kurrell was left on the road, shamed, and boiling with wrath against Mrs. Boulte.</p>
<p>He waited till Mrs. Vansuythen was driving back to her own house, and, she being freed from the embarrassment of Mrs. Boulte’s presence, learned for the second time her opinion of himself and his actions.</p>
<p>In the evenings it was the wont of all Kashima to meet at the platform on the Narkarra Road, to drink tea and discuss the trivialities of the day. Major Vansuythen and his wife found themselves alone at the gathering-place for almost the first time in their remembrance; and the cheery Major, in the teeth of his wife’s remarkably reasonable suggestion that the rest of the Station might be sick, insisted upon driving round to the two bungalows and unearthing the population.</p>
<p>‘Sitting in the twilight!’ said he, with great indignation, to the Boultes. ‘That’ll never do! Hang it all, we’re one family here! You <i>must</i> come out, and so must Kurrell. I’ll make him bring his banjo.’</p>
<p>So great is the power of honest simplicity and a good digestion over guilty consciences that all Kashima did turn out, even down to the banjo; and the Major embraced the company in one expansive grin. As he grinned, Mrs. Vansuythen raised her eyes for an instant and looked at all Kashima. Her meaning was clear. Major Vansuythen would never know anything. He was to be the outsider in that happy family whose cage was the Dosehri hills.</p>
<p>‘You’re singing villainously out of tune, Kurrell,’ said the Major truthfully. ‘Pass me that banjo.’</p>
<p>And he sang in excruciating-wise till the stars came out and all Kashima went to dinner.</p>
<div align="center">
<h2><b>.     .     .     .     .</b></h2>
</div>
<p>That was the beginning of the New Life of Kashima—the life that Mrs. Boulte made when her tongue was loosened in the twilight.Mrs. Vansuythen has never told the Major; and since he insists upon keeping up a burdensome geniality, she has been compelled to break her vow of not speaking to Kurrell. This speech, which must of necessity preserve the semblance of politeness and interest, serves admirably to keep alight the flame of jealousy and dull hatred in Boulte’s bosom, as it awakens the same passions in his wife’s heart. Mrs. Boulte hates Mrs. Vansuythen because she has taken Ted from her, and, in some curious fashion, hates her because Mrs. Vansuythen—and here the wife’s eyes see far more clearly than the husband’s—detests Ted. And Ted—that gallant captain and honourable man—knows now that it is possible to hate a woman once loved, to the verge of wishing to silence her for ever with blows. Above all, is he shocked that Mrs. Boulte cannot see the error of her ways.</p>
<p>Boulte and he go out tiger-shooting together in all friendship. Boulte has put their relationship on a most satisfactory footing.</p>
<p>‘You’re a blackguard,’ he says to Kurrell, ’and I’ve lost any self-respect I may ever have had; but when you’re with me, I can feel certain that you are not with Mrs. Vansuythen, or making Emma miserable.’</p>
<p>Kurrell endures anything that Boulte may say to him. Sometimes they are away for three days together, and then the Major insists upon his wife going over to sit with Mrs. Boulte; although Mrs. Vansuythen has repeatedly declared that she prefers her husband’s company to any in the world. From the way in which she clings to him, she would certainly seem to be speaking the truth.</p>
<p>But of course, as the Major says, ‘in a little Station we must all be friendly.’</p>
</div>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">31887</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Baa Baa, Black Sheep</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/baa-baa-black-sheep.htm</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[John Radcliffe]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Jul 2021 08:57:46 +0000</pubDate>
				<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/?post_type=tale&#038;p=57544</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Baa Baa, Black Sheep Have you any wool? Yes, Sir, yes, Sir, three bags full. One for the Master, one for the Dame— None for the Little Boy That cries down the lane. <i>Nursery Rhyme</i> ... <a title="Baa Baa, Black Sheep" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/baa-baa-black-sheep.htm" aria-label="Read more about Baa Baa, Black Sheep">Read more</a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<pre style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;">Baa Baa, Black Sheep
Have you any wool?
Yes, Sir, yes, Sir, three bags full.
One for the Master, one for the Dame—
None for the Little Boy 
That cries down the lane.
                        <i>Nursery Rhyme</i></pre>
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<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>page 1 of 9<br />
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<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">THE FIRST BAG</span></div>
<pre style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;">When I was in my father’s house, 
I was in a better place.</pre>
<p><b>THEY</b> were putting Punch to bed—the <i>ayah</i> and the <i>hamal</i> and Meeta, the big <i>Surti</i> boy, with the red-and-gold turban. Judy, already tucked inside her mosquito-curtains, was nearly asleep. Punch had been allowed to stay up for dinner. Many privileges had been accorded to Punch within the last ten days, and a greater kindness from the people of his world had encompassed his ways and works, which were mostly obstreperous. He sat on the edge of his bed and swung his bare legs defiantly.</p>
<p>‘Punch-<i>baba</i> going to bye-lo?’ said the <i>ayah</i> suggestively.</p>
<p>‘No,’ said Punch. ‘Punch-<i>baba</i> wants the story about the Ranee that was turned into a tiger. Meeta must tell it, and the <i>hamal</i> shall hide behind the door and make tiger-noises at the proper time.’</p>
<p>‘But Judy-<i>baba</i> will wake up,’ said the <i>ayah</i>.</p>
<p>‘Judy-<i>baba</i> is waked,’ piped a small voice from the mosquito-curtains. ‘There was a Ranee that lived at Delhi. Go on, Meeta,’ and she fell fast asleep again while Meeta began the story.</p>
<p>Never had Punch secured the telling of that tale with so little opposition. He reflected for a long time. The <i>hamal</i> made the tiger-noises in twenty different keys.</p>
<p>‘ ’Top! ’ said Punch authoritatively. ‘Why doesn’t Papa come in and say he is going to give me <i>put-put</i>?’</p>
<p>‘Punch-<i>baba</i> is going away,’ said the <i>ayah</i>. ‘In another week there will be no Punch-<i>baba</i> to pull my hair any more.’ She sighed softly, for the boy of the household was very dear to her heart.</p>
<p>‘Up the Ghauts in a train?’ said Punch, standing on his bed. ‘All the way to Nassick where the Ranee-Tiger lives?’</p>
<p>‘Not to Nassick this year, little Sahib,’ said Meeta, lifting him on his shoulder. ‘Down to the sea where the coconuts are thrown, and across the sea in a big ship. Will you take Meeta with you to <i>Belait</i>?’</p>
<p>‘You shall all come,’ said Punch, from the height of Meeta’s strong arms. ‘Meeta and the <i>ayah</i> and the <i>hamal</i> and Bhini-in-the-Garden, and the salaam-Captain-Sahib-snake-man.’</p>
<p>There was no mockery in Meeta’s voice when he replied: ‘Great is the Sahib’s favour,’ and laid the little man down in the bed, while the <i>ayah</i>, sitting in the moonlight at the doorway, lulled him to sleep with an interminable canticle such as they sing in the Roman Catholic Church at Parel. Punch curled himself into a ball and slept.</p>
<p>Next morning Judy shouted that there was a rat in the nursery, and thus he forgot to tell her the wonderful news. It did not much matter, for Judy was only three and she would not have understood. But Punch was five; and he knew that going to England would be much nicer than a trip to Nassick.</p>
<div align="center">
<h2><b>.     .     .     .     .</b></h2>
</div>
<p>Papa and Mamma sold the brougham and the piano, and stripped the house, and curtailed the allowance of crockery for the daily meals, and took long counsel together over a bundle of letters bearing the Rocklington postmark. ‘The worst of it is that one can’t be certain of anything,’ said Papa, pulling his moustache. ‘The letters in themselves are excellent, and the terms are moderate enough.’ ‘The worst of it is that the children will grow up away from me,’ thought Mamma; but she did not say it aloud. ‘We are only one case among hundreds,’ said Papa bitterly. ‘You shall go Home again in five years, dear.’ ‘Punch will be ten then—and Judy eight. Oh, how long and long and long the time will be! And we have to leave them among strangers.’ ‘Punch is a cheery little chap. He’s sure to make friends wherever he goes.’ ‘And who could help loving my Ju?’ They were standing over the cots in the nursery late at night, and I think that Mamma was crying softly. After Papa had gone away, she knelt down by the side of Judy’s cot. The <i>ayah</i> saw her and put up a prayer that the Memsahib might never find the love of her children taken away from her and given to a stranger. Mamma’s own prayer was a slightly illogical one. Summarised it ran: ‘Let strangers love my children and be as good to them as I should be, but let <i>me</i> preserve their love and their confidence for ever and ever. Amen.’ Punch scratched himself in his sleep, and Judy moaned a little. Next day they all went down to the sea, and there was a scene at the Apollo Bunder when Punch discovered that Meeta could not come too, and Judy learned that the <i>ayah</i> must be left behind. But Punch found a thousand fascinating things in the rope, block, and steam-pipe line on the big P. &amp; 0. steamer long before Meeta and the <i>ayah</i> had dried their tears. ‘Come back, Punch-<i>baba</i>,’ said the <i>ayah</i>. ‘Come back,’ said Meeta, ’and be a Burra Sahib.’ ‘Yes,’ said Punch, lifted up in his father’s arms to wave good-bye. ‘Yes, I will come back, and I will be a Burra Sahib Bahadur!’ At the end of the first day Punch demanded to be set down in England, which he was certain must be close at hand. Next day there was a merry breeze, and Punch was very sick. ‘When I come back to Bombay,’ said Punch on his recovery, ‘I will come by the road—in a broom-<i>gharri</i>. This is a very naughty ship.’ The Swedish boatswain consoled him, and he modified his opinions as the voyage went on. There was so much to see and to handle and ask questions about that Punch nearly forgot the <i>ayah</i> and Meeta and the <i>hamal</i>, and with difficulty remembered a few words of the Hindustani once his second speech. But Judy was much worse. The day before the steamer reached Southampton, Mamma asked her if she would not like to see the <i>ayah</i> again. Judy’s blue eyes turned to the stretch of sea that had swallowed all her tiny past, and she said ‘<i>Ayah</i>! What <i>ayah</i>?’</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>page 2<br />
</strong></em></p>
<p>Mamma cried over her and Punch marvelled. It was then that he heard for the first time Mamma’s passionate appeal to him never to let Judy forget Mamma. Seeing that Judy was young, ridiculously young, and that Mamma, every evening for four weeks past, had come into the cabin to sing her and Punch to sleep with a mysterious tune that he called ‘Sonny, my soul,’ Punch could not understand what Mamma meant. But he strove to do his duty; for, the moment Mamma left the cabin, he said to Judy: ‘Ju, you bemember Mamma?’ ‘’Torse I do,’ said Judy. ‘Then <i>always</i> bemember Mamma, ’r else I won’t give you the paper ducks that the red-haired Captain Sahib cut out for me.’ So Judy promised always to ‘bemember Mamma.’ Many and many a time was Mamma’s command laid upon Punch, and Papa would say the same thing with an insistence that awed the child. ‘You must make haste and learn to write, Punch,’ said Papa, ‘and then you’ll be able to write letters to us in Bombay.’ ‘I’ll come into your room,’ said Punch, and Papa choked. Papa and Mamma were always choking in those days. If Punch took Judy to task for not ‘bemembering,’ they choked. If Punch sprawled on the sofa in the Southampton lodging-house and sketched his future in purple and gold, they choked; and so they did if Judy put up her mouth for a kiss. Through many days all four were vagabonds on the face of the earth—Punch with no one to give orders to, Judy too young for anything, and Papa and Mamma grave, distracted, and choking. ‘Where,’ demanded Punch, wearied of a loathsome contrivance on four wheels with a mound of luggage atop—‘<i>where</i> is our broom-<i>gharri</i>? This thing talks so much that <i>I</i> can’t talk. Where is our <i>own</i> broom-<i>gharri</i>? When I was at Bandstand before we comed away, I asked Inverarity Sahib why he was sitting in it, and he said it was his own. And I said, “I will give it you”—I like Inverarity Sahib—and I said, “Can you put your legs through the pully-wag loops by the windows?” And Inverarity Sahib said No, and laughed. ‘I can put my legs through the pully-wag loops. I can put my legs through <i>these</i> pully-wag loops. Look! Oh, Mamma’s crying again! I didn’t know I wasn’t not to do <i>so</i>.’ Punch drew his legs out of the loops of the four-wheeler: the door opened and he slid to the earth, in a cascade of parcels, at the door of an austere little villa whose gates bore the legend ‘Downe Lodge.’ Punch gathered himself together and eyed the house with disfavour. It stood on a sandy road, and a cold wind tickled his knickerbockered legs. ‘Let us go away,’ said Punch. ‘This is not a pretty place.’ But Mamma and Papa and Judy had left the cab, and all the luggage was being taken into the house. At the doorstep stood a woman in black, and she smiled largely, with dry chapped lips. Behind her was a man, big, bony, grey, and lame as to one leg—behind him a boy of twelve, blackhaired and oily in appearance. Punch surveyed the trio, and advanced without fear, as he had been accustomed to do in Bombay when callers came and he happened to be playing in the veranda. ‘How do you do?’ said he. ‘I am Punch.’ But they were all looking at the luggage—all except the grey man, who shook hands with Punch, and said he was ‘a smart little fellow.’ There was much running about and banging of boxes, and Punch curled himself up on the sofa in the dining-room and considered things. ‘I don’t like these people,’ said Punch. ‘But never mind. We’ll go away soon. We have always went away soon from everywhere. I wish we was gone back to Bombay <i>soon</i>.’ The wish bore no fruit. For six days Mamma wept at intervals, and showed the woman in black all Punch’s clothes—a liberty which Punch resented. ‘But p’raps she’s a new white <i>ayah</i>,’ he thought. ‘I’m to call her Antirosa, but she doesn’t call <i>me</i> Sahib. She says just Punch,’ he confided to Judy. ‘What is Antirosa?’ Judy didn’t know. Neither she nor Punch had heard anything of an animal called an aunt. Their world had been Papa and Mamma, who knew everything, permitted everything, and loved everybody—even Punch when he used to go into the garden at Bombay and fill his nails with mould after the weekly nail-cutting, because, as he explained between two strokes of the slipper to his sorely-tried father, his fingers ‘felt so new at the ends.’ In an undefined way Punch judged it advisable to keep both parents between himself and the woman in black and the boy with black hair. He did not approve of them. He liked the grey man, who had expressed a wish to be called ‘Uncle-harri.’ They nodded at each other when they met, and the grey man showed him a little ship with rigging that took up and down. ‘She is a model of the <i>Brisk</i>—the little <i>Brisk</i> that was sore exposed that day at Navarino.’ The grey man hummed the last words and fell into a reverie. ‘I’ll tell you about Navarino, Punch, when we go for walks together; and you mustn’t touch the ship, because she’s the <i>Brisk</i>.’ Long before that walk, the first of many, was taken, they roused Punch and Judy in the chill dawn of a February morning to say Good-bye; and of all people in the wide earth to Papa and Mamma—both crying this time. Punch was very sleepy and Judy was cross. ‘Don’t forget us,’ pleaded Mamma. ‘Oh, my little son, don’t forget us, and see that Judy remembers too.’ ‘I’ve told Judy to bemember,’ said Punch, wriggling, for his father’s beard tickled his neck. ‘I’ve told Judy—ten—forty—’leven thousand times. But Ju’s so young—quite a baby—isn’t she?’ ‘Yes,’ said Papa, ‘quite a baby, and you must be good to Judy, and make haste to learn to write and—and—and——’ Punch was back in his bed again. Judy was fast asleep, and there was the rattle of a cab below. Papa and Mamma had gone away. Not to Nassick; that was across the sea. To some place much nearer, of course, and equally of course they would return. They came back after dinner-parties, and Papa had come back after he had been to a place called ‘The Snows,’ and Mamma with him, to Punch and Judy at Mrs. Inverarity’s house in Marine Lines. Assuredly they would come back again. So Punch fell asleep till the true morning, when the black-haired boy met him with the information that Papa and Mamma had gone to Bombay, and that he and Judy were to stay at Downe Lodge ‘for ever.’ Antirosa, tearfully appealed to for a contradiction, said that Harry had spoken the truth, and that it behoved Punch to fold up his clothes neatly on going to bed. Punch went out and wept bitterly with Judy, into whose fair head he had driven some ideas of the meaning of separation.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>page 3<br />
</strong></em></p>
<p>When a matured man discovers that he has been deserted by Providence, deprived of his God, and cast without help, comfort, or sympathy, upon a world which is new and strange to him, his despair, which may find expression in evil living, the writing of his experiences, or the more satisfactory diversion of suicide, is generally supposed to be impressive. A child, under exactly similar circumstances as far as its knowledge goes, cannot very well curse God and die. It howls till its nose is red, its eyes are sore, and its head aches. Punch and Judy, through no fault of their own, had lost all their world. They sat in the hall and cried; the black-haired boy looking on from afar. The model of the ship availed nothing, though the grey man assured Punch that he might pull the rigging up and down as much as he pleased; and Judy was promised free entry into the kitchen. They wanted Papa and Mamma, gone to Bombay beyond the seas, and their grief while it lasted was without remedy. When the tears ceased the house was very still. Antirosa had decided that it was better to let the children ‘have their cry out,’ and the boy had gone to school. Punch raised his head from the floor and sniffed mournfully. Judy was nearly asleep. Three short years had not taught her how to bear sorrow with full knowledge. There was a distant, dull boom in the air—a repeated heavy thud. Punch knew that sound in Bombay in the monsoon. It was the sea—the sea that must be traversed before any one could get to Bombay. ‘Quick, Ju!’ he cried. ‘We’re close to the sea. I can hear it! Listen! That’s where they’ve went. P’raps we can catch them if we was in time. They didn’t mean to go without us. They’ve only forgot.’ ‘Iss,’ said Judy. ‘They’ve only forgotted. Less go to the sea.’ The hall-door was open and so was the garden-gate. ‘It’s very, very big, this place,’ he said, looking cautiously down the road, ‘and we will get lost. But I will find a man and order him to take me back to my house—like I did in Bombay.’ He took Judy by the hand, and the two ran hatless in the direction of the sound of the sea. Downe Lodge was almost the last of a range of newly-built houses running out, through a field of brick-mounds, to a heath where gipsies occasionally camped and where the Garrison Artillery of Rocklington practised. There were few people to be seen, and the children might have been taken for those of the soldiery who ranged far. Half an hour the wearied little-legs tramped across heath, potato-patch, and sand-dune. ‘I’se so tired,’ said Judy; ‘and Mamma will be angry.’ ‘Mamma’s <i>never</i> angry. I suppose she is waiting at the sea now while Papa gets tickets. We’ll find them and go along with them. Ju, you mustn’t sit down. Only a little more and we’ll come to the sea. Ju, if you sit down I’ll <i>thmack</i> you!’ said Punch. They climbed another dune, and came upon the great grey sea at low tide. Hundreds of crabs were scuttling about the beach, but there was no trace of Papa and Mamma, not even of a ship upon the waters—nothing but sand and mud for miles and miles. And ‘Uncleharri’ found them by chance—very muddy and very forlorn—Punch dissolved in tears, but trying to divert Judy with an ‘ickle trab,’ and Judy wailing to the pitiless horizon for ‘Mamma, Mamma!’—and again ‘Mamma!’</p>
<div align="center"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">THE SECOND BAG</span></div>
<pre style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;">Ah, well-a-day, for we are souls bereaved!
Of all the creatures under Heaven’s wide cope
We are most hopeless, who had once most hope,
And most beliefless, who had most believed.
                           <i>(A.H.Clough)</i></pre>
<p><b>ALL</b> this time not a word about Black Sheep. He came later, and Harry, the black-haired boy, was mainly responsible for his coming.</p>
<p>Judy—who could help loving little Judy?—passed, by special permit, into the kitchen and thence straight to Aunty Rosa’s heart. Harry was Aunty Rosa’s one child, and Punch was the extra boy about the house. There was no special place for him or his little affairs, and he was forbidden to sprawl on sofas and explain his ideas about the manufacture of this world and his hopes for his future. Sprawling was lazy and wore out sofas, and little boys were not expected to talk. They were talked to, and the talking-to was intended for the benefit of their morals. As the unquestioned despot of the house at Bombay, Punch could not quite understand how he came to be of no account in this his new life.</p>
<p>Harry might reach across the table and take what he wanted; Judy might point and get what she wanted. Punch was forbidden to do either. The grey man was his great hope and stand-by for many months after Mamma and Papa left, and he had forgotten to tell Judy to ‘bemember Mamma.’</p>
<p>This lapse was excusable, because in the interval he had been introduced by Aunty Rosa to two very impressive things—an abstraction called God, the intimate friend and ally of Aunty Rosa, generally believed to live behind the kitchen-range because it was hot there—and a dirty brown book filled with unintelligible dots and marks. Punch was always anxious to oblige everybody. He therefore welded the story of the Creation on to what he could recollect of his Indian fairy tales, and scandalised Aunty Rosa by repeating the result to Judy. It was a sin, a grievous sin, and Punch was talked to for a quarter of an hour. He could not understand where the iniquity came in, but was careful not to repeat the offence, because Aunty Rosa told him that God had heard every word he had said and was very angry. If this were true why didn’t God come and say so, thought Punch, and dismissed the matter from his mind. Afterwards he learned to know the Lord as the only thing in the world more awful than Aunty Rosa—as a Creature that stood in the background and counted the strokes of the cane.</p>
<p>But the reading was, just then, a much more serious matter than any creed. Aunty Rosa sat him upon a table and told him that A B meant ab.</p>
<p>‘Why?’ said Punch. ‘A is a and B is bee. <i>Why</i> does A B mean ab? ‘</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>page 4<br />
</strong></em></p>
<p>‘Because I tell you it does,’ said Aunty Rosa, ‘and you’ve got to say it.’</p>
<p>Punch said it accordingly, and for a month, hugely against his will, stumbled through the brown book, not in the least comprehending what it meant. But Uncle Harry, who walked much and generally alone, was wont to come into the nursery and suggest to Aunty Rosa that Punch should walk with him. He seldom spoke, but he showed Punch all Rocklington, from the mud-banks and the sand of the back-bay to the great harbours where ships lay at anchor, and the dockyards where the hammers were never still, and the marine-store shops, and the shiny brass counters in the Offices where Uncle Harry went once every three months with a slip of blue paper and received sovereigns in exchange; for he held a wound-pension. Punch heard, too, from his lips the story of the battle of Navarino, where the sailors of the Fleet, for three days afterwards, were deaf as posts and could only sign to each other. ‘That was because of the noise of the guns,’ said Uncle Harry, ‘and I have got the wadding of a bullet somewhere inside me now.’</p>
<p>Punch regarded him with curiosity. He had not the least idea what wadding was, and his notion of a bullet was a dockyard cannon-ball bigger than his own head. How could Uncle Harry keep a cannon-ball inside him? He was afraid to ask, for fear Uncle Harry might be angry.</p>
<p>Punch had never known what anger—real anger—meant until one terrible day when Harry had taken his paint-box to paint a boat with, and Punch had protested. Then Uncle Harry had appeared on the scene and, muttering something about ‘strangers’ children,’ had with a stick smitten the black-haired boy across the shoulders till he wept and yelled, and Aunty Rosa came in and abused Uncle Harry for cruelty to his own flesh and blood, and Punch shuddered to the tips of his shoes. ‘It wasn’t my fault,’ he explained to the boy, but both Harry and Aunty Rosa said that it was, and that Punch had told tales, and for a week there were no more walks with Uncle Harry.</p>
<p>But that week brought a great joy to Punch.</p>
<p>He had repeated till he was thrice weary the statement that ‘The Cat lay on the Mat and the Rat came in.’</p>
<p>‘Now I can truly read,’ said Punch, ’and now I will never read anything in the world.’</p>
<p>He put the brown book in the cupboard where his school-books lived and accidentally tumbled out a venerable volume, without covers, labelled <i>Sharpe’s Magazine</i>. There was the most portentous picture of a Griffin on the first page, with verses below. The Griffin carried off one sheep a day from a German village, till a man came with a ‘falchion’ and split the Griffin open. Goodness only knew what a falchion was, but there was the Griffin and his history was an improvement upon the eternal Cat.</p>
<p>‘This,’ said Punch, ‘means things, and now I will know all about everything in all the world.’ He read till the light failed, not understanding a tithe of the meaning, but tantalised by glimpses of new worlds hereafter to be revealed.</p>
<p>‘What is a “falchion”? What is a “e-wee lamb”? What is a “base <i>uss</i>urper”? What is a “verdant mead”?’ he demanded, with flushed cheeks, at bedtime, of the astonished Aunty Rosa.</p>
<p>‘Say your prayers and go to sleep,’ she replied, and that was all the help Punch then or afterwards found at her hands in the new and delightful exercise of reading.</p>
<p>‘Aunty Rosa only knows about God and things like that,’ argued Punch. ‘Uncle Harry will tell me.’</p>
<p>The next walk proved that Uncle Harry could not help either; but he allowed Punch to talk, and even sat down on a bench to hear about the Griffin. Other walks brought other stories as Punch ranged farther afield, for the house held a large store of old books that no one ever opened—from <i>Frank Fairlegh</i> in serial numbers, and the earlier poems of Tennyson, contributed anonymously to <i>Sharpe’s Magazine</i>, to ’62 Exhibition Catalogues, gay with colours and delightfully incomprehensible, and odd leaves of <i>Gulliver’s Travels</i>.</p>
<p>As soon as Punch could string a few pot-hooks together he wrote to Bombay, demanding by return of post ‘all the books in all the world’. Papa could not comply with this modest indent, but sent <i>Grimm’s Fairy Tales</i> and a <i>Hans Andersen</i>. That was enough. If he were only left alone Punch could pass, at any hour he chose, into a land of his own, beyond reach of Aunty Rosa and her God, Harry and his teasements, and Judy’s claims to be played with.</p>
<p>‘Don’t disturb me, I’m reading. Go and play in the kitchen,’ grunted Punch. ‘Aunty Rosa lets <i>you</i> go there.’ Judy was cutting her second teeth and was fretful. She appealed to Aunty Rosa, who descended on Punch.</p>
<p>‘I was reading,’ he explained, ‘reading a book. I <i>want</i> to read.’</p>
<p>‘You’re only doing that to show off,’ said Aunty Rosa. ‘But we’ll see. Play with Judy now, and don’t open a book for a week.’</p>
<p>Judy did not pass a very enjoyable playtime with Punch, who was consumed with indignation. There was a pettiness at the bottom of the prohibition which puzzled him.</p>
<p>‘It’s what I like to do,’ he said, ‘and she’s found out that and stopped me. Don’t cry, Ju—it wasn’t your fault—<i>please</i> don’t cry, or she’ll say I made you.’</p>
<p>Ju loyally mopped up her tears, and the two played in their nursery, a room in the basement and half underground, to which they were regularly sent after the mid-day dinner while Aunty Rosa slept. She drank wine—that is to say, something from a bottle in the cellaret—for her stomach’s sake, but if she did not fall asleep she would sometimes come into the nursery to see that the children were really playing. Now bricks, wooden hoops, ninepins, and chinaware cannot amuse for ever, especially when all Fairyland is to be won by the mere opening of a book, and, as often as not, Punch would be discovered reading to Judy or telling her interminable tales. That was an offence in the eyes of the law, and Judy would be whisked off by Aunty Rosa, while Punch was left to play alone, ‘and be sure that I hear you doing it.’</p>
<p>It was not a cheering employ, for he had to make a playful noise. At last, with infinite craft, he devised an arrangement whereby the table could be supported as to three legs on toy bricks, leaving the fourth clear to bring down on the floor. He could work the table with one hand and hold the book with the other. This he did till an evil day when Aunty Rosa pounced upon him unawares and told him that he was ‘acting a lie.’</p>
<p>‘If you’re old enough to do that,’ she said—her temper was always worst after dinner—‘you’re old enough to be beaten.’</p>
<p>‘But—I’m—I’m not a animal!’ said Punch aghast. He remembered Uncle Harry and the stick, and turned white. Aunty Rosa had hidden a light cane behind her, and Punch was beaten then and there over the shoulders. It was a revelation to him. The room-door was shut, and he was left to weep himself into repentance and work out his own gospel of life.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>page 5<br />
</strong></em></p>
<p>Aunty Rosa, he argued, had the power to beat him with many stripes. It was unjust and cruel, and Mamma and Papa would never have allowed it. Unless perhaps, as Aunty Rosa seemed to imply, they had sent secret orders. In which case he was abandoned indeed. It would be discreet in the future to propitiate Aunty Rosa, but then again, even in matters in which he was innocent, he had been accused of wishing to ‘show off.’ He had ‘shown off’ before visitors when he had attacked a strange gentleman—Harry’s uncle, not his own—with requests for information about the Griffin and the falchion, and the precise nature of the Tilbury in which Frank Fairlegh rode—all points of paramount interest which he was bursting to understand. Clearly it would not do to pretend to care for Aunty Rosa.</p>
<p>At this point Harry entered and stood afar off, eyeing Punch, a dishevelled heap in the corner of the room, with disgust.</p>
<p>‘You’re a liar—a young liar,’ said Harry, with great unction, ‘and you’re to have tea down here because you’re not fit to speak to us. And you’re not to speak to Judy again till Mother gives you leave. You’ll corrupt her. You’re only fit to associate with the servant. Mother says so.’</p>
<p>Having reduced Punch to a second agony of tears, Harry departed upstairs with the news that Punch was still rebellious.</p>
<p>Uncle Harry sat uneasily in the dining-room. ‘Damn it all, Rosa,’ said he at last, ‘can’t you leave the child alone? He’s a good enough little chap when I meet him.’</p>
<p>‘He puts on his best manners with you, Henry,’ said Aunty Rosa, ‘but I’m afraid, I’m very much afraid, that he is the Black Sheep of the family.’</p>
<p>Harry heard and stored up the name for future use. Judy cried till she was bidden to stop, her brother not being worth tears; and the evening concluded with the return of Punch to the upper regions and a private sitting at which all the blinding horrors of Hell were revealed to Punch with such store of imagery as Aunty Rosa’s narrow mind possessed.</p>
<p>Most grievous of all was Judy’s round-eyed reproach, and Punch went to bed in the depths of the Valley of Humiliation. He shared his room with Harry and knew the torture in store. For an hour and a half he had to answer that young gentleman’s questions as to his motives for telling a lie, and a grievous lie, the precise quantity of punishment inflicted by Aunty Rosa, and had also to profess his deep gratitude for such religious instruction as Harry thought fit to impart.</p>
<p>From that day began the downfall of Punch, now Black Sheep.</p>
<p>‘Untrustworthy in one thing, untrustworthy in all,’ said Aunty Rosa, and Harry felt that Black Sheep was delivered into his hands. He would wake him up in the night to ask him why he was such a liar.</p>
<p>‘I don’t know,’ Punch would reply.</p>
<p>‘Then don’t you think you ought to get up and pray to God for a new heart?’</p>
<p>‘Y-yess.’</p>
<p>‘Get out and pray, then!’ And Punch would get out of bed with raging hate in his heart against all the world, seen and unseen. He was always tumbling into trouble. Harry had a knack of cross-examining him as to his day’s doings, which seldom failed to lead him, sleepy and savage, into half-a-dozen contradictions—all duly reported to Aunty Rosa next morning.</p>
<p>‘But it <i>wasn’t</i> a lie,’ Punch would begin, charging into a laboured explanation that landed him more hopelessly in the mire. ‘I said that I didn’t say my prayers <i>twice</i> over in the day, and <i>that</i> was on Tuesday. <i>Once</i> I did. I <i>know</i> I did, but Harry said I didn’t,’ and so forth, till the tension brought tears, and he was dismissed from the table in disgrace.</p>
<p>‘You usen’t to be as bad as this,’ said Judy, awestricken at the catalogue of Black Sheep’s crimes. ‘Why are you so bad now?’</p>
<p>‘I don’t know,’ Black Sheep would reply. ‘I’m not, if I only wasn’t bothered upside-down. I knew what I <i>did</i>, and I want to say so but Harry always makes it out different somehow, and Aunty Rosa doesn’t believe a word I say. Oh, Ju! Don’t <i>you</i> say I’m bad too.’</p>
<p>‘Aunty Rosa says you are,’ said Judy. ‘She told the Vicar so when he came yesterday.’</p>
<p>‘Why does she tell all the people outside the house about me? It isn’t fair,’ said Black Sheep. ‘When I was in Bombay, and was bad—<i>doing</i> bad, not made-up bad like this—Mamma told Papa, and Papa told me he knew, and that was all. <i>Outside</i> people didn’t know too—even Meeta didn’t know.’</p>
<p>‘I don’t remember,’ said Judy wistfully. ‘I was all little then. Mamma was just as fond of you as she was of me, wasn’t she?’</p>
<p>‘’Course she was. So was Papa. So was everybody.’</p>
<p>‘Aunty Rosa likes me more than she does you. She says that you are a Trial and a Black Sheep, and I’m not to speak to you more than I can help.’</p>
<p>‘Always? Not outside of the times when you mustn’t speak to me at all?’</p>
<p>Judy nodded her head mournfully. Black Sheep turned away in despair, but Judy’s arms were round his neck.</p>
<p>‘Never mind, Punch,’ she whispered. ‘I <i>will</i> speak to you just the same as ever and ever. You’re my own own brother though you are—though Aunty Rosa says you’re bad, and Harry says you are a little coward. He says that if I pulled your hair hard, you’d cry.’</p>
<p>‘Pull, then,’ said Punch.</p>
<p>Judy pulled gingerly.</p>
<p>‘Pull harder—as hard as you can! There! I don’t mind how much you pull it <i>now</i>. If you’ll speak to me same as ever I’ll let you pull it as much as you like—pull it out if you like. But I know if Harry came and stood by and made you do it I’d cry.’</p>
<p>So the two children sealed the compact with a kiss, and Black Sheep’s heart was cheered within him, and by extreme caution and careful avoidance of Harry he acquired virtue, and was allowed to read undisturbed for a week. Uncle Harry took him for walks, and consoled him with rough tenderness, never calling him Black Sheep. ‘It’s good for you, I suppose, Punch,’ he used to say. ‘Let us sit down. I’m getting tired.’ His steps led him now not to the beach, but to the Cemetery of Rocklington, amid the potato-fields. For hours the grey man would sit on a tombstone, while Black Sheep would read epitaphs, and then with a sigh would stump home again.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>page 6<br />
</strong></em></p>
<p>‘I shall lie there soon,’ said he to Black Sheep, one winter evening, when his face showed white as a worn silver coin under the light of the lych gate. ‘You needn’t tell Aunty Rosa.’</p>
<p>A month later he turned sharp round, ere half a morning walk was completed, and stumped back to the house. ‘Put me to bed, Rosa,’ he muttered. ‘I’ve walked my last. The wadding has found me out.’</p>
<p>They put him to bed, and for a fortnight the shadow of his sickness lay upon the. house, and Black Sheep went to and fro unobserved. Papa had sent him some new books, and he was told to keep quiet. He retired into his own world, and was perfectly happy. Even at night his felicity was unbroken. He could lie in bed and string himself tales of travel and adventure while Harry was downstairs.</p>
<p>‘Uncle Harry’s going to die,’ said Judy, who now lived almost entirely with Aunty Rosa.</p>
<p>‘I’m very sorry,’ said Black Sheep soberly. ‘He told me that a long time ago.’</p>
<p>Aunty Rosa heard the conversation. ‘Will nothing check your wicked tongue?’ she said angrily. There were blue circles round her eyes.</p>
<p>Black Sheep retreated to the nursery and read <i>Cometh up as a Flower</i> with deep and uncomprehending interest. He had been forbidden to open it on account of its ‘sinfulness,’ but the bonds of the Universe were crumbling, and Aunty Rosa was in great grief.</p>
<p>‘I’m glad,’ said Black Sheep. ‘She’s unhappy now. It wasn’t a lie, though. <i>I</i> knew. He told me not to tell.’</p>
<p>That night Black Sheep woke with a start. Harry was not in the room, and there was a sound of sobbing on the next floor. Then the voice of Uncle Harry, singing the song of the Battle of Navarino, came through the darkness:—</p>
<pre style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;">‘Our vanship was the <i>Asia</i>—
The <i>Albion</i> and <i>Genoa</i>!’
</pre>
<p>‘He’s getting well,’ thought Black Sheep, who knew the song through all its seventeen verses. But the blood froze at his little heart as he thought. The voice leapt an octave, and ran shrill as a boatswain’s pipe:—</p>
<pre style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;">‘And next came on the lovely <i>Rose</i>,
The <i>Philomel</i>, her fire-ship, closed,
And the little <i>Brisk</i> was sore exposed
That day at Navarino.’
</pre>
<p>‘That day at Navarino, Uncle Harry!’ shouted Black Sheep, half wild with excitement and fear of he knew not what.</p>
<p>A door opened, and Aunty Rosa screamed up the staircase: ‘Hush! For God’s sake hush, you little devil! Uncle Harry is <i>dead</i>!’</p>
<div align="center"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">THE THIRD BAG</span></div>
<pre style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;">Journeys end in lovers’ meeting,
Every wise man’s son doth know.</pre>
<p><b>‘I WONDER</b> what will happen to me now,’ thought Black Sheep, when semi-pagan rites peculiar to the burial of the Dead in middle-class houses had been accomplished, and Aunty Rosa, awful in black crape, had returned to this life. ‘I don’t think I’ve done anything bad that she knows of. I suppose I will soon. She will be very cross after Uncle Harry’s dying, and Harry will be cross too. I’ll keep in the nursery.’</p>
<p>Unfortunately for Punch’s plans, it was decided that he should be sent to a day-school which Harry attended. This meant a morning walk with Harry, and perhaps an evening one; but the prospect of freedom in the interval was refreshing. ‘Harry’ll tell everything I do, but I won’t do anything,’ said Black Sheep. Fortified with this virtuous resolution, he went to school only to find that Harry’s version of his character had preceded him, and that life was a burden in consequence. He took stock of his associates. Some of them were unclean, some of them talked in dialect, many dropped their h’s, and there were two Jews and a negro, or some one quite as dark, in the assembly. ‘That’s a <i>hubshi</i>,’ said Black Sheep to himself. ‘Even Meeta used to laugh at a <i>hubshi</i>. I don’t think this is a proper place.’ He was indignant for at least an hour, till he reflected that any expostulation on his part would be by Aunty Rosa construed into ‘showing off,’ and that Harry would tell the boys.</p>
<p>‘How do you like school?’ said Aunty Rosa at the end of the day.</p>
<p>‘I think it is a very nice place,’ said Punch quietly.</p>
<p>‘I suppose you warned the boys of Black Sheep’s character?’ said Aunty Rosa to Harry.</p>
<p>‘Oh yes,’ said the censor of Black Sheep’s morals. ‘They know all about him.’</p>
<p>‘If I was with my father,’ said Black Sheep, stung to the quick, ‘I shouldn’t <i>speak</i> to those boys. He wouldn’t let me. They live in shops. I saw them go into shops—where their fathers live and sell things.’</p>
<p>‘You’re too good for that school, are you?’ said Aunty Rosa, with a bitter smile. ‘You ought to be grateful, Black Sheep, that those boys speak to you at all. It isn’t every school that takes little liars.’</p>
<p>Harry did not fail to make much capital out of Black Sheep’s ill-considered remark; with the result that several boys, including the <i>hubshi</i>, demonstrated to Black Sheep the eternal equality of the human race by smacking his head, and his consolation from Aunty Rosa was that it ‘served him right for being vain.’ He learned, however, to keep his opinions to himself, and by propitiating Harry in carrying books and the like to get a little peace. His existence was not too joyful. From nine till twelve he was at school, and from two to four, except on Saturdays. In the evenings he was sent down into the nursery to prepare his lessons for the next day, and every night came the dreaded cross-questionings at Harry’s hand. Of Judy he saw but little. She was deeply religious—at six years of age Religion is easy to come by—and sorely divided between her natural love for Black Sheep and her love for Aunty Rosa, who could do no wrong.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>page 7<br />
</strong></em></p>
<p>The lean woman returned that love with interest, and Judy, when she dared, took advantage of this for the remission of Black Sheep’s penalties. Failures in lessons at school were punished at home by a week without reading other than schoolbooks, and Harry brought the news of such a failure with glee. Further, Black Sheep was then bound to repeat his lessons at bedtime to Harry, who generally succeeded in making him break down, and consoled him by gloomiest forebodings for the morrow. Harry was at once spy, practical joker, inquisitor, and Aunty Rosa’s deputy executioner. He filled his many posts to admiration. From his actions, now that Uncle Harry was dead, there was no appeal. Black Sheep had not been permitted to keep any self-respect at school: at home he was, of course, utterly discredited, and grateful for any pity that the servant-girls—they changed frequently at Downe Lodge because they, too, were liars—might show. ‘You’re just fit to row in the same boat with Black Sheep,’ was a sentiment that each new Jane or Eliza might expect to hear, before a month was over, from Aunty Rosa’s lips; and Black Sheep was used to ask new girls whether they had yet been compared to him. Harry was ‘Master Harry’ in their mouths; Judy was officially ‘Miss Judy’; but Black Sheep was never anything more than Black Sheep <i>tout court</i>.</p>
<p>As time went on and the memory of Papa and Mamma became wholly overlaid by the unpleasant task of writing them letters, under Aunty Rosa’s eye, each Sunday, Black Sheep forgot what manner of life he had led in the beginning of things. Even Judy’s appeals to ‘try and remember about Bombay’ failed to quicken him.</p>
<p>‘I can’t remember,’ he said. ‘I know I used to give orders and Mamma kissed me.’</p>
<p>‘Aunty Rosa will kiss you if you are good,’ pleaded Judy.</p>
<p>‘Ugh! I don’t want to be kissed by Aunty Rosa. She’d say I was doing it to get something more to eat.’</p>
<p>The weeks lengthened into months, and the holidays came; but just before the holidays Black Sheep fell into deadly sin.</p>
<p>Among the many boys whom Harry had incited to ‘punch Black Sheep’s head because he daren’t hit back,’ was one more aggravating than the rest, who, in an unlucky moment, fell upon Black Sheep when Harry was not near. The blows stung, and Black Sheep struck back at random with all the power at his command. The boy dropped and whimpered. Black Sheep was astounded at his own act, but, feeling the unresisting body under him, shook it with both his hands in blind fury and then began to throttle his enemy; meaning honestly to slay him. There was a scuffle, and Black Sheep was torn off the body by Harry and some colleagues, and cuffed home tingling but exultant. Aunty Rosa was out. Pending her arrival, Harry set himself to lecture Black Sheep on the sin of murder—which he described as the offence of Cain.</p>
<p>‘Why didn’t you fight him fair? What did you hit him when he was down for, you little cur?’</p>
<p>Black Sheep looked up at Harry’s throat and then at a knife on the dinner-table.</p>
<p>‘I don’t understand,’ he said wearily. ‘You always set him on me and told me I was a coward when I blubbed. Will you leave me alone until Aunty Rosa comes in? She’ll beat me if you tell her I ought to be beaten; so it’s all right.’</p>
<p>‘It’s all wrong,’ said Harry magisterially. ‘You nearly killed him, and I shouldn’t wonder if he dies.’</p>
<p>‘Will he die?’ said Black Sheep.</p>
<p>‘I daresay,’ said Harry, ‘and then you’ll be hanged, and go to Hell.’</p>
<p>‘All right,’ said Black Sheep, picking up the table-knife. ‘Then I’ll kill <i>you</i> now. You say things and do things and—and I don’t know how things happen, and you never leave me alone—and I don’t care <i>what</i> happens!’</p>
<p>He ran at the boy with the knife, and Harry fled upstairs to his room, promising Black Sheep the finest thrashing in the world when Aunty Rosa returned. Black Sheep sat at the bottom of the stairs, the table-knife in his hand, and wept for that he had not killed Harry. The servant-girl came up from the kitchen, took the knife away, and consoled him. But Black Sheep was beyond consolation. He would be badly beaten by Aunty Rosa; then there would be another beating at Harry’s hands; then Judy would not be allowed to speak to him; then the tale would be told at school, and then——</p>
<p>There was no one to help and no one to care, and the best way out of the business was by death. A knife would hurt, but Aunty Rosa had told him, a year ago, that if he sucked paint he would die. He went into the nursery, unearthed the now disused Noah’s Ark, and sucked the paint off as many animals as remained. It tasted abominably, but he had licked Noah’s Dove clean by the time Aunty Rosa and Judy returned. He went upstairs and greeted them with: ‘Please, Aunty Rosa, I believe I’ve nearly killed a boy at school, and I’ve tried to kill Harry, and when you’ve done all about God and Hell, will you beat me and get it over?’</p>
<p>The tale of the assault as told by Harry could only be explained on the ground of possession by the Devil. Wherefore Black Sheep was not only most excellently beaten, once by Aunty Rosa, and once, when thoroughly cowed down, by Harry, but he was further prayed for at family prayers, together with Jane, who had stolen a cold rissole from the pantry, and snuffled audibly as her sin was brought before the Throne of Grace. Black Sheep was sore and stiff but triumphant. He would die that very night and be rid of them all. No, he would ask for no forgiveness from Harry, and at bed-time would stand no questioning at Harry’s hands, even though addressed as ‘Young Cain.’</p>
<p>‘I’ve been beaten,’ said he, ‘and I’ve done other things. I don’t care what I do. If you speak to me to-night, Harry, I’ll get out and try to kill you. Now you can kill me if you like.’</p>
<p>Harry took his bed into the spare room, and Black Sheep lay down to die.</p>
<p>It may be that the makers of Noah’s Arks know that their animals are likely to find their way into young mouths, and paint them accordingly. Certain it is that the common, weary next morning broke through the windows and found Black Sheep quite well and a good deal ashamed of himself, but richer by the knowledge that he could, in extremity, secure himself against Harry for the future.</p>
<p>When he descended to breakfast on the first day of the holidays, he was greeted with the news that Harry, Aunty Rosa, and Judy were going away to Brighton, while Black Sheep was to stay in the house with the servant. His latest outbreak suited Aunty Rosa’s plans admirably. It gave her good excuse for leaving the extra boy behind. Papa in Bombay, who really seemed to know a young sinner’s wants to the hour, sent, that week, a package of new books. And with these, and the society of Jane on board-wages, Black Sheep was left alone for a month.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>page 8<br />
</strong></em></p>
<p>The books lasted for ten days. They were eaten too quickly in long gulps of twelve hours at a time. Then came days of doing absolutely nothing, of dreaming dreams and marching imaginary armies up and down stairs, of counting the number of banisters, and of measuring the length and breadth of every room in handspans—fifty down the side, thirty across, and fifty back again. Jane made many friends, and, after receiving Black Sheep’s assurance that he would not tell of her absences, went out daily for long hours. Black Sheep would follow the rays of the sinking sun from the kitchen to the dining-room and thence upward to his own bedroom until all was grey dark, and he ran down to the kitchen fire and read by its light. He was happy in that he was left alone and could read as much as he pleased. But, later, he grew afraid of the shadows of window curtains and the flapping of doors and the creaking of shutters. He went out into the garden, and the rustling of the laurel-bushes frightened him.</p>
<p>He was glad when they all returned—Aunty Rosa, Harry, and Judy—full of news, and Judy laden with gifts. Who could help loving loyal little Judy? In return for all her merry babblement, Black Sheep confided to her that the distance from the hall-door to the top of the first landing was exactly one-hundred and eighty-four handspans. He had found it out himself!</p>
<p>Then the old life recommenced; but with a difference, and a new sin. To his other iniquities Black Sheep had now added a phenomenal clumsiness—was as unfit to trust in action as he was in word. He himself could not account for spilling everything he touched, upsetting glasses as he put his hand out, and bumping his head against doors that were manifestly shut. There was a grey haze upon all his world, and it narrowed month by month, until at last it left Black Sheep almost alone with the flapping curtains that were so like ghosts, and the nameless terrors of broad daylight that were only coats on pegs after all.</p>
<p>Holidays came and holidays went, and Black Sheep was taken to see many people whose faces were all exactly alike; was beaten when occasion demanded, and tortured by Harry on all possible occasions; but defended by Judy through good and evil report, though she hereby drew upon herself the wrath of Aunty Rosa,</p>
<p>The weeks were interminable and Papa and Mamma were clean forgotten. Harry had left school and was a clerk in a Banking-Office. Freed from his presence, Black Sheep resolved that he should no longer be deprived of his allowance of pleasure-reading. Consequently when he failed at school he reported that all was well, and conceived a large contempt for Aunty Rosa as he saw how easy it was to deceive her. ‘She says I’m a little liar when I don’t tell lies, and now I do, she doesn’t know,’ thought Black Sheep. Aunty Rosa had credited him in the past with petty cunning and stratagem that had never entered into his head. By the light of the sordid knowledge that she had revealed to him he paid her back full tale. In a household where the most innocent of his motives, his natural yearning for a little affection, had been interpreted into a desire for more bread and jam, or to ingratiate himself with strangers and so put Harry into the background, his work was easy. Aunty Rosa could penetrate certain kinds of hypocrisy, but not all. He set his child’s wits against hers and was no more beaten. It grew monthly more and more of a trouble to read the school-books, and even the pages of the open-print story-books danced and were dim. So Black Sheep brooded in the shadows that fell about him and cut him off from the world, inventing horrible punishments for ‘dear Harry,’ or plotting another line of the tangled web of deception that he wrapped round Aunty Rosa.</p>
<p>Then the crash came and the cobwebs were broken. It was impossible to foresee everything. Aunty Rosa made personal inquiries as to Black Sheep’s progress and received information that startled her. Step by step, with a delight as keen as when she convicted an underfed housemaid of the theft of cold meats, she followed the trail of Black Sheep’s delinquencies. For weeks and weeks, in order to escape banishment from the book-shelves, he had made a fool of Aunty Rosa, of Harry, of God, of all the world! Horrible, most horrible, and evidence of an utterly depraved mind.</p>
<p>Black Sheep counted the cost. ‘It will only be one big beating and then she’ll put a card with “Liar” on my back, same as she did before. Harry will whack me and pray for me, and she will pray for me at prayers and tell me I’m a Child of the Devil and give me hymns to learn. But I’ve done all my reading and she never knew. She’ll say she knew all along. She’s an old liar too,’ said he.</p>
<p>For three days Black Sheep was shut in his own bedroom—to prepare his heart. ‘That means two beatings. One at school and one here. <i>That</i> one will hurt most.’ And it fell even as he thought. He was thrashed at school before the Jews and the <i>hubshi</i> for the heinous crime of carrying home false reports of progress. He was thrashed at home by Aunty Rosa on the same count, and then the placard was produced. Aunty Rosa stitched it between his shoulders and bade him go for a walk with it upon him.</p>
<p>‘If you make me do that,’ said Black Sheep very quietly, ‘I shall burn this house down, and perhaps I’ll kill you. I don’t know whether I <i>can</i> kill you—you’re so bony—but I’ll try.’</p>
<p>No punishment followed this blasphemy, though Black Sheep held himself ready to work his way to Aunty Rosa’s withered throat, and grip there till he was beaten off. Perhaps Aunty Rosa was afraid, for Black Sheep, having reached the Nadir of Sin, bore himself with a new recklessness.</p>
<p>In the midst of all the trouble there came a visitor from over the seas to Downe Lodge, who knew Papa and Mamma, and was commissioned to see Punch and Judy. Black Sheep was sent to the drawing-room and charged into a solid tea-table laden with china.</p>
<p>‘Gently, gently, little man,’ said the visitor, turning Black Sheep’s face to the light slowly. ‘What’s that big bird on the palings?’</p>
<p>‘What bird?’ asked Black Sheep.</p>
<p>The visitor looked deep down into Black Sheep’s eyes for half a minute, and then said suddenly: ‘Good God, the little chap’s nearly blind!’</p>
<p>It was a most business-like visitor. He gave orders, on his own responsibility, that Black Sheep was not to go to school or open a book—until Mamma came home. ‘She’ll be here in three weeks, as you know, of course,’ said he, ‘and I’m Inverarity Sahib. I ushered you into this wicked world, young man, and a nice use you seem to have made of your time. You must do nothing whatever. Can you do that?’</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ said Punch in a dazed way. He had known that Mamma was coming. There was a chance, then, of another beating. Thank Heaven, Papa wasn’t coming too. Aunty Rosa had said of late that he ought to be beaten by a man.</p>
<p>For the next three weeks Black Sheep was strictly allowed to do nothing. He spent his time in the old nursery looking at the broken toys, for all of which account must be rendered to Mamma. Aunty Rosa hit him over the hands if even a wooden boat were broken. But that sin was of small importance compared to the other revelations, so darkly hinted at by Aunty Rosa. ‘When your Mother comes, and hears what I have to tell her, she may appreciate you properly,’ she said grimly, and mounted guard over Judy lest that small maiden should attempt to comfort her brother, to the peril of her soul.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>page 9<br />
</strong></em></p>
<p>And Mamma came—in a four-wheeler—fluttered with tender excitement. Such a Mamma! She was young, frivolously young, and beautiful, with delicately flushed cheeks, eyes that shone like stars, and a voice that needed no appeal of outstretched arms to draw little ones to her heart. Judy ran straight to her, but Black Sheep hesitated. Could this wonder be ‘showing off’? She would not put out her arms when she knew of his crimes. Meantime was it possible that by fondling she wanted to get anything out of Black Sheep? Only all his love and all his confidence but that Black Sheep did not know. Aunty Rosa withdrew and left Mamma, kneeling between her children, half laughing, half crying, in the very hall where Punch and Judy had wept five years before.</p>
<p>‘Well, chicks, do you remember me?’</p>
<p>‘No,’ said Judy frankly, ‘but I said, “God bless Papa and Mamma” ev’vy night.’</p>
<p>‘A little,’ said Black Sheep. ‘Remember I wrote to you every week, anyhow. That isn’t to show off, but ’cause of what comes afterwards.’</p>
<p>‘What comes after? What should come after, my darling boy?’ And she drew him to her again. He came awkwardly, with many angles. ‘Not used to petting,’ said the quick Mother soul. ‘The girl is.’</p>
<p>‘She’s too little to hurt any one,’ thought Black Sheep, ‘and if I said I’d kill her, she’d be afraid. I wonder what Aunty Rosa will tell.’</p>
<p>There was a constrained late dinner, at the end of which Mamma picked up Judy and put her to bed with endearments manifold. Faithless little Judy had shown her defection from Aunty Rosa already. And that lady resented it bitterly. Black Sheep rose to leave the room.</p>
<p>‘Come and say good-night,’ said Aunty Rosa, offering a withered cheek.</p>
<p>‘Huh!’ said Black Sheep. ‘I never kiss you, and I’m not going to show off. Tell that woman what I’ve done, and see what she says.’</p>
<p>Black Sheep climbed into bed feeling that he had lost Heaven after a glimpse through the gates. In half an hour ‘that woman’ was bending over him. Black Sheep flung up his right arm. It wasn’t fair to come and hit him in the dark. Even Aunty Rosa never tried that. But no blow followed.</p>
<p>‘Are you showing off? I won’t tell you anything more than Aunty Rosa has, and <i>she</i> doesn’t know everything,’ said Black Sheep as clearly as he could for the arms round his neck.</p>
<p>‘Oh, my son—my little, little son! It was my fault—<i>my</i> fault, darling—and yet how could we help it? Forgive me, Punch.’ The voice died out in a broken whisper, and two hot tears fell on Black Sheep’s forehead.</p>
<p>‘Has she been making you cry too?’ he asked. ‘You should see Jane cry. But you’re nice, and Jane is a Born Liar—Aunty Rosa says so.’</p>
<p>‘Hush, Punch, hush! My boy, don’t talk like that. Try to love me a little bit—a little bit. You don’t know how I want it. Punch-<i>baba</i>, come back to me! I am your Mother—your own Mother—and never mind the rest. I know—yes, I know, dear. It doesn’t matter now. Punch, won’t you care for me a little?’</p>
<p>It is astonishing how much petting a big boy of ten can endure when he is quite sure that there is no one to laugh at him. Black Sheep had never been made much of before, and here was this beautiful woman treating him—Black Sheep, the Child of the Devil and the inheritor of undying flame—as though he were a small God.</p>
<p>‘I care for you a great deal, Mother dear,’ he whispered at last, ‘and I’m glad you’ve come back; but are you sure Aunty Rosa told you everything?’</p>
<p>‘Everything. What <i>does</i> it matter? But——’ the voice broke with a sob that was also laughter—‘Punch, my poor, dear, half-blind darling, don’t you think it was a little foolish of you?’</p>
<p>‘<i>No</i>. It saved a lickin’.’</p>
<p>Mamma shuddered and slipped away in the darkness to write a long letter to Papa. Here is an extract:—</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px;"><i>‘. . . Judy is a dear, plump little prig who adores the woman, and wears with as much gravity as her religious opinions—only eight, Jack!—a venerable horse-hair atrocity which she calls her Bustle! I have just burnt it, and the child is asleep in my bed as I write. She will come to me at once. Punch I cannot quite understand. He is well nourished, but seems to have been worried into a system of small deceptions which the woman magnifies into deadly sins. Don’t you recollect our own upbringing, dear, when the Fear of the Lord was so often the beginning of falsehood? I shall win Punch to me before long. I am taking the children away into the country to get them to know me, and, on the whole, I am content, or shall be when you come home, dear boy, and then, thank God, we shall be all under one roof again at last!’</i></p>
<p>Three months later, Punch, no longer Black Sheep, has discovered that he is the veritable owner of a real, live, lovely Mamma, who is also a sister, comforter, and friend, and that he must protect her till the Father comes home. Deception does not suit the part of a protector, and, when one can do anything without question, where is the use of deception?</p>
<p>‘Mother would be awfully cross if you walked through that ditch,’ says Judy, continuing a conversation.</p>
<p>‘Mother’s never angry,’ says Punch. ‘She’d just say, “You’re a little <i>pagal</i>”; and that’s not nice, but I’ll show.’</p>
<p>Punch walks through the ditch and mires himself to the knees. ‘Mother dear,’ he shouts, ‘I’m just as dirty as I can pos-<i>sib</i>-ly be!’</p>
<p>‘Then change your clothes as quickly as you pos-<i>sib</i>-ly can!’ Mother’s clear voice rings out from the house. ‘And don’t be a little pagal!’</p>
<p>‘There! Told you so,’ says Punch. ‘It’s all different now, and we are just as much Mother’s as if she had never gone.’</p>
<p>Not altogether, O Punch, for when young lips have drunk deep of the bitter waters of Hate, Suspicion, and Despair, all the Love in the world will not wholly take away that knowledge; though it may turn darkened eyes for a while to the light, and teach Faith where no Faith was.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Beyond the Pale</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/beyond-the-pale.htm</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[wa_admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Apr 2021 11:34:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<guid isPermaLink="false">https://ks-demo3.web/tale/beyond-the-pale/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<em><strong>(a short tale)</strong></em> <em>Love heeds not caste nor sleep a broken bed. I went in search of love and lost myself. —Hindu Proverb</em> <b>A MAN</b> should, whatever happens, keep to his own caste, race, and ... <a title="Beyond the Pale" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/beyond-the-pale.htm" aria-label="Read more about Beyond the Pale">Read more</a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="leftmargin">
<p style="text-align: center; color: red;"><em><strong>(a short tale)</strong></em></p>
<p style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;"><em>Love heeds not caste nor sleep a broken bed.<br />
I went in search of love and lost myself.<br />
—Hindu Proverb</em></p>
<p><b>A MAN</b> should, whatever happens, keep to his own caste, race, and breed. Let the White go to the White and the Black to the Black. Then, whatever trouble falls is in the ordinary course of things—neither sudden, alien, nor unexpected. This is the story of a man who wilfully stepped beyond the safe limits of decent everyday society, and paid for it heavily. He knew too much in the first instance; and he saw too much in the second. He took too deep an interest in native life; but he will never do so again.</p>
<p>Deep away in the heart of the City, behind Jitha Megji’s <i>bustee</i>, lies Amir Nath’s Gully, which ends in a dead-wall pierced by one grated window. At the head of the Gully is a big cowbyre, and the walls on either side of the Gully are without windows. Neither Suchet Singh nor Gaur Chand approve of their women-folk looking into the world. If Durga Charan had been of their opinion he would have been a happier man today, and little Bisesa would have been able to knead her own bread. Her room looked out through the grated window into the narrow dark Gully where the sun never came and where the buffaloes wallowed in the blue slime. She was a widow, about fifteen years old, and she prayed the Gods, day and night, to send her a lover; for she did not approve of living alone.</p>
<p>One day, the man—Trejago his name was—came into Amir Nath’s Gully on an aimless wandering; and, after he had passed the buffaloes, stumbled over a big heap of cattle-food.</p>
<p>Then he saw that the Gully ended in a trap, and heard a little laugh from behind the grated window. It was a pretty little laugh, and Trejago, knowing that, for all practical purposes, the old Arabian Nights are good guides, went forward to the window, and whispered that verse of ‘The Love Song of Har Dyal’ which begins:—</p>
<p style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;"><em>Can a man stand upright in the face of the naked Sun; or a Lover in the Presence of his Beloved?<br />
If my feet fail me, O Heart of my Heart, am I to blame, being blinded by the glimpse of your beauty?</em></p>
<p>There came the faint <i>tchink</i> of a woman&#8217;s bracelets from behind the grating, and a little voice went on with the song at the fifth verse :</p>
<p style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;"><em>Alas! alas! Can the Moon tell the Lotus of her love when the Gate of Heaven is shut<br />
and the clouds gather for the rains?<br />
They have taken my Beloved, and driven her with the pack-horses to the North.<br />
There are iron chains on the feet that were set on my heart.<br />
Call to the bowmen to make ready——</em></p>
<p>The voice stopped suddenly, and Trejago walked out of Amir Nath’s Gully, wondering who in the world could have capped ‘The Love Song of Har Dyal’ so neatly.</p>
<p>Next morning, as he was driving to office, an old woman threw a packet into his dogcart. In the packet was the half of a broken glass-bangle, one flower of the blood-red <i>dhak</i>, a pinch of <i>bhusa</i> or cattle-food, and eleven cardamoms. That packet was a letter—not a clumpsy compromising letter, but an innocent unintelligible lover’s epistle.</p>
<p>Trejago knew far too much about these things, as I have said. No Englishman should be able to translate object-letters. But Trejago spread all the trifles on the lid of his office-box and began to puzzle them out.</p>
<p>A broken glass-bangle stands for a Hindu widow all India over; because, when her husband dies, a woman’s bracelets are broken on her wrists. Trejago saw the meaning of the little bit of glass. The flower of the <i>dhak</i> means diversely ‘desire,’ ‘I come,’ ‘write,’ or ‘danger,’ according to the other things with it. One cardamom means ‘jealousy’; but when any article is duplicated in an object-letter, it loses its symbolic meaning and stands merely for one of a number indicating time, or, if incense, curds, or saffron be sent also, place. The message ran then—‘A widow—<i>dhak</i> flower and <i>bhusa</i>,—at eleven o’clock.’ The pinch of bhusa enlightened Trejago. He saw—this kind of letter leaves much to instinctive knowledge that the <i>bhusa</i> referred to the big heap of cattlefood over which he had fallen in Amir Nath’s Gully, and that the message must come from the person behind the grating; she being a widow. So the message ran then, ‘A widow, in the Gully in which is the heap of <i>bhusa</i>, desires you to come at eleven o’clock.’</p>
<p>Trejago threw all the rubbish into the fireplace and laughed. He knew that men in the East do not make love under windows at eleven in the forenoon, nor do women fix appointments a week in advance. So he went, that very night at eleven, into Amir Nath’s Gully, clad in a <i>boorka</i>, which cloaks a man as well as a woman. Directly the gongs of the City made the hour, the little voice behind the grating took up ‘The Love Song of Har Dyal’ at the verse where the Pathan girl calls upon Har Dyal to return. The song is really pretty in the vernacular. In English you miss the wail of it. It runs something like this—</p>
<pre style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px;"><em>Alone upon the housetops, to the North
I turn and watch the lightning in the sky,—
The glamour of thy footsteps in the North.
<i>Come back to me, Beloved, or I die!</i>
Below my feet the still bazar is laid—
Far, far, below the weary camels lie,
The camels and the captives of thy raid.
<i>Come back to me, Beloved, or I die!</i>
My father’s wife is old and harsh with years,
And drudge of all my father’s house am I.—
My bread is sorrow and my drink is tears,
<i>Come back to me, Beloved, or I die!</i></em></pre>
<p>As the song stopped, Trejago stepped up under the grating and whispered—‘I am here.’</p>
<p>Bisesa was good to look upon.</p>
<p>That night was the beginning of many strange things, and of a double life so wild that Trejago to-day sometimes wonders if it were not all a dream. Bisesa, or her old handmaiden who had thrown the object-letter, had detached the heavy grating from the brick-work of the wall; so that the window slid inside, leaving only a square of raw masonry into which an active man might climb.</p>
<p>In the day-time, Trejago drove through his routine of office-work, or put on his calling-clothes and called on the ladies of the Station, wondering how long they would know him if they knew of poor little Bisesa. At night, when all the City was still, came the walk under the evil-smelling boorka, the patrol through Jitha Megji’s bustee, the quick turn into Amir Nath’s Gully between the sleeping cattle and the dead walls, and then, last of all, Bisesa, and the deep, even breathing of the old woman who slept outside the door of the bare little room that Durga Charan allotted to his sister’s daughter. Who or what Durga Charan was, Trejago never inquired; and why in the world he was not discovered and knifed never occurred to him till his madness was over, and Bisesa . . . . But this comes later.</p>
<p>Bisesa was an endless delight to Trejago. She was as ignorant as a bird; and her distorted versions of the rumours from the outside world, that had reached her in her room, amused Trejago almost as much as her lisping attempts to pronounce his name—‘Christopher.’ The first syllable was always more than she could manage, and she made funny little gestures with her roseleaf hands, as one throwing the name away, and then, kneeling before Trejago, asked him, exactly as an Englishwoman would do, if he were sure he loved her. Trejago swore that he loved her more than any one else in the world. Which was true.</p>
<p>After a month of this folly, the exigencies of his other life compelled Trejago to be especially attentive to a lady of his acquaintance. You may take it for a fact that anything of this kind is not only noticed and discussed by a man’s own race, but by some hundred and fifty natives as well. Trejago had to walk with this lady and talk to her at the Band-stand, and once or twice to drive with her; never for an instant dreaming that this would affect his dearer, out-of-the-way life. But the news flew, in the usual mysterious fashion, from mouth to mouth, till Bisesa’s duenna heard of it and told Bisesa. The child was so troubled that she did the household work evilly, and was beaten by Durga Charan’s wife in consequence.</p>
<p>A week later Bisesa taxed Trejago with the flirtation. She understood no gradations and spoke openly. Trejago laughed, and Bisesa stamped her little feet—little feet, light as marigold flowers, that could lie in the palm of a man’s one hand.</p>
<p>Much that is written about Oriental passion and impulsiveness is exaggerated and compiled at second-hand, but a little of it is true; and when an Englishman finds that little, it is quite as startling as any passion in his own proper life. Bisesa raged and stormed, and finally threatened to kill herself if Trejago did not at once drop the alien <i>Memsahib</i> who had come between them. Trejago tried to explain, and to show her that she did not understand these things from a Western standpoint. Bisesa drew herself up, and said simply—</p>
<p>‘I do not. I know only this—it is not good that I should have made you dearer than my own heart to me, <i>Sahib</i>. You are an Englishman. I am only a black girl’—she was fairer than bar-gold in the Mint,—‘and the widow of a black man.’</p>
<p>Then she sobbed and said—‘But on my soul and my Mother’s soul, I love you. There shall no harm come to you, whatever happens to me.’</p>
<p>Trejago argued with the child, and tried to soothe her, but she seemed quite unreasonably disturbed. Nothing would satisfy her save that all relations between them should end. He was to go away at once. And he went. As he dropped out of the window she kissed his forehead twice, and he walked home wondering.</p>
<p>A week, and then three weeks, passed without a sign from Bisesa. Trejago, thinking that the rupture had lasted quite long enough, went down to Amir Nath’s Gully for the fifth time in the three weeks, hoping that his rap at the sill of the shifting grating would be answered. He was not disappointed.<a name="bisesa"></a></p>
<p>There was a young moon, and one stream of light fell down into Amir Nath’s Gully, and struck the grating which was drawn away as he knocked.<span style="color: #000000;"> From the black dark, Bisesa held out her arms into the moonlight. Both hands had been cut off at the wrists, and the stumps were nearly healed.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">Then, as Bisesa bowed her head between her arms and sobbed, some one in the room grunted like a wild beast, and something sharp &#8211; knife, sword, or spear, thrust at Trejago in his <i>boorka</i>.</span> The stroke missed his body, but cut into one of the muscles of the groin, and he limped slightly from the wound for the rest of his days.</p>
<p>The grating went into its place. There was no sign whatever from inside the house,—nothing but the moonlight strip on the high wall, and the blackness of Amir Nath’s Gully behind.</p>
<p>The next thing Trejago remembers, after raging and shouting like a madman between those pitiless walls, is that he found himself near the river as the dawn was breaking, threw away his <i>boorka</i> and went home bareheaded.</p>
<div align="center">
<h2><b>.     .     .   .     .</b></h2>
</div>
<p>What was the tragedy—whether Bisesa had, in a fit of causeless despair, told everything, or the intrigue had been discovered and she tortured to tell; whether Durga Charan knew his name and what became of Bisesa—Trejago does not know to this day. Something horrible had happened, and the thought of what it must have been comes upon Trejago in the night now and again, and keeps him company till the morning. One special feature of the case is that he does not know where lies the front of Durga Charan’s house. It may open on to a courtyard common to two or more houses, or it may lie behind any one of the gates of Jitha Megji’s <i>bustee</i>. Trejago cannot tell. He cannot get Bisesa—poor little Bisesa—back again. He has lost her in the City where each man’s house is as guarded and as unknowable as the grave; and the grating that opens into Amir Nath’s Gully has been walled up.</p>
<p>But Trejago pays his calls regularly, and is reckoned a very decent sort of man.</p>
<p>There is nothing peculiar about him, except a slight stiffness, caused by a riding-strain, in the right leg.</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">9373</post-id>	</item>
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		<title>Bitters Neat</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/bitters.htm</link>
		
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		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Apr 2021 12:20:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<guid isPermaLink="false">https://ks-demo3.web/tale/9393/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<strong>(a short tale)</strong> <strong>THE</strong> oldest trouble in the world comes from want of understanding. And it is entirely the fault of the woman. Somehow, she is built incapable of speaking the truth, even to herself. ... <a title="Bitters Neat" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/bitters.htm" aria-label="Read more about Bitters Neat">Read more</a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>(a short tale)</strong></p>
<p><strong>THE</strong> oldest trouble in the world comes from want of understanding. And it is entirely the fault of the woman. Somehow, she is built incapable of speaking the truth, even to herself. She only finds it out about four months later, when the man is dead, or has been transferred. Then she says she never was so happy in her life, and marries some one else, who again touched some woman&#8217;s heart elsewhere, and did not know it, but was mixed up with another man&#8217;s wife, who only used him to pique a third man. And so round again &#8211; all criss-cross.</p>
<p>Out here, where life goes quicker than at Home, things are more obviously tangled, and therefore more pitiful to look at. Men speak the truth as they understand it, and women as they think men would like to understand it; and then they all act lies which would deceive Solomon, and the result is a heartrending muddle that half a dozen open words would put straight. This particular muddle did not differ from any other muddle you may see, if you are not busy playing cross-purposes yourself, going on in a big Station any cold season. Its only merit was that it did not come all right in the end; as muddles are made to do in the third volume.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve forgotten what the man was &#8211; he was an ordinary sort of man &#8211; a man you meet any day at the A.D.C.&#8217;s end of the table, and go away and forget about. His name was Surrey; but whether he was in the Army or the P.W.D., on the Commissariat, or the Police, or a factory, I don&#8217;t remember. He wasn&#8217;t a Civilian. He was just an ordinary man, of the light-coloured variety, with a fair moustache and with the average amount of pay that comes between twenty-seven and thirty-two &#8211; from six to nine hundred a month.</p>
<p>He didn&#8217;t dance, and he did what little riding he wanted to do by himself, and was busy in office all day, and never bothered his head about women. No man ever dreamed he would. He was of the type that doesn&#8217;t marry, just because it doesn&#8217;t think about marriage. He was one of the plain cards, whose only use is to make up the pack, and furnish background to put the Court cards against.</p>
<p>Then there was a girl &#8211; ordinary girl, the dark-coloured variety &#8211; daughter of a man in the Army, who played a little, sang a little, talked a little, and furnished the background, exactly as Surrey did. She had been sent out here to get married if she could, because there were many sisters at home, and Colonels&#8217; allowances aren&#8217;t elastic. She lived with an aunt. She was a Miss Tallaght, and men spelt her name &#8216;Tart&#8217; on the programmes when they couldn&#8217;t catch what the introducer said.</p>
<p>Surrey and she were thrown together in the same Station one cold weather; and the particular Devil who looks after muddles prompted Miss Tallaght to fall in love with Surrey. He had spoken to her perhaps twenty times &#8211; certainly not more &#8211; but she fell as unreasoningly in love with him as if she had been Elaine and he Lancelot.</p>
<p>She, of course, kept her own counsel; and, equally of course, her manner to Surrey, who never noticed manner or style or dress any more than he noticed a sunset, was icy, not to say repellent. The deadly dullness of Surrey struck her as a reserve of force, and she grew to believe he was wonderfully clever in some secret and mysterious sort of line. She did not know what line; but she believed, and that was enough. No one suspected anything of any kind, for the simple reason that no one took any deep interest in Miss Tallaght except her Aunt; who wanted to get the girl off her hands.</p>
<p>This went on for some months, till a man suddenly woke up to the fact that Miss Tallaght was the one woman in the world for him, and told her so. She jawabed him &#8211; without rhyme or reason; and that night there followed one of those awful bedroom conferences that men know nothing about. Miss Tallaght&#8217;s Aunt, querulous, indignant, and merciless, with her mouth full of hair-pins, and her hands full of false hair-plaits, set herself to find out by cross-examination what in the name of everything wise, prudent, religious, and dutiful, Miss Tallaght meant by jawabing her suitor. The conference lasted for an hour and a half, with question on question, insult and reminders of poverty &#8211; appeals to Providence, then a fresh mouthful of hair-pins &#8211; then all the questions over again, beginning with:- &#8216;But what do you see to dislike in Mr. __?&#8217; then, a vicious tug at what was left of the mane; then impressive warnings and more appeals to Heaven; and then the collapse of poor Miss Tallaght, a rumpled, crumpled, tear-stained arrangement in white on the couch at the foot of the bed, and, between sobs and gasps, the whole absurd little story of her love for Surrey.</p>
<p>Now, in all the forty-five years&#8217; experience of Miss Tallaght&#8217;s Aunt, she had never heard of a girl throwing over a real genuine lover with an appointment, for a problematical, hypothetical lover to whom she had spoken merely in the course of the ordinary social visiting rounds. So Miss Tallaght&#8217;s Aunt was struck dumb, and, merely praying that Heaven might direct Miss Tallaght into a better frame of mind, dismissed the ayah, and went to bed; leaving Miss Tallaght to sob and moan herself to sleep.</p>
<p>Understand clearly, I don&#8217;t for a moment defend Miss Tallaght. She was wrong &#8211; absurdly wrong &#8211; but attachments like hers must sprout by the law of averages, just to remind people that Love is as nakedly unreasoning as when Venus first gave him his kit and told him to run away and play.</p>
<p>Surrey must be held innocent &#8211; innocent as his own pony. Could he guess that, when Miss Tallaght was as curt and as unpleasing as she knew how, she would have risen up and followed him from Colombo to Dakar at a word? He didn&#8217;t know anything, or care anything about Miss Tallaght. He had his work to do.</p>
<p>Miss Tallaght&#8217;s Aunt might have respected her niece&#8217;s secret. But she didn&#8217;t. What we call &#8216;talking rank scandal,&#8217; she called &#8216;seeking advice&#8217;; and she sought advice, on the case of Miss Tallaght, from the Judge&#8217;s wife &#8216;in strict confidence, my dear,&#8217; who told the Commissioner&#8217;s wife, &#8216;of course you won&#8217;t repeat it, my dear,&#8217; who told the Deputy Commissioner&#8217;s wife, &#8216;you understand it is to go no further, my dear,&#8217; who told the newest bride, who was so delighted at being in possession of a secret concerning real grown-up men and women, that she told any one and every one who called on her. So the tale went all over the Station, and from being no one in particular, Miss Tallaght came to take precedence of the last interesting squabble between the Judge&#8217;s wife and the Civil Engineer&#8217;s wife. Then began a really interesting system of persecution worked by women &#8211; soft and sympathetic and intangible, but calculated to drive a girl off her head. They were all so sorry for Miss Tallaght, and they cooed together and were exaggeratedly kind and sweet in their manner to her, as those who said: &#8216;You may confide in us, my stricken deer!&#8217;</p>
<p>Miss Tallaght was a woman, and sensitive. It took her less than one evening at the Band Stand to find that her poor little, precious little secret, that had been wrenched from her on the rack, was known as widely as if it had been written on her hat. I don&#8217;t know what she went through. Women don&#8217;t speak of these things, and men ought not to guess; but it must have been some specially refined torture, for she told her Aunt she would go Home and die as a Governess sooner than stay in this hateful &#8211; hateful &#8211; place. Her Aunt said she was a rebellious girl, and sent her Home to her people after a couple of months; and said no one knew what the pains of a chaperone&#8217;s life were.</p>
<p>Poor Miss Tallaght had one pleasure just at the last. Halfway down the line, she caught a glimpse of Surrey, who had gone down on duty, and was then in the up-train. And he took off his hat to her. She went Home, and if she is not dead by this time must be living still.</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">9393</post-id>	</item>
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		<title>By Word of Mouth</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/by-word-of-mouth.htm</link>
		
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		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Apr 2021 10:46:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<guid isPermaLink="false">https://ks-demo3.web/tale/by-word-of-mouth/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<strong>(a short tale)</strong> Not though you die to-night, O Sweet, and wail, A spectre at my door, Shall mortal Fear make Love immortal fail— I shall but love you more, Who, from Death’s house returning, ... <a title="By Word of Mouth" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/by-word-of-mouth.htm" aria-label="Read more about By Word of Mouth">Read more</a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="leftmargin">
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>(a short tale)</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><small>Not though you die to-night, O Sweet, and wail,<br />
A spectre at my door,<br />
Shall mortal Fear make Love immortal fail—<br />
I shall but love you more,<br />
Who, from Death’s house returning, give me still<br />
One moment’s comfort in my matchless ill.<br />
<i>(Shadow Houses)</i></small></p>
<p><b>THIS</b> tale may be explained by those who know how souls are made, and where the bounds of the Possible are put down. I have lived long enough in this India to know that it is best to know nothing, and can only write the story as it happened.</p>
<p>Dumoise was our Civil Surgeon at Meridki, and we called him ‘Dormouse,’ because he was a round little, sleepy little man. He was a good Doctor and never quarrelled with any one, not even with our Deputy Commissioner who had the manners of a bargee and the tact of a horse. He married a girl as round and as sleepy-looking as himself. She was a Miss Hillardyce, daughter of ‘Squash’ Hillardyce of the Berars, who married his Chief’s daughter by mistake. But that is another story.</p>
<p>A honeymoon in India is seldom more than a week long; but there is nothing to hinder a couple from extending it over two or three years. India is a delightful country for married folk who are wrapped up in one another. They can live absolutely alone and without interruption just as the Dormice did. Those two little people retired from the world after their marriage, and were very happy. They were forced, of course, to give occasional dinners, but they made no friends thereby, and the Station went its own way and forgot them; only saying, occasionally, that Dormouse was the best of good fellows though dull. A Civil Surgeon who never quarrels is a rarity, appreciated as such.</p>
<p>Few people can afford to play Robinson Crusoe anywhere—least of all in India, where we are few in the land and very much dependent on each other’s kind offices. Dumoise was wrong in shutting himself from the world for a year, and he discovered his mistake when an epidemic of typhoid broke out in the Station in the heart of the cold weather, and his wife went down. He was a shy little man, and five days were wasted before he realised that Mrs. Dumoise was burning with something worse than simple fever, and three days more passed before he ventured to call on Mrs. Shute, the Engineer’s wife, and timidly speak about his trouble. Nearly every household in India knows that Doctors are very helpless in typhoid. The battle must be fought out between Death and the Nurses minute by minute and degree by degree. Mrs. Shute almost boxed Dumoise’s ears for what she called his ‘criminal delay,’ and went off at once to look after the poor girl. We had seven cases of typhoid in the Station that winter and, as the average of death is about one in every five cases, we felt certain that we should have to lose somebody. But all did their best. The women sat up nursing the women, and the men turned to and tended the bachelors who were down, and we wrestled with those typhoid cases for fifty-six days, and brought them through the Valley of the Shadow in triumph. But, just when we thought all was over, and were going to give a dance to celebrate the victory, little Mrs. Dumoise got a relapse and died in a week, and the Station went to the funeral. Dumoise broke down utterly at the brink of the grave, and had to be taken away.</p>
<p>After the death Dumoise crept into his own house and refused to be comforted. He did his duties perfectly, but we all felt that he should go on leave, and the other men of his own Service told him so. Dumoise was very thankful for the suggestion—he was thankful for anything in those days—and went to Chini on a walking-tour. Chini is some twenty marches from Simla, in the heart of the Hills, and the scenery is good if you are in trouble. You pass through big, still deodar forests, and under big, still cliffs, and over big, still grass-downs swelling like a woman’s breasts; and the wind across the grass, and the rain among the deodars say–‘Hush-hush-hush.’ So little Dumoise was packed off to Chini, to wear down his grief with a full-plate camera and a rifle. He took also a useless bearer, because the man had been his wife’s favourite servant. He was idle and a thief, but Dumoise trusted everything to him.</p>
<p>On his way back from Chini, Dumoise turned aside to Bagi, through the Forest Reserve which is on the spur of Mount Huttoo. Some men who have travelled more than a little say that the march from Kotegarh to Bagi is one of the finest in creation. It runs through dark wet forest, and ends suddenly in bleak, nipped hillside and black rocks. Bagi dâk-bungalow is open to all the winds and is bitterly cold. Few people go to Bagi. Perhaps that was the reason why Dumoise went there. He halted at seven in the evening, and his bearer went down the hillside to the village to engage coolies for the next day’s march. The sun had set, and the night-winds were beginning to croon among the rocks. Dumoise leaned on the railing of the verandah, waiting for his bearer to return. The man came back almost immediately after he had disappeared, and at such a rate that Dumoise fancied he must have crossed a bear. He was running as hard as he could up the face of the hill.</p>
<p>But there was no bear to account for his terror. He raced to the verandah and fell down, the blood spurting from his nose and his face iron-gray. Then he gurgled—‘I have seen the <i>Memsahib</i>! I have seen the <i>Memsahib</i>!’</p>
<p>‘Where?’ said Dumoise.</p>
<p>‘Down there, walking on the road to the village. She was in a blue dress, and she lifted the veil of her bonnet and said—“Ram Dass, give my <i>salaams</i> to the <i>Sahib</i>, and tell him that I shall meet him next month at Nuddea.” Then I ran away, because I was afraid.’</p>
<p>What Dumoise said or did I do not know. Ram Dass declares that he said nothing, but walked up and down the verandah all the cold night, waiting for the <i>Memsahib</i> to come up the hill, and stretching out his arms into the dark like a madman. But no <i>Memsahib</i> came, and, next day, he went on to Simla cross-questioning the bearer every hour.</p>
<p>Ram Dass could only say that he had met Mrs. Dumoise, and that she had lifted up her veil and given him the message which he had faithfully repeated to Dumoise. To this statement Ram Dass adhered. He did not know where Nuddea was, had no friends at Nuddea, and would most certainly never go to Nuddea, even though his pay were doubled.</p>
<p>Nuddea is in Bengal, and has nothing whatever to do with a Doctor serving in the Punjab. It must be more than twelve hundred miles south of Meridki.</p>
<p>Dumoise went through Simla without halting, and returned to Meridki, there to take over charge from the man who had been officiating for him during his tour. There were some Dispensary accounts to be explained, and some recent orders of the Surgeon-General to be noted, and, altogether, the taking-over was a full day’s work. In the evening Dumoise told his <i>locum tenens</i>, who was an old friend of his bachelor days, what had happened at Bagi; and the man said that Ram Dass might as well have chosen Tuticorin while he was about it.</p>
<p>At that moment a telegraph-peon came in with a telegram from Simla, ordering Dumoise not to take over charge at Meridki, but to go at once to Nuddea on special duty. There was a nasty outbreak of cholera at Nuddea, and the Bengal Government being shorthanded, as usual, had borrowed a Surgeon from the Punjab.</p>
<p>Dumoise threw the telegram across the table and said—‘Well?’</p>
<p>The other Doctor said nothing. It was all that he could say.</p>
<p>Then he remembered that Dumoise had passed through Simla on his way from Bagi; and thus might, possibly, have heard first news of the impending transfer.</p>
<p>He tried to put the question and the implied suspicion into words, but Dumoise stopped him with—‘If I had desired <i>that</i>, I should never have come back from Chini. I was shooting there. I wish to live, for I have things to do . . . but I shall not be sorry.’</p>
<p>The other man bowed his head, and helped, in the twilight, to pack up Dumoise’s just opened trunks. Ram Dass entered with the lamps.</p>
<p>‘Where is the <i>Sahib</i> going?’ he asked.</p>
<p>‘To Nuddea,’ said Dumoise softly.</p>
<p>Ram Dass clawed Dumoise’s knees and boots and begged him not to go. Ram Dass wept and howled till he was turned out of the room. Then he wrapped up all his belongings and came back to ask for a character. He was not going to Nuddea to see his <i>Sahib</i> die and, perhaps, to die himself.</p>
<p>So Dumoise gave the man his wages and went down to Nuddea alone, the other Doctor bidding him good-bye as one under sentence of death.</p>
<p>Eleven days later he had joined his <i>Memsahib</i>; and the Bengal Government had to borrow a fresh Doctor to cope with that epidemic at Nuddea. The first importation lay dead in Chooadanga Dâk-Bungalow.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">9147</post-id>	</item>
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		<title>Chatauquaed</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/chatauquaed.htm</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[wa_admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Apr 2021 10:20:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<guid isPermaLink="false">https://ks-demo3.web/tale/chatauquaed/</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<strong>page 1 of 3 </strong> Tells how the Professor and I found the Precious Rediculouses and how they Chautauquaed at us. Puts into print some sentiments better left unrecorded, and proves that a neglected theory ... <a title="Chatauquaed" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/chatauquaed.htm" aria-label="Read more about Chatauquaed">Read more</a>]]></description>
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<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 1 of 3<br />
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<p style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">Tells how the Professor and I found the Precious Rediculouses and how they Chautauquaed at us. Puts into print some sentiments better left unrecorded, and proves that a neglected theory will blossom in congenial soil. Contains fragments of three lectures and a confession.</p>
<p style="text-align: center; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic;">“But these, in spite of careful dirt.<br />
Are neither green nor sappy;<br />
Half conscious of the garden squirt.<br />
The Spendlings look unhappy,”</p>
<p><b>OUT</b> of the silence under the appletrees the Professor spake. One leg thrust from the hammock netting kicked lazily at the blue. There was the crisp crunch of teeth in an apple core.</p>
<p>“Get out of this,” said the Professor lazily. As it was on the banks of the Hughli, so on the green borders of the Musquash and the Ohio—eternal unrest, and the insensate desire to go ahead. I was lapped in a very trance of peace. Even the apples brought no indigestion.</p>
<p>“Permanent Nuisance, what is the matter now?” I grunted.</p>
<p>“G’long out of this and go to Niagara,” said the Professor in jerks. “Spread the ink of description through the waters of the Horseshoe falls—buy a papoose from the tame wild Indian who lives at the Clifton House—take a fifty-cent ride on the <i>Maid of the Mist</i>—go over the falls in a tub.”</p>
<p>“Seriously, is it worth the trouble? Everybody who has ever been within fifty miles of the falls has written his or her impressions. Everybody who has never seen the falls knows all about them, and—besides, I want some more apples. They’re good in this place, ye big fat man,” I quoted.</p>
<p>The Professor retired into his hammock for a while. Then he reappeared flushed with a new thought. “If you want to see something quite new let’s go to Chautauqua.”</p>
<p>“What’s that?”</p>
<p>“Well, it’s a sort of institution. It’s an educational idea, and it lives on the borders of a lake in New York State. I think you’ll find it interesting; and I know it will show you a new side of American life.”</p>
<p>In blank ignorance I consented. Everybody is anxious that I should see as many sides of American life as possible. Here in the East they demand of me what I thought of their West. I dare not answer that it is as far from their notions and motives as Hindustan from Hoboken—that the West, to this poor thinking, is an America which has no kinship with its neighbour. Therefore I congratulated them hypocritically upon “their West,”and from their lips learn that there is yet another America, that of the South—alien and distinct. Into the third country, alas! I shall not have time to penetrate. The newspapers and the oratory of the day will tell you that all feeling between the North and South is extinct. None the less the Northerner, outside his newspapers and public men, has a healthy contempt for the Southerner which the latter repays by what seems very like a deep-rooted aversion to the Northerner. I have learned now what the sentiments of the great American nation mean. The North speaks in the name of the country; the West is busy developing its own resources, and the Southerner skulks in his tents. His opinions do not count; but his girls are very beautiful.</p>
<p>So the Professor and I took a train and went to look at the educational idea. From sleepy, quiet little Musquash we rattled through the coal and iron districts of Pennsylvania, her coke ovens flaring into the night and her clamorous foundries waking the silence of the woods in which they lay. Twenty years hence woods and cornfields will be gone, and from Pittsburg to Shenango all will be smoky black as Bradford and Beverly: for each factory is drawing to itself a small town, and year by year the demand for rails increases. The Professor held forth on the labour question, his remarks being prompted by the sight of a train-load of Italians and Hungarians going home from mending a bridge.</p>
<p>“You recollect the Burmese,” said he. “The American is like the Burman in one way. He won’t do heavy manual labour. He knows too much. Consequently he imports the alien to be his hands—just as the Burman gets hold of the Madrassi. If he shuts down all labour immigration he will have to fill up his own dams, cut his cuttings and pile his own embankments. The American citizen won’t like that. He is racially unfit to be a labourer in <i>muttee</i>. He can invent, buy, sell and design, but he cannot waste his time on earthworks. <i>Iswaste</i>, this great people will resume contract labour immigration the minute they find the aliens in their midst are not sufficient for the jobs in hand. If the alien gives them trouble they will shoot him.”</p>
<p>“Yes, they will shoot him,” I said, remembering how only two days before some Hungarians employed on a line near Musquash had seen fit to strike and to roll down rocks on labourers hired to take their places, an amusement which caused the sheriflf to open fire with a revolver and wound or kill (it really does not much matter which) two or three of them. Only a man who earns ten pence a day in sunny Italy knows how to howl for as many shillings in America.</p>
<p>The composition of the crowd in the cars began to attract my attention. There were very many women and a few clergymen. Where you shall find these two together, there also shall be a fad, a hobby, a theory, or a mission.</p>
<p>“These people are going to Chautauqua,” said the Professor. “It’s a sort of open-air college—they call it—but you’ll understand things better when you arrive.” A grim twinkle in the back of his eye awakened all my fears.</p>
<p>“Can you get anything to drink there?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Are you allowed to smoke?”</p>
<p>“Ye-es, in certain places.”</p>
<p>“Are we staying there over Sunday?”</p>
<p>“<i>No</i>.” This very emphatically.</p>
<p>Feminine shrieks of welcome: “There’s Sadie!” “Why, Maimie, is that yeou!” “Alfs in the smoker. Did you bring the baby?” and a profligate expenditure of kisses between bonnet and bonnet told me we had struck a gathering place of the clans. It was midnight. They swept us, this horde of clamouring women, into a Black Maria omnibus and a sumptuous hotel close to the borders of a lake—Lake Chautauqua. Morning showed as pleasant a place of summer pleasuring as ever I wish to see. Smooth-cut lawns of velvet grass, studded with tennis-courts, surrounded the hotel and ran down to the blue waters, which</p>
<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>page 2<br />
</strong></p>
<p>were dotted with rowboats. Young men in wonderful blazers, and maidens in more wonderful tennis costumes; women attired with all the extravagance of unthinking Chicago or the grace of Washington (which is Simla) filled the grounds, and the neat French nurses and exquisitely dressed little children ran about together. There was pickerel-fishing for such as enjoyed it; a bowling-alley, unlimited bathing and a toboggan, besides many other amusements, all winding up with a dance or a concert at night. Women dominated the sham mediæval hotel, rampaged about the passages, flirted in the corridors and chased unruly children off the tennis-courts. This place was called Lakewood. It is a pleasant place for the unregenerate,</p>
<p>“<i>We</i> go up the lake in a steamer to Chautauqua,” said the Professor,</p>
<p>“But I want to stay here. This is what I understand and like.”</p>
<p>“No, you don’t. You must come along and be educated.”</p>
<p>All the shores of the lake, which is eighteen miles long, are dotted with summer hotels, camps, boat-houses and pleasant places of rest. You go there with all your family to fish and to flirt. There is no special beauty in the landscape of tame cultivated hills and decorous, woolly trees, but good taste and wealth have taken the place in hand, trimmed its borders and made it altogether delightful.</p>
<p>The institution of Chautauqua is the largest village on the lake. I can’t hope to give you an idea of it, but try to imagine the Charlesville at Mussoorie magnified ten times and set down in the midst of hundreds of tiny little hill houses, each different from its neighbour, brightly painted and constructed of wood. Add something of the peace of dull Dalhousie, flavour with a tincture of missions and the old Polytechnic, Cassell’s Self Educator and a Monday pop, and spread the result out flat on the shores of Naini Tal Lake, which you will please transport to the Dun. But that does not half describe the idea. We watched it through a wicket gate, where we were furnished with a red ticket, price forty cents, and five dollars if you lost it. I naturally lost mine on the spot and was fined accordingly.</p>
<p>Once inside the grounds on the paths that serpentined round the myriad cottages I was lost in admiration of scores of pretty girls, most of them with little books under their arms, and a pretty air of seriousness on their faces. Then I stumbled upon an elaborately arranged mass of artificial hillocks surrounding a mud puddle and a wormy streak of slime connecting it with another mud puddle. Little boulders topped with square pieces of putty were strewn over the hillocks—evidently with intention. When I hit my foot against one such boulder painted “Jericho,” I demanded information in aggrieved tones.</p>
<p>“Hsh!” said the Professor. “It’s a model of Palestine—the Holy Land—done to scale and all that, you know.”</p>
<p>Two young people were flirting on the top of the highest mountain overlooking Jerusalem; the mud puddles were meant for the Dead Sea and the Sea of Galilee, and the twisting gutter was the Jordan. A small boy sat on the city “Safed” and cast his line into Chautauqua Lake. On the whole it did not impress me. The hotel was filled with women, and a large blackboard in the main hall set forth the exercises for the day. It seemed that Chautauqua was a sort of educational syndicate, <i>cum</i> hotel, <i>cum</i> (very mild) Rosherville. There were annually classes of young women and young men who studied in the little cottages for two or three months in the year and went away to self-educate themselves. There were other classes who learned things by correspondence, and yet other classes made up the teachers. All these delights I had missed, but had arrived just in time for a sort of debauch of lectures which concluded the three months’ education. The syndicate in control had hired various lecturers whose names would draw audiences, and these men were lecturing about the labour problem, the servant-girl question, the artistic and political aspect of Greek life, the Pope in the Middle Ages and similar subjects, in all of which young women do naturally take deep delight. Professor Mahaffy (what the devil was he doing in that gallery?) was the Greek art side man, and a Dr. Gunsaulus handled the Pope. The latter I loved forthwith. He had been to some gathering on much the same lines as the Chautauqua one, and had there been detected, in the open daylight, smoking a cigar. One whole lighted cigar. Then his congregation or his class, or the mothers of both of them, wished to know whether this was the sort of conduct for a man professing temperance. I have not heard Dr, Gunsaulus lecture, but he must be a good man. Professor Mahaffy was enjoying himself. I sat close to him at tiffin and heard him arguing with an American professor as to the merits of the American Constitution. Both men spoke that the table might get the benefit of their wisdom, whence I argued that even eminent professors are eminently human.</p>
<p>“Now, for goodness’ sake, behave yourself,” said the Professor. “You are not to ask the whereabouts of a bar. You are not to laugh at anything you see, and you are not to go away and deride this Institution.”</p>
<p>Remember that advice. But I was virtuous throughout, and my virtue brought its own reward. The pariour of the hotel was full of conmiittees of women; some of them were Methodist Episcopalians, some were Congregationalists, and some were United Presbyterians; and some were faith healers and Christian Scientists, and all trotted about with notebooks in their hands and the expression of Atlas on their faces. They were connected with missions to the heathen, and so forth, and their deliberations appeared to be controlled by a male missionary. The Professor introduced me to one of them as their friend from India.</p>
<p>“Indeed,” said she; “and of what denomination are you?”</p>
<p>“I—I live in India,” I murmured.</p>
<p>“You are a missionary, then?”</p>
<p>I had obeyed the Professor’s orders all too well. “I am not a missionary,” I said, with, I trust, a decent amount of regret in my tones. She dropped me and I went to find the Professor, who had cowardly deserted me, and I think was laughing on the balcony. It is very hard to persuade a denominational American that a man from India is not a missionary. The home-returned preachers very naturally convey the impression that India is inhabited solely by missionaries.</p>
<p>I heard some of them talldng and saw how, all unconsciously, they were hinting the thing which was not. But prejudice governs me against my will. When a woman looks you in the face and pities you for having to associate with “heathen” and “idolaters”—Sikh Sirdar of the north, if you please, Mahommedan gentlemen and the simple-minded <i>Jat</i> of the Punjab—what can you do?</p>
<p>The Professor took me out to see the sights, and lest I should be further treated as a denominational missionary I wrapped myself in tobacco smoke. This ensures respectful treatment at Chautauqua. An amphitheatre capable of seating five thousand people is the centre-point of the show. Here the lecturers lecture and the concerts are held, and from here the avenues start. Each cottage is decorated according to the taste of the owner, and is full of girls. The verandahs are alive with them; they fill the sinuous walks; they hurry from lecture to lecture, hatless, and three under one sunshade; they retail little confidences walking arm-in-arm; they giggle for all the world like uneducated maidens, and they walk about and row on the lake with their</p>
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<p>very young men. The lectures are arranged to suit all tastes. I got hold of one called “The Eschatology of Our Saviour.” It set itself to prove the length, breadth and temperature of Hell from information garnered from the New Testament. I read it in the sunshine under the trees, with these hundreds of pretty maidens pretending to be busy all round; and it did not seem to match the landscape. Then I studied the faces of the crowd. One-quarter were old and worn; the balance were young, innocent, charming and frivolous. I wondered how much they really knew or cared for the art side of Greek life, or the Pope in the Middle Ages; and how much for the young men who walked with them. Also what their ideas of Hell might be. We entered a place called a museum (all the shows here are of an improving tendency) , which had evidently been brought together by feminine hands, so jumbled were the exhibits. There was a facsimile of the Rosetta stone, with some printed popular information; an Egyptian camel saddle, miscellaneous truck from the Holy Land, another model of the same, photographs of Rome, badly-blotched drawings of volcanic phenomena, the head of the pike that John Brown took to Harper’s Ferry that time his soul went marching on, casts of doubtful value, and views of Chautauqua, all bundled together without the faintest attempt at arrangement, and all very badly labelled.</p>
<p>It was the apotheosis of Popular Information. I told the Professor so, and he said I was an ass, which didn’t affect the statement in the least. I have seen museums like Chautauqua before, and well I know what they mean. If you do not understand, read the first part of <i>Aurora Leigh</i>. Lectures on the Chautauqua stamp I have heard before. People don’t get educated that way. They must dig for it, and cry for it, and sit up o’ nights for it; and when they have got it they must call it by another name or their struggle is of no avail. You can get a degree from this Lawn Tennis Tabernacle of all the arts and sciences at Chautauqua. Mercifully the students are womenfolk, and if they marry the degree is forgotten, and if they become school-teachers they can only instruct young America in the art of mispronouncing his own language. And yet so great is the perversity of the American girl that she can, scorning tennis and the allurements of boating, work herself nearly to death over the skittles of archaeology and foreign tongues, to the sorrow of all her friends.</p>
<p>Late that evening the contemptuous courtesy of the hotel allotted me a room in a cottage of quarter-inch planking, destitute of the most essential articles of toilette furniture. Ten shillings a day was the price of this shelter, for Chautauqua is a paying institution. I heard the Professor next door banging about like a big jack-rabbit in a very small packing-case. Presently he entered, holding between disgusted finger and thumb the butt end of a candle, his only light, and this in a house that would bum quicker than cardboard if once lighted.</p>
<p>“Isn’t it shameful? Isn’t it atrocious? A dâk bungalow <i>khansamah</i> wouldn’t dare to give me a raw candle to go to bed by. I say, when you describe this hole rend them to pieces. A candle stump! Give it ’em hot.”</p>
<p>You will remember the Professor’s advice to me not long ago. “’Fessor,” said I loftily (my own room was a windowless dog-kennel) , “this is unseemly. We are now in the most civilised country on earth, enjoying the advantages of an Institootion which is the flower of the civilisation of the nineteenth centiuy; and yet you kick up a fuss over being obliged to go to bed by the stump of a candle! Think of the Pope in the Middle Ages. Reflect on the art side of Greek life. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy, and get out of this. You’re filling two-thirds of my room.”</p>
<div align="center"><span class="h2"><b>.     .     .     .     .</b></span></div>
<p><i>Apropos</i> of Sabbath, I have come across some lovely reading which it grieves me that I have not preserved. Chautauqua, you must know, shuts down on Sundays. With awful severity an eminent clergyman has been writing to the papers about the beauties of the system. The stalls that dispense terrible drinks of Moxie, typhoidal milk-shakes and sulphuric-acid-on-lime-bred soda-water are stopped; boating is forbidden; no steamer calls at the jetty, and the nearest railway station is three miles oflF, and you can’t hire a conveyance; the barbers must not shave you, and no milkman or butcher goes his rounds. The reverend gentleman enjoys this (he must wear a beard). I forget his exact words, but they run: “And thus, thank God, no one can supply himself on the Lord’s day with the luxuries or conveniences that he has neglected to procure on Saturday,” Of course, if you happen to linger inside the wicket gate—verily Chautauqua is a close preserve—over Sunday, you must bow gracefully to the rules of the place. But what are you to do with this frame of mind? The owner of it would send missions to convert the “heathen,” or would convert you at ten minutes’ notice; and yet if you called him a heathen and an idolater he would probably be very much offended.</p>
<p>Oh, my friends, I have been to one source of the river of missionary enterprise, and the waters thereof are bitter—bitter as hate, narrow as the grave! Not now do I wonder that the missionary in the East is at times, to our thinking, a little intolerant towards beliefs he cannot understand and people he does not appreciate. Rather it is a mystery to me that these delegates of an imperious ecclesiasticism have not a hundred times ere this provoked murder and fire among our wards. If they were true to the iron teachings of Centreville or Petumna or Chunkhaven, when they came they would have done so. For Centreville or Smithson or Squeehawken teach the only true creeds in all the world, and to err from their tenets, as laid down by the bishops and the elders, is damnation. How it may be in England at the centres of supply I cannot tell, but shall presently learn. Here in America I am afraid of these grim men of the denominations, who know so intimately the will of the Lord and enforce it to the uttermost. Left to themselves they would prayerfully, in all good faith and sincerity, slide gradually, ere a hundred years, from the mental inquisitions which they now work with some success to an institootion—be sure it would be an “institootion” with a journal of its own—not far different from what the Torquemada ruled aforetime. Does this seem extravagant? I have watched the expression on the men’s faces when they told me that they would rather see their son or daughter dead at their feet than doing such and such things—trampling on the grass on a Sunday, or something equally heinous—and I was grateful that the law of men stood between me and their interpretation of the law of God. They would assuredly slay the body for the soul’s sake and account it righteousness. And this would befall not in the next generation, perhaps, but in the next, for the very look I saw in a Eusufzai’s face at Peshawar when he turned and spat in my tracks I have seen this day at Chautauqua in the face of a preacher. The will was there, but not the power.</p>
<p>The Professor went up the lake on a visit, taking my ticket of admission with him, and I found a child, aged seven, fishing with a worm and pin, and spent the rest of the afternoon in his company. He was a delightful young citizen, full of information and apparently ignorant of denominations. We caught sunfish and catfish and pickerel together.</p>
<p>The trouble began when I attempted to escape through the wicket on the jetty and let the creeds fight it out among themselves. Without that ticket I could not go, unless I paid five dollars. That was the rule to prevent people cheating.</p>
<p>“You see,” quoth a man in charge, “you’ve no idea of the meanness of these people. Why, there was a lady this season—a prominent member of the Baptist connection—we know, but we can’t prove it that she had two of her hired girls in a cellar when the grounds were being canvassed for the annual poll-tax of five dollars a head. So she saved ten dollars. We can’t be too careful with this crowd. You’ve got to produce that ticket as a proof that you haven’t been living in the groimds for weeks and weeks.”</p>
<p>“For weeks and weeks!” The blue went out of the sky as he said it. “But I wouldn’t stay here for one week if I could help it,” I answered.</p>
<p>“No more would I,” he said earnestly.</p>
<p>Returned the Professor in a steamer, and him I basely left to make explanations about that ticket, while I returned to Lakewood— the nice hotel without any regulations. I feared that I should be kept in those terrible grounds for the rest of my life.</p>
<p>And it turned out an hour later that the same fear lay upon the Professor also. He arrived heated but exultant, having baffled the combined forces of all the denominations and recovered the five-dollar deposit. “I wouldn’t go inside those gates for anything,” he said. “I waited on the jetty. What do you think of it all?’</p>
<p>“It has shown me a new side of American life,” I responded. “I never want to see it again—and I’m awfully sorry for the girls who take it seriously. I suppose the bulk of them don’t. They just have a good time. But it would be better——”</p>
<p>“How?”</p>
<p>“If they all got married instead of pumping up interest in a bric-a-brac museum and advertised lectures, and having their names in the papers. One never gets to believe in the proper destiny of woman until one sees a thousand of ’em doing something different. I don’t like Chautauqua. There’s something wrong with it, and I haven’t time to find out where. But it is wrong.”</p>
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		<title>Consequences</title>
		<link>https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/consequences.htm</link>
		
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		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Apr 2021 11:46:56 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<strong>[a short tale]</strong> <b>THERE</b> are yearly appointments, and two-yearly appointments, and five-yearly appointments at Simla, and there are, or used to be, permanent appointments, whereon you stayed up for the term of your natural life, ... <a title="Consequences" class="read-more" href="https://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/tale/consequences.htm" aria-label="Read more about Consequences">Read more</a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center; color: red; font-style: italic;"><strong>[a short tale]</strong></p>
<p><b>THERE</b> are yearly appointments, and two-yearly appointments, and five-yearly appointments at Simla, and there are, or used to be, permanent appointments, whereon you stayed up for the term of your natural life, and secured red cheeks and a nice income. Of course, you could descend in the cold weather; for Simla is rather dull then.</p>
<p>Tarrion came from goodness knows where—all away and away in some forsaken part of Central India, where they call Pachmari a Sanitarium, and drive behind trotting-bullocks, I believe. He belonged to a regiment ; but what he really wanted to do was to escape from his regiment and live in Simla for ever and ever. He had no preference for anything in particular, beyond a good horse<br />
and a nice partner. He thought he could do everything well; which is a beautiful belief when you hold it with all your heart. He was clever in many ways, and good to look at, and always made people round him comfortable—even in Central India.</p>
<p>So he went up to Simla, and, because he was clever and amusing, he gravitated naturally to Mrs. Hauksbee, who could forgive everything but stupidity. Once he did her great service by changing the date on an invitation-card for a big dance which Mrs. Hauksbee wished to attend, but couldn’t, because she had quarrelled with the A.-D.-C., who took care, being a mean man, to invite her to a small dance on the 6th instead of the big Ball of the 26th. It was a very clever piece of forgery; and when Mrs. Hauksbee showed the A.-D.-C. her invitation-card, and chaffed him mildly for not better managing his vendettas, he really thought that he had made a mistake; and—which was wise—realised that it was no use to fight with Mrs. Hauksbee. She was grateful to Tarrion, and asked what she could do for him. He said simply, ‘I’m a Freelance up here on leave, on the lookout for what I can loot. I haven’t a square inch of interest in all Simla. My name isn’t known to any man with an appointment in his gift, and I want an appointment—a good, sound one. I believe you can do anything you turn yourself to. Will you help me?’ Mrs. Hauksbee thought for a minute, and passed the lash of her riding-whip through her lips, as was her custom when thinking. Then her eyes sparkled and she said, ‘I will’ ; and she shook hands on it. Tarrion, having perfect confidence in this great woman, took no further thought of the business at all, except to wonder what sort of an appointment he would win.</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee began calculating the prices of all the Heads of Departments and Members of Council she knew, and the more she thought the more she laughed, because her heart was in the game and it amused her. Then she took a Civil List and ran over a few of the appointments. There are some beautiful appointments in the Civil List. Eventually, she decided that, though Tarrion was too good for the Political Department, she had better begin by trying to place him there. Her own plans to this end do not matter in the least, for Luck or Fate played into her hands, and she had nothing to do but to watch the course of events and take the credit of them.</p>
<p>All Viceroys, when they first come out, pass through the Diplomatic Secrecy craze. It wears off in time; but they all catch it in the beginning, because they are new to the country. The particular Viceroy who was suffering from the complaint just then—this was a long time ago, before Lord Dufferin ever came from Canada, or Lord Ripon from the bosom of the English Church—had it very badly; and the result was that men who were new to keeping official secrets went about looking unhappy; and the Viceroy plumed himself on the way in which he had instilled notions of reticence into his Staff.</p>
<p>Now, the Supreme Government have a careless custom of committing what they do to printed papers. These papers deal with all sorts of things—from the payment of Rs.200 to a ‘secret service’ native, up to rebukes administered to Vakils and Motamids of Native States, and rather brusque letters to Native Princes, telling them to put their houses in order, to refrain from kidnapping women, or filling offenders with pounded red pepper, and eccentricities of that kind. Of course, these things could never be made public, because Native Princes never err officially, and their States are officially as well administered as Our territories. Also, the private allowances to various queer people are not exactly matters to put into newspapers, though they give quaint reading sometimes. When the Supreme Government is at Simla these papers are prepared there, and go round to the people who ought to see them in office-boxes or by post. The principle of secrecy was to that Viceroy quite as important as the practice, and he held that a benevolent despotism like Ours should never allow even little things, such as appointments of subordinate clerks, to leak out till the proper time. He was always remarkable for his principles.</p>
<p>There was a very, important batch of papers in preparation at that time. It had to travel from one end of Simla to the other by hand. It was not put into an official envelope, but a large, square, pale pink one; the matter being in MS. on soft crinkley paper. It was addressed to ‘The Head Clerk, etc. etc.’ Now, between ‘The Head Clerk, etc. etc.’ and ‘Mrs. Hauksbee’ and a flourish, is no very great difference, if the address be written in a very bad hand, as this was. The orderly who took the envelope was not more of an idiot than most orderlies. He merely forgot where this most unofficial cover was to be delivered, and so asked the first Englishman he met, who happened to be a man riding down to Annandale in a great hurry. The Englishman hardly looked at it, said, ‘ Mrs. Hauksbee,’ and went on. So did the orderly, because that letter was the last in stock and he wanted to get his work over. There was no book to sign; he thrust the letter into Mrs. Hauksbee’s bearer’s hands and went off to smoke with a friend. Mrs. Hauksbee was expecting some cut-out pattern things in flimsy paper from a friend. As soon as she got the big square packet, therefore, she said, ‘Oh, the dear creature !’ and tore it open with a paper-knife, and all the MS. enclosures tumbled out on the floor.</p>
<p>Mrs. Hauksbee began reading. I have said the batch was rather important. That is quite enough for you to know. It referred to some correspondence, two measures, a peremptory order to a native chief, and two dozen other things. Mrs. Hauksbee gasped as she read, for the first glimpse of the naked machinery of the Great Indian Government, stripped of its casings, and lacquer, and paint, and guard-rails, impresses even the most stupid man. And Mrs. Hauksbee was a clever woman. She was a little afraid at first, and felt as if she had taken hold of a lightning-flash by the tail, and did not quite know what to do with it. There were remarks and initials at the side of the papers; and some of the remarks were rather more severe than the papers. The initials belonged to men who are all dead or gone now; but they were great in their day. Mrs. Hauksbee read on and thought calmly as she read. Then the value of her trove struck her, and she cast about for the best method of using it. Then Tarrion dropped in, and they read through all the papers together, and Tarrion, not knowing how she had come by them, vowed that Mrs. Hauksbee was the greatest woman on earth. Which I believe was true or nearly so.</p>
<p>‘The honest course is always the best,’ said Tarrion, after an hour and a half of study and conversation. ‘All things considered, the Intelligence Branch is about my form. Either that or the Foreign Office. I go to lay siege to the High Gods in their Temples.’</p>
<p>He did not seek a little man, or a little big man, or a weak Head of a strong Department, but he called on the biggest and strongest man that the Government owned, and explained that he wanted an appointment at Simla on a good salary. The compound insolence of this amused the Strong Man, and, as he had nothing to do for the moment, he listened to the proposals of the audacious Tarrion. ‘You have, I presume, some special qualifications, besides the gift of self-assertion, for the claims you put forward?’ said the Strong Man. ‘That, Sir,’ said Tarrion, ‘is for you to judge.’ Then he began, for he had a good memory, quoting a few of the more important notes in the papers—slowly and one by one as a man drops chlorodyne into a glass. When he had reached the peremptory order—and it was a very peremptory order—the Strong Man was troubled. Tarrion wound up—‘And I fancy that special knowledge of this kind is at least as valuable for, let us say, a berth in the Foreign Office, as the fact of being the nephew of a distinguished officer&#8217;s wife.’ That hit the Strong Man hard, for the last appointment to the Foreign Office had been by black favour, and he knew it.</p>
<p>‘I&#8217;ll see what I can do for you,’ said the Strong Man.</p>
<p>‘Many thanks,’ said Tarrion. Then he left, and the Strong Man departed to see how the appointment was to be blocked.</p>
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<h2><b>.     .     .     .     .</b></h2>
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<p>Followed a pause of eleven days; with thunders and lightnings and much telegraphing. The appointment was not a very important one, carrying only between Rs.500 and Rs.700 a month; but, as the Viceroy said, it was the principle of diplomatic secrecy that had to be maintained, and it was more than likely that a boy so well supplied with special information would be worth translating. So they translated Tarrion. They must have suspected him, though he protested that his information was due to singular talents of his own. Now, much of this story, including the after-history of the missing envelope, you must fill in for yourself, because there are reasons why it cannot be written. If you do not know about things Up Above, you won’t understand how to fill in, and you will say it is impossible.</p>
<p>What the Viceroy said when Tarrion was introduced to him was—‘This is the boy who “rushed” the Government of India, is it? Recollect, Sir, that is not done twice.’ So he must have known something.</p>
<p>What Tarrion said when he saw his appointment gazetted was—‘If Mrs. Hauksbee were twenty years younger, and I her husband, I should be Viceroy of India in fifteen years.’</p>
<p>What Mrs. Hauksbee said, when Tarrion thanked her, almost with tears in his eyes, was first—‘I told you so!’ and next, to herself—‘What fools men are!’</p>
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